#feeling heavy

The book is beautiful. Cree art is beautiful.

My wife read it, and she cried about the muskrat.

Looking back ive never told her the story really.

I also was suggested a book by a friend called "Stolen Words" (specifically Cree) and its a heavy book. I was reading it and thinking about asking my grandmother the same questions the main character asks her grandfather.

If you want a powerful book to teach your kids the damage residential schools did to natives, get "Stolen Words" Written by Melanie Florence and Illustrated by Gabrielle Grimard

The art is so beautiful and deep.

head. don't know if it's the alcohol or the smoking or the sleeping for 16 hours.

heart. is it the having to be performative all the time? with even friends? with even myself? but it's self-preservation, isn't it? a way to cope with this life.

eyes. again, don't know if it's the smoking or crying. or the crying while smoking.

body. yes, I love my body and my tummy is lovely. but it also feels heavy as do my arms and my shoulders. literally and literary.

expectations. my expectations of myself and of others. but is that really something to be changed? my expectations are not without empathy and a whole lot of consideration. for others anyway.

assumptions. the heaviest assumptions are the assumptions I make regarding what others think/feel towards me. so damn heavy.