It is no secret that the waters of North America can be a bit...difficult. Ponds, rivers and lakes are vital for man, as can be seen with many cultures, however some regions can make such settlements much harder to establish. Taming such forces of nature are never easy, but what of the beasts that dwell within them? Winding rivers can be mapped, rapids can be weakened and man has been shown to have the power to create their own water bodies when needed, but the fauna of these places are not so easily put into place. Of course, when one thinks about creatures of the water causing grief towards man, they think of killer fish and man eating serpents. Terrible monsters that feast upon flesh, but they are not the only problems that can plague humanity. Sometimes you get a harmless beast, like the boat hound, whose role in these waters isn't harmful, just really damn annoying

First look at a boat hound makes the source of their name quite obvious, as this supposed canine is very much shaped like one. A body akin to a row boat, with frog-like legs, a big mouth and four ears. Their love for water adds to the name, as they live in lakes and ponds, spending their days down in the depths. They are nocturnal in nature, only rising to the surface at night to feed.But when they are on the prowl for food, that is when the other source of their name is revealed.

Boat hounds are strict skáphophages, which means that they only eat boats. When they come up at night, they are looking for untied boats to feast upon, their large mouths and variety of odd teeth making short work of the vessel. They tear into it with aggressive glee, chomping down on every last scrap til there is nothing left. Boat hounds typically go for long periods between meals, using a low metabolism and simple lifestyle to conserve energy. They come up to the surface, devour every boat they can and then dive back down into the deep to sleep it off. This allows them to stay in the safety of the depths for longer, while also giving time for their food supply to replenish.

The typical question that comes up when discussing boat hounds is: why only untied boats? Surely a starving boat hound wouldn't pass up a responsibly harnessed vessel? It would seem that this is true, that boat hounds will take any boat when in a pinch, it just seems that they favor those that are untied. The reasoning may be that boat hounds prefer to drag their meal away from the shore and to a safe location to eat. Monstrous as their grin and size may be, boat hounds are not top of the food chain. There are predators that would happily feed on them, and thus this species is incredibly wary. This is why they possess four ears, allowing them to hear everything around them. When danger is detected, they are quick to bolt. But if your meal is docked or tied up on land, it makes it harder to take their meal to a better location.

The other reasoning may be that the boat hound gets blamed for any and all boat disappearances, especially when someone failed to secure their vessel. Disturbing fact it may be, but these hounds are not the only vessel destroyers in these waters, and that isn't even accounting for typical incompetence. When a boat goes missing, the boat hound is first on the suspect list, even when the loss was entirely the owner's fault. As one will learn in just a short bit, this blame has caused the species a good amount of trouble.

For the natives of the land, the boat hound is a mischievous beast and a swimming life lesson. No better creature to teach the young about the importance of tying up your boat and securing your belongings. This is why canoe racks were invented and remain popular to this day, to lift your vessel up into the air so that the boat hounds couldn't reach it. Though it is associated with canines, the boat hound was never domesticated or trained, as it was found to be far too costly to keep up with their diet. That and them sleeping all day doesn't really help. However, it has been noted that there have been times when boat hounds have been weaponized, driven towards the shores of the enemy so that they could devour their vessels. Colonists learned the hard way about the boat hounds, as their sporadic appearances and ludicrous lifestyle had many laugh at the natives who tried to warn them. But once enough boats vanished down their gullets, the call to war was made.

The colonizing of America saw the boat hound populations suffer, as the outsiders to this land deemed them a pest. Folks despised losing boats to them, and their presence in the waterways spelled trouble for establishing port towns. The beasts would be baited with floating boats at night, with hunters secretly onboard and ready to strike. Their fur would make for fine boat covers, as well as waterproof clothing, which was a fashion taken from the natives who had hunted these creatures before. Their populations would be decimated as colonists took root in this land, driving the creatures away from civilization. Thankfully, their nocturnal lifestyle and rare appearances made it difficult to truly eradicate them, but the hits were still hard enough that their numbers were never the same again.

“The Devil Came Not by Land, But by Air”Or: How a German Forest Phantom Became an American Flying Machine of Pure Hysteria In the hills and hollows of western Maryland—where the fog coils like a threat and the trees seem to lean in just a little too close—there is said to be a creature that swoops from the sky with a scream like scalding steel, blood in its beak, and no agenda beyond terror for…

THE ROPERITE Pseudoequus nasiretinaculi In the foothills of the Sierras, where the Digger pine grows, dwells one of the most peculiarly specialized animals to be found anywhere on the American continent. No one knows its life-history, even approximately, and many a discussion has been based upon the question as to whether the beast is born, hatched from eggs, or comes into existence…

During Canadian winters, it is advised to stay indoors and avoid spending too long outside, especially in the more remote regions. Certainly the snow and cold are dangerous things, and folks want to avoid hypothermia or getting lost in the chaotic frigid weather. However, there is another danger they warn about out there, one that arrives with the winter season and can be just as invisible as the insidious chill. When the ground and trees are blanketed in white snow, and the wind dies down, it can seem tranquil out there in the wintry wilds. The scene may look peaceful, with not a single soul around, but there is a chance you are actually not alone out there. A creature stirs while others may sleep, and those who tread upon the snow know well enough to do so lightly. Winter brings the snow and cold, but it also brings the Snow Wassets.

