#fearsoftears

I miss you. I miss you when I eat hot sauce on anything, so much that I switched hot sauce brands so I wouldnt think of you. I miss you when my brain responds to things with words you'd say or how you'd say things. I miss you when I try to watch stupid cartoons we watched when I was a kid. I miss you whenever it's a little too gloomy outside or a little to sunny. I miss you when I think I see a vehicle you used to have or when I see a person that looks like the you I remember most. I miss you when a holiday comes by even though you didnt like them. I miss you when I try to text or call you and harshly remember that I can't. I miss you when I am around the children of people you were friends with bc I only saw them when you were around. I miss you when I think of our old house or spend time with my mom and when my brain thinks. I miss you when I try writing or when I play a song on guitar that I dont finish and hear you as crystal clear beside me saying "you're getting it munchk, finish the song." The way you would. I miss you when i am angry that we were distant and can't understAnd why you wouldn't talk to me or why you couldn't stop the thing that took you from me. I miss you when i play my clarinet and remenber that big fight you Nd mom had over if you can but a motorcycle so I deserve a good playable clarinet and feel horrible that i barely even touch the thing now. I cannot fathom how it's already been 3 years... I swear on my soul it just fucking happened. I am so angry at you. You should still be here with me, damn it.