#feb23

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HARRY! 

you just can't imagine yourself saying no. you can't imagine telling her that you're leaving, that she's hurt you far too much this time.

you stare at her across the room. she looks awfully composed, considering the things she's said. the things she's done. you feel sick.

the fact that she is there is a threat. the fact that she is this close to you has your mind screaming danger but for some reason you just can't go. you've never been able to.

so you stayed. so you stayed, and you stayed, and you knew and saw the patterns but you stayed anyway. in that way, you suppose, you handed her the blade.

how does that saying go? its like giving someone a gun and asking them not to shoot. maybe, then, you'd been asking for this. maybe you'd had it coming. you'd just thought perhaps this time, she would be different.

still, though. you stand across the room. she is holding a familiar blade. and thats bad, you think, its bad that i can recognize this hurt.

you stayed because you thought she could be better. you stayed because, deep down, you hoped that she'd pretend with you that either of you understood this love.

anyway, you don't even know why you're surprised. even before she stabs you again, the knife is still stained with your old dried blood.

angeleyes

west seneca, ny

february 12, 2023 // 5:55 PM