#fdwl

Reading Time: 5+ Minutes

Tagging: @acrispyapple , @masamunesmistress , @that-otome-potato​, @ihavenotfallenyet​

Day 5 in the Sengoku period. Kenshin finally took Katsumi out of the castle to have her explore Kasugayama.

Then and there, he finally bore witness to her curious side—her innocent side—as she was wide-eyed throughout their walk together. A sight he never thought would surface beneath her usually stoic expression.

As he watched her aimlessly walk around like a lost child, his mind wandered on a few things: how he ended up saving this woman, how he ended up telling her his bittersweet secret that is Ouka, and how he ended up having the most unusual agreement with her.

* Characters except Ishino Katsumi belong to Ikemen Sengoku: Romances Across Time by Cybird. (Although Kenshin’s backstory may or may not be different)

* Inspired by Watashitachi no Shiawase na Jikan manga.

* Mentions of death, suicide and other nasty things. Trigger warnings.

* Source of Kenshin’s sprite

S Y N O P S I S

Both who wanted to die became each other’s salvation.

Ishino Katsumi was once a talented singer in her teenage years, only to suddenly disappear from the spotlight and lived to keep a low profile ever since. She has attempted suicide many times during her lifetime, unable to let go of the past and forgive the cruelty bestowed upon her. 

One day, instead of dying, she finds herself going way back to the Sengoku era where she has an unexpected meeting with Uesugi Kenshin, a warmonger whose blade has taken many lives. One who’s feared and thought to be invulnerable yet what she saw was different from that. Far from that.

They were almost worlds apart, yet they still have something in common that made them see each other with no prejudice. Their first encounter triggered other events, resulting in a peculiar twist of fate.

Who knew wanting to die can convince others to continue living?

T A B L E    O F   C O N T E N T S

Sneak Peek

Prologue: One Night in Spring 

Chapter One: Point of Intersection 

Chapter Two:  Locked Hearts

Chapter Three:  Confessions to a Stranger

Chapter Four:  Curse of the Cherry Blossoms

Chapter Five:  A Reminder of What Trust Was

   Chapter 5.1: Pinky Swear

   Chapter 5.2:  Suffer to Overcome

   Chapter 5.3:  Sun Between the Storm

   Chapter 5.4:  [upcoming]

   Chapter 5.5:  [upcoming]

Chapter Six:  [upcoming]

Chapter Seven:  [upcoming]

Chapter Eight:  [upcoming]

Word Count: 1180

Reading Time: 5+ Minutes

Tagging: @acrispyapple , @rizosrojizos , @masamunesmistress 

Trigger warning: Mentions of death/suicide. 

[ edited 07/16/20 ]

“I don’t think you understand what you’re doing. You’re wasting time… chances… opportunities…”

“Come back, Katsumi.”

Another beep from the telephone. Katsumi exhaled, almost like a sigh, as a puff of smoke slowly permeated the air. The tiny light from the cigarette turned dimmer until it lit no longer. The young woman finally stood up from watching the sad monochrome world outside her window and disposed the cancer stick.

The rain continued.

Everything finally felt just right. Her lingering hesitation burned out along with the light of her cigarette. She slipped on some shoes, donned a coat, and left the apartment without even bothering to take an umbrella with her. She walked towards the growing storm, going to wherever her legs take her to.

Naturally, that caught the attention of passersby. She aimlessly strode on the sidewalks without giving a glance to the stares. Whether it was out of concern or judgment, she didn’t know nor care. Her mind wandered on many things, many thoughts, many memories… until she found herself staring back at harsh waves clashing against rocks.

The river seemed alluring somewhat.

Her ears isolated the sounds of the waves and the rain. And then complete silence. Her mind cleared itself of thoughts. Her blinks turned slower, as if embracing the beauty of the dark within each closing of her eyes, and felt like falling on a whim. At last, she closed her eyes and let her body drop forward, failing to acknowledge a voice call out to her and a ghost of a hand that attempted to pull her away.

But the fall seemed too slow, too painfully slow, like the world wanted to savor on the sight before letting it happen. Her eyes remained close, but before she hit the water, a sudden flash of light almost lured her into opening her eyes once again.

“Onee-chan, sing for me again.”

Ah, fate. How harsh. The reminiscence just had to come at this moment.

. . . . .

Uesugi Kenshin was restless this evening. Preparations to engage the Oda Forces into war was going slow – “carefully” as corrected by Shingen – and it was boring him out of his wits. He eventually resorted to going to the forest in hopes of encountering some bandits along the way, expecting to relieve his impatience with a little swinging of his sword.

