#feedback.txt

after that rape fetish blog interacted with me, i’m genuinely starting to wonder if they don’t actually get off on it.

i'm not gonna lie i thought i already had a disclaimer as such posted or that my faq made this clear but thank you for just being blunt with me. i'm autistic and sometimes miss really obvious stuff like this. thank you i'll do this.

for the record and for anyone who needs to hear it because i want to be crystal clear: this blog is about holding abusers accountable for their actions. it is NOT an indictment of every single transfem person. nobody here is saying all transfems are predators, because that is simply not true. having to clarify that feels a bit silly because it should be obvious, but i want this space to be focused on the harm done by specific individuals, not a generalized attack on a whole community.

it makes me so frustrated and angry not only for myself but for every single survivor who has bravely submitted their story despite the controversy this blog drew.

it also really bothers me when i get comments of people picking apart the language used by a submitter. i am not going to go after a survivor and nitpick how they talk about the shit they went through, i am sorry. that does not mean i agree with every single thought, implication, or sentiment someone says, but i am not going to put them through an endless cycle of editing their story down to be acceptable to me. i want people to be able to come as they are. this is a sort of radical acceptance people are not ready for, but it is what this blog espouses!

people do not seem to realize that sort of nitpicking DOES NOT HELP ANYONE and in fact ostracizes isolates and shuts down survivors. that is how people end up being radicalized into radfem ideology btw! not because they are essentially evil and Always Harbored Evil Terf Sentiments!!!!!! because they are traumatized and vulnerable and isolated.

the fact that people claim these stories are made up also really fucking bothers me. like, regardless of if you disagree with why i am running this blog or something, it is fucked up and wrong to claim people are lying about being sexually assaulted. it just... is. regardless of who is saying it.

i think about all the female-born people including transmascs and especially those of us who are poor who don’t have access to basic reproductive rights. this is a huge danger to us, and it ruins lives. we are suffering because the government hates us and treats our bodies as disposable.

and then there’s our families, our neighbors, and our communities that call us selfish and even murderers. and weaponize religion to shame & scare us into maintaining pregnancies. they see us as female when it comes to controlling our bodies, even if we’re transmasc. and when it comes to everything else too - if you don’t pass completely, you experience misogyny. and most transmascs, especially young or poor transmascs who don’t have access to hrt, don’t. it makes me feel sick, and i’m scared to even talk about this in feminist spaces sometimes because this is one of those issues cis girls/women and transmascs have in common, and when you acknowledge that, i’ve watched people get called terfs or bioessentialists just for talking about female reproductive anatomy. 

it hurts. and it’s so fucking offensive because i’m not a terf. i love my trans sisters. but this is still my reality. pretending it isn’t real doesn’t protect trans people, it just silences us. i’m tired. i feel like i can’t escape misogyny even in queer communities. 

i see some of the things written on here by transfeminists and then i think of my trans siblings assigned female in countries where people with that assignment do not get human rights and i want to scream and pull my hair out and rip at my clothes with grief. it feels like an utter taboo to acknowledge the reality of things, so i really appreciate you saying this, particularly because i am in a similar situation regarding pregnancy.

feeling dysphoria or putting pronouns in my bio or paying money to the government to be called something different on their paperwork is fucking meaningless in the face of patriarchal oppression. not that it has no importance or that it should not happen, but that they do not register it or us other than to dismissively chew up and spit us out if we can't assimilate into patriarchy and usually we just can't. it is not bioessentialism to acknowledge the reality of the anatomy that i have and what it means for me. my transness is not a get out of jail free card for the patriarchy, but it is like bizzaro world in most transfeminist spaces.

they fail to realize they have recreated the same fucking essentialism only it is even weaker now. the assertion that trans people are always their true genders deep down and this only needs revealing implies the existence of true genders universally, but what about when people change their mind, or discover more nuances to their identity? it does not track with reality, my own experiences, or the experiences of the trans people i know, respect, and love.

Thank you so much for saying this. It truly means a lot to hear someone else articulate how shocking and sickening this rhetoric is.

It is honestly baffling to see people so casually throw around terms like that, especially when you consider the historical weight of those comparisons. Minimizing the Holocaust just to "win" a discourse argument on a blog is absolutely horrific.