Northern folk know Snow Wassets quite well, sometimes referring to them as "Arctic Weasels." They do appear to be a mustelid, though their length and size can put other members of that family to shame. The species is known as a stealthy and deadly hunter, but only during the winter season. They burrow their long serpentine bodies beneath the snow, and slither below undetected. With sensitive ears and whiskers, they sense the sound of prey blundering across the snowy layer, and strike with unnatural speed. The hunt of a Snow Wasset is over in seconds, as they explode out of the snow and sink their long teeth into their meal. They typically aim for the throat, crushing the wind pipe and then dragging them down. When a kill is scored, they pull their prize into the snow, then use their long bodies to brush more snow over top of it, so they may dine in peace. With a layer of white disguising the hunter and the hunted, there is less of a chance of scavengers stealing from them.

Snow Wassets are incredible hunters and masters of ambush, and they are capable of taking a variety of prey down. It can eat simple rabbits and grouse, but can also feed upon the likes of wolves, deer and even man. When winter is in full swing and food is scarce, they are not likely to pass up any tempting morsel they come across. And for this reason, Snow Wassets are feared out in the wintry wilds by both man and beast. There have been a number of stories where witnesses saw a wolf pack's hunt being interrupted by an emerging Snow Wasset, taking advantage of their distraction to grab one of the canines. This same tactic is why hunters are warned about chasing blindly after prey, lest they stumble right into the jaws of a wasset.

Though the Snow Wasset is seen as a vicious winter beast, it is not always a ravenous monster. When spring time comes around, and the snow begins to melt, their hunting method ceases to work and they flee north. As the weather grows warm, their white coat grows green, to better hide themselves in the new foliage. Not only do they change color, but they grow simple limbs to help them crawl across the ground and slink through the shadows. They continue to ambush food from the underbrush, but their prey is much smaller and the wasset is far less bold than it would be in winter. Eventually, when the summer heat cranks up, the Snow Wasset will find a marsh and dig itself a burrow. There it will hibernate through the peak summer season, only waking when cooler temperatures arrive. It is when the first snow comes when the wasset will change its coat back to white and shed its crude limbs. These appendages fall off much like how a lizard may drop its tail. The Snow Wasset will head south, and soon the winter hunt will be on.

Due to their aggression and wide variety of prey, the Snow Wasset is seen as a danger and a maneater. They are often blamed for any disappearances that occur during the winter whenever the missing person had gone out to the remote woods. In the early days, the Snow Wasset's hunts were attributed to ghosts and frigid spirits, vanishing those who dared tread into the cold dark forest. In time, though, the natives of the land learned of the Snow Wasset's existence and crafted new tales and purpose for this beast. They would develop ways to confuse the predator and avoid a terrible fate, with the main method being a special way of walking across snow. The Snow Wasset relies on vibrations and sound to detect prey, and is smart enough to memorize the patterns of food. However, the natives found that moving with irregular rhythm and breaking up their sequence of steps would prevent the wassets from catching on to their presence. The resulting movement comes out very dance-like, and has been incorporated into a few of the tribe's celebrations.

While the natives were able to avoid being eaten by the Snow Wasset, their efforts didn't stop there. They figured out a way to hunt them, with the use of bait and logs. The method calls for setting up dead falls around an area, with each log aimed to roll inward once the signal is given. In the center of this ring would be live bait, whose movements would attract the wasset. When the creature attacked, the signal would be given and the logs would be released, rolling inward atop the beast. Because the Snow Wasset's long body is obscured by the snow, there is no telling where to set the trap. Thus the use of many logs to cover the area so that one may succeed in pinning its hidden body. Once the massive weasel is trapped, the hunters rush in to finish it off. Snow Wassets were rarely hunted for food, and more so for their valuable pelts. In their wintry form, they lack limbs and thus their furs come with no holes. And since their hide is designed to keep out the cold and wetness of snow, the natives found it made for excellent winter wear, sleeping bags, as well as canoes! By stretching the head across a wooden frame, a one man canoe could be easily crafted. The technique of building one, as well as hunting a wasset, is taught to every member of the tribe as a lesson in survival.

