Feb 24, 2021
I never believed in soul connection until I met you
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I never believed in soul connection until I met you
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And in my collapsing soul I search for you broken minds because I know you who have experienced the worst are the truly kind. And together, you, me and the loss we know can stand together in the restlessness of love. Love for our light. A light that is too bright for day.
Night thoughts
L.Viruly
Sometimes I wonder if people talk to me because they enjoy my company or because I'm the only one that's on to talk to :/
Home
She didn't want to go home that night. Not at all. Not because of anything immensely horrific, her dad hadn't yelled or screamed at her in a couple days, no one was hitting her or abusing her in any way, she just... didn't want to be at home. She didn't want to remember that she'd be leaving it for something new in just a few weeks, she didn't want to remember that she had to pick and choose from the clothes strewn all over the floor things to bring with her because she couldn't take it all. She didn't want to see the look on her loving baby sister's face, the look that meant I'm going to miss you so much when you're gone. She didn't want to hear her mother ranting about packing and financial aid. She couldn't take coming to that reality, not after trying to be so strong for everyone else for so long, not after needing to be the big girl for everyone else, just like always....
She texted person after person begging for refuge from her own head, but no responses came... not even no's just... no acknowledgment. She drove around her hometown for hours just waiting... for someone... something... to no avail.
Tears streamed down her face as rain began spatter the windshield. All of this... she was leaving all of this behind... her home... her car... her stuff... her bed... her friends, some of whom were leaving all the same things behind as well. She hadn't wanted to admit that it bothered her.... not when she had an audience to be strong for... She didn't want to admit that she was scared to pieces... not to anyone... not even herself... But here it was... staring her dead in the face... shrieking like a banshee. She was beginning to take the steps that truly determined what her life was going to be and with each step forward, she felt ten times smaller in the giant thing that was the world. Like graduation all over again, when she'd been just a small creature in a sea of people under a giant gaping sky... a moment when she thought she'd feel on top of the world but instead felt smaller than ever before...
Ultimately, as the tears dried, as she realized no responses were going to come, she turned her car around and headed to the last place she'd wanted to go... the home that she had to face she was leaving.