His steps were unhurried as he walked towards groves of trees. The evening was as quiet as the dead and that fact did not help his patience. With each step, he grew more and more antsy.

However, he caught himself hearing a hoarse voice, singing with all the remaining breath it had at its disposal. It awoke something buried deep within his heart, evoking a train of memories he’d rather forget.

But then he heard several footsteps. He instinctively followed, chasing after the bandits while trying to shake off the reminiscence he had. Now he badly wanted to fight someone.

And he found himself at a foot of a hill after reaching a clearing. A weeping cherry blossom tree stood at its top. He narrowed his eyes slightly, as the moon seemed almost conveniently near at that time. It floated just above the tree, giving the scene an intricate form of lighting. The evening breeze made the cherry blossoms sway gently, its scent mingling with the wind, and for a few moments it held Kenshin’s attention.

Despite its beauty, his chest was flooded with grief at the picturesque sight.

He was about to turn away when he finally saw the bandits as they were approaching the tree. They must have found a target. His nobility wouldn’t let it slide, and just to put fuel to the fire, a familiar voice rang in his ears.

“Life is precious.”

The bandits were startled when they heard a sword getting unsheathed nearby. It took them a while to realize that it was the Lord of Kasugayama in the flesh, and a moment later his majestic blade clashed with their dull ones.

“I-It’s Uesugi Kenshin!”

The disorganized band of four scrambled away, hurriedly running away before the animalistic bloodlust of the God of War. Disappointed, he sheathed his sword once again. He snuck a glance at their target, and his heart almost stopped.

A woman.

It wasn’t just any woman. The memory that he had tried to shake off a while ago brewed inside his mind once again, overlapping itself with the sight before him. He cursed the world once more, only greater so.

Only until a moment later did he finally realize that the air around her seemed strange. Like his first encounter with Sasuke. From her clothes to her face… her eyes were closed. She looked somewhat blissful, if only there weren’t tear stains on her pale cheeks.

For a second, it scared him to touch her. To feel that her skin was cold, and that she was like her—

“Lord Kenshin,” a familiar stoic voice called up to him, breaking him out of his trance, “I was tasked to take you back to the castle. Lord Shingen wants to continue the discussion—”

“Sasuke, take this woman back to the castle.”

“What?” Sasuke approached his lord only to find an unconscious woman by his feet. “…That looks bad.”

“Hurry up before I kill you.” He turned away from the tree and moved to the direction back to Kasugayama, following a whisper Sasuke barely heard. “…She is not allowed to die.”

The ninja was confused, but nonetheless he carried the woman with great care as they both went back to their fortress with haste. He had a few questions but decided that now wasn’t the best time for it. In closer inspection, he recognized this woman… or rather, where she came from.

Unlike his leisurely pace a while ago, Kenshin was more agitated now. And as much as he hated to admit it, he knew it wasn’t because of the fact that he couldn’t fight the bandits.

Something was prickling his heart.

They arrived shortly, and Sasuke quickly moved to find a room they could place her in. Kenshin didn’t follow, rather he stopped by the veranda, still frowning. The memory he supposedly buried deep within his heart was trying to poke its head out. Just to mock him, he believed.

“Heavens, whatever have I done?”

He escaped from the thought when a lone cherry blossom flew by his face. His eyes curiously followed it as it danced a little before landing on the floor. A shadow of a tree formed at his feet. He reluctantly turned to the cherry blossom tree near his castle and his chest ached a little. Indulging on the emotion, he closed his eyes.

One song danced on his mind. A song sung with love, gentleness and purity. Of things he believed he did not possess. Of things he believed he did not deserve anyway. Just another cruel reminder of his misfortunes.

Not like it was unusual.

Fate doesn’t seem to be satisfied with playing games with me,

he tells himself before walking once more.

Word Count: 2685

Reading Time: 10+ Minutes

Tagging: @acrispyapple , @masamunesmistress , @that-otome-potato 

Trigger warning: Mentions of death/suicide.

[ edited: 07/17/20 ]

Katsumi didn’t mean to fall asleep during the trip back, especially not in the arms of a man she just met. But she was just human, whose energy was drained in a single night’s time, and soon her body just eased onto his chest.

Kenshin spoke nothing of it. Not how he carried her back to her room when they arrived, almost admiring the familiarity of a woman’s touch—no. He convinced himself that it was because hostility nor fear did not suit that pretty face, and the bliss of unawareness seemed better.  

And then his noble self soon honored his word. He personally instructed his people not to approach the young woman unless she agreed to have their company. Complaints nor questions were not entertained, and so they just listened… well, his people, that is.

