#feelaliveagain

#SeaSaltFortheSoul one Day #DRhasitAll We all need to #FeelAliveAgain #MusicLoveOnesGretVibes https://www.instagram.com/p/CFPrbDBDrc2/?igshid=vwx1kjj3rbc4

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It's all been a long time coming. I used to long to go back to the time when I was a wide eyed child with no fear of the world. As one of five children, I was kinda just lumped into someone else's greatness. I was just one of five jewels that my parents lovingly displayed to the world. I wanted something more. To have my own life and my own space. I wanted my own adventures and my own journeys. So that's exactly what I did. I left the nest and ventured out on my own to see the world through my own two eyes. I travelled far, saw and did much and I lived more than most people do in ten lifetimes. And, to my own surprise all I wanted during that time was to go home. But when I would go home it would only take a few days and then I would be ready to leave again. It's funny how the things we think we want/need the most are often the things we end up running from. After 8 years of running away, I went back home. It was what I thought I wanted, or at least what I thought I needed. And it wasn't too long before I could feel the far away places calling my name. I missed the ocean. I still do. I am a sailor, both in the literal and metaphorical sense. I never knew true satisfaction until I was hundreds of miles out to sea with nothing but the sky above and the void below. There is great power is knowing you can leave the world behind when the tide takes you out. I miss the freedom I had before. I would never say this to my two year. I love her and I wouldn't trade her for anything. But that doesn't mean that I can't miss who I was before. Being a Mother has been the best adventure I have been on so far. Also the most fulfilling! But so now that I have been land logger for a few years, I am getting that familiar yearning. I have seriously toyed with the idea of packing my little one and myself into the car and just start driving. Ugh! I know this is nothing but the ramblings of someone is isn't really unhappy, just bored. I am really just looking for that thing to make me feel alive again.