Eventually, loggers and trappers would make their way to these cold remote forests, and have their first encounters with the Snow Wasset. The natives made an attempt to warn these newcomers of the hidden beast, but their words were often brushed aside as "superstition" and "ghost stories." When folk started vanishing, then the lumberjacks started believing these tales. They attempted to learn the walking technique as a way to avoid attacks, but would screw it up most the time. Instead, their way of escaping a hungry wasset was to put spurs on their boots, which would let them scramble up trees when a wasset was around. Up there, they would simply wait til the creature got bored and left, which only worked for so long. Snow Wassets are clever beasts and can memorize sounds and patterns, and a falling tree was a noise they started getting used to. A toppling tree usually meant animals fleeing amidst the din, which meant easy pickings. And now they would learn that this noise also meant other morsels were nearby, ones that were responsible for starting all the ruckus. In time, the Snow Wassets would lurk around winter logging operations for better hunting opportunities, which also meant eating a couple lumberjacks as well. Since warding them off was a problem, and spotting them in the first place was near impossible, logging companies soon took to using poisoned bait to kill local wassets. The result was a drop in nearby populations, until only those in the remote wilderness remained.

In more recent years, with the scaling back on mass logging of these areas, the Snow Wassets have slowly returned to some of their natural ranges. However, the fear and reputation of them still lingers. The same warnings given decades ago hold true to remote towns and villages, where one should be wary about wandering through the snow. Cross country skiers and snow shoe enthusiasts are common victims, especially when many winter time tourists ignore the warnings. Some parks and alpine areas have created "Snow Wasset proof" trails and barriers to keep travelers safe, but those only protect the people who stay on them. No matter how many signs and fences you put up, someone is going to get the bright idea of pretending they don't exist. Snow Wassets have also become a popular target amongst hunters and trappers, who see them as an impressive trophy. While deer are turned into mounts and bears into rugs, hunted Snow Wassets tend to be crafted into things like fur curtains, scarves and even body pillows. While their meat isn't seen as anything special, wasset legs are viewed as a delicacy. When the time comes for the beasts to shed their limbs, folk scour the countryside to collect them. They are said to make an incredible stew or chili, while some people prefer to eat them off the bone.

Though they are feared, Snow Wassets do show up in various parts of culture. They make excellent mascots for winter sports teams, especially for bobsledding and hockey. Their green spring time versions show up at cranberry farms, as the wassets tend to hibernate in such bogs. Stuffed animals of them are also made as either toys or charming scarves. They are used as a sign of the changing seasons, be it their color shifting fur or shedding limbs. The saying "still got some green on its fur" is used when winter is not quite here yet, while "wasset finally got its shoes" is for when spring at last arrives. And of course who could forget Snow Wasset Day? The time honored tradition when folk gather around a Snow Wasset burrow and watch it emerge. If the wasset comes out and sees its shadow, it will retreat back inside and cause summer to go on for six more weeks. If they emerge without issue, then fall and winter are soon to come. Towns in the Labrador province have made a whole ceremony out of this superstition, to the point where everyone now knows Wabush Will, the famous Snow Wasset that decides how long summer lasts. Every year, people watch the event either in person or on live stream, to see the famed wasset do his thing. The tradition has gone on for decades, requiring for there to be multiple Wabush Wills. In time, each one retires and a new Wabush Will is given the official burrow for them to hibernate in and emerge from. However, it should be noted that "retired" and "too old to do the job" is the language they use to make things sound all nice and happy. One has to remember that once the wasset has left their burrow, they vanish into the wilds and go hunting. No one can control what ol Wabush Will does at that point, or who he eats. Quite a few Wabush Wills were "retired" when they were snagged by a trapper or shot in the head when they had their teeth in the throat of a skier.

While the Snow Wasset population has grown from its previous slump, many fear that their numbers may be in trouble once more. As climate change continues, the weather gets warmer and the winters more mild. Snow is not as plentiful as it once was, which means harder hunting conditions for the wassets. Spring seems to come much faster, and hotter summers call for longer hibernation. Since they have to sleep for longer, they need more food to gorge on. And with less snow in their typical ranges, they need to either move elsewhere or become more bold in their hunting. As a result, Snow Wasset attacks are slowly starting to rise, as they become desperate for food. There have even been encounters during spring, when the Snow Wasset should be more timid. But their need for food means they need to be more aggressive, and not pass up on any meals. If things don't change soon, the wasset warnings won't only apply to winter anymore....

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"Snow Wasset"

“The Pines Remember Everything”Or: How a Colonial Curse Grew Wings, Screamed, and Never Stopped Screaming If the American northeast has a soul, it’s buried under pine needles and bad history. Long before toll roads and casinos transformed New Jersey into an interstate punchline, it was a wild, swamp-choked frontier—home to witches, rebels, exiles, and the thing that lives between the…