Sunlight peeked through the doors, pulling her away from the comforts of slumber. Her brows twitched as her eyes cracked open to find the same wooden ceiling she woke up to hours ago.

That’s right. Remembering the events of last night, she exhaled and closed her eyes. Then she sat up and gave her cheeks a good smack.

A decision always has its consequences. And she has to bear with it.

Her hands fell on her lap as she thoughtlessly looked around the room, thinking about what to do from then. There, she found a package stowed away near the door.

She approached it, seeing a change of clothes with a note signed by Sasuke. Apparently, Kenshin had gone to the extremes to see through their agreement. She blinked, both at the note and the kimono, as her chest warmed at the thought.

Katsumi began dressing when her mind lingered on Kenshin’s last words before she surrendered to her fatigue.

“You remind me of someone.”

Just who would that someone be?

A few moments passed until she heard a soft knock from outside, ripping her away from her trance. “Katsumi? It’s me.”

“Sasuke..?” She called as she frantically fixed her obi before coming to the door, only to find him carrying a tray. “Is that for me?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, t-thank you.” She bowed immediately, as if it was a reflex. “I would have gotten it myself if you told me…”  

“Don’t worry about it.”

Both of them stared at each other before Katsumi spoke again. “Would you like to come in?”

“Thanks.” Katsumi stepped aside as Sasuke entered, carefully setting the tray down on the desk. She reluctantly made her way beside him when he noticed her clothes. “It looks good on you.”

She offered a humble smile. “Thank you for getting it for me.”

“Do you need anything else? I could have it brought to you.”

“Oh, no. This is too much already.” She waved her hands. “I’m sorry for the trouble. You must be very busy, after all.”

“No, it’s okay. I wanted to check on you before attending to Lord Kenshin.” Sasuke attempted to show a smile to ease her worry. Katsumi relented and nodded. “Well then, I’ll leave you to eat in peace.”

Before he stepped out, he paused by the door and spoke again. “…Also, someone might visit you soon, despite Lord Kenshin’s castle memorandum. Though I assure you, he means no harm.”

And he left just like that. Katsumi pursed her lips before paying attention to the food. She picked up the chopsticks and started eating. Her brows rose in delight at the well-prepared meal, and she took her time relishing on it as a compliment to the cook. However, there was a nagging thought at the back of her head saying that she should prepare. For what?

Meanwhile, Shingen was up and about, striding the halls like an eager kid excited about something. But when he passed through Kenshin’s room, his smile faltered.

“Haven’t you had enough?”

Kenshin was just as displeased as his visitor. As if too weary to even answer him, he downs another cup and refills it again. That was an answer in itself.

“I’m surprised the alcohol hasn’t drowned you just yet.” He sighed and waved his hand dismissively, turning to leave. “Do your worst.”

And he leaves him to his drunken misery. Kenshin stares at the cup filled to the brim, losing his appetite. He cursed Shingen in his mind, but if he only became honest with himself, he just really loathes the fact that Shingen was damn right.

“I’m surprised it hasn’t killed me, too.”

As soon as she unclasped her hands to thank for the food, the door slid open. Katsumi casted her eyes at her visitor, tall and confident, on the other side of the door.

“I finally get to meet you.”

Is he the one Sasuke was referring to? She wasn’t sure, but the charming smile on his handsome face said nothing about an offender. But—

“As expected from a lady who was able to charm Kenshin, you truly look like an angel.” He said with all the certainty in the world that Katsumi was dumbfounded. A light blush dusted her cheeks.

“C-Charmed? Angel?” She looked away modestly. “I—please. Jokes like that aren’t funny…”

“Oh, but it’s the most honest thing my lips has ever said.” He doesn’t budge. Katsumi twitched uncomfortably. “I never speak of nonsense. I like to say it how I see it fit.”

A wry chuckle escaped him when she couldn’t speak. “Apologies. It wasn’t my intention to startle you, my angel.”

Katsumi drew a breath, reluctantly facing him again after reminding herself of Sasuke’s words. Surely he means no harm… since he still remained on the other side of the door, albeit the masculine grin stayed as well.

“I’m sorry, I just don’t know how to respond to… sweet talk.” She uttered. “Can I help you with something?”

“Ah, yes. I came to ask for the pleasure of having your company? I would love to invite you to a walk around the castle.” He was saying it in his typical fashion, but Katsumi somehow detected that he toned it down. “I heard you were staying. I would hate for you to get lost while you’re here.”

And that was how she found herself walking with one of the greatest names in Japanese history: Takeda Shingen.

He talked about everyday things that happen around the castle, allowing her time to comprehend his words. Then he moved to casual topics, like his beloved young commander whom he likes to tease every now and then.    

He was an unshakeable flirt, but for some reason Katsumi gradually felt okay with his company as he spoke in a rather considerate pace.

“Um, wait,” she said in the middle of their tour, “I thought Kenshin was your rival…”

“Ah. He still attempts to kill me at every chance he gets.” He casually nodded like being a target was a normal thing. “But he also does that to Sasuke, though he calls it ‘sparring.’”

Shingen led her to the cherry blossom tree that stood in the garden behind the castle. Katsumi followed silently, watching him as he gazed up at the swaying blossoms, like a sad fellow reminiscing his woes.

“We have battled each other four times, each ending in stalemates. Kenshin is a man I held worthy to fight with… a rival I acknowledged the most.” She spied his expression, seeing a flash of grief underneath steel gray eyes. She recalled Kenshin’s similar expression, and her chest ached anew.

“…But when I lost my home to Oda Nobunaga, Kenshin offered me shelter in his castle. Then we got into an alliance.”

And then it disappeared just like that… just like Kenshin’s. Shingen faced her with the same alluring smile. “Sorry for making this conversation dull. How shall I make it up to you?”

“O-Oh, I didn’t mind.” She shook her head. “I’m just surprised how it came to be. You know, rivals being in the same house.”

“Kenshin is a complicated man.”

“…I thought so, too.”

The man turned to her with piqued interest. “Did he say something about himself?”

“Not exactly,” she pressed her lips as she tried to find the right words, “I mean, his words were a little harsh and demanding… but he almost seemed like he was struggling with something, contradicting himself all the while. I found him… difficult to understand.”

“…Are you afraid of him?”

Her mind went back to her brief encounter with him. She was aware of his reputation: the God of War. She watched him strike a person without hesitation. She knew that he could kill her that night.

After an experience like that, anyone would be afraid.

But what she saw behind all that was different. She saw it with her own eyes. In that brief moment, his eyes that were once of a predator had the reflection of a broken man. His arms trapped her like a caged bird, but he had the intention of taking her to safety.

He was a complicated man, indeed.

“No.”

Shingen chuckled heartily, which Katsumi oddly interpreted as satisfaction. She wasn’t even certain it was the right answer—but it just rolled out her tongue so naturally.

“You’re in safe hands indeed.” He reassures all of a sudden. “If that woman-hater went through all that for you, then rest assured he won’t point his sword at you.”

“You say that with such confidence.”

“I’ve known him for a while.”

Katsumi’s eyes lit up subtly, with curiosity getting the best of her. She hesitantly looked at Shingen. “Can I ask you something?”

“Go ahead.”

“Do I look like someone you know?” She asked. “Or rather… someone Kenshin knows?”

“Why do you ask?” Katsumi nervously faced Shingen’s puzzled expression.

“Because he mentioned that I apparently remind him of someone.”

His forehead creased. Shingen didn’t know Kenshin was that careless… or was it the influence of alcohol? No, he wasn’t that invulnerable. Maybe he was just flustered by having to face this young woman whose eyes almost have an uncanny resemblance as hers—

“Ah,” he muttered, getting the answer, “I’m sorry, my angel, but I don’t think I have an idea.”

“Oh…” She frowned, remembering the expression he wore when they rode back home. “I wonder if it’s someone he cherished…”

“Now you’re just breaking my heart.” He feigned a hurt expression. Katsumi blinked at him blankly. A very unforgiving reaction, he thought. “All this time you’ve been with me, you speak about Kenshin.”

“Uh, I didn’t mean—” Heat crept up on the apples of her cheeks as she denied it. Her hands frantically made gestures out of panic. “I just… he looked so sad that time, so I wondered if… you know…”

“Sad, huh?” Shingen repeated. A mirthless laugh escaped his lips.

“Well, he does want to die.”

“…Excuse me?” She looked at him for confirmation. Shingen turned around and began walking forward, away from that tree that seemed to have the magic to make them say things they didn’t want to. “Shingen, what did you say—”

“Let’s go, my angel.” He insisted, briefly glancing behind his broad shoulder to face her. “We’ll speak while walking. I still need to make you forget about Kenshin while we are together.”

But you just made me want to think about him more!

Katsumi didn’t want to be too insistent, but she was too confused. Eventually, she spotted a brown-haired youth marching towards them. He was not happy at all.

“Lord Shingen!”

“Ah, Yuki!” Shingen seemed unbothered by the young man’s annoyance. “I was just about to introduce you to Katsumi—”

At the mention of a woman’s name, Yukimura turned to Katsumi as if he just noticed her there. He took a step back.

“Ah—sorry!”

“Yuki, how could not notice an angel’s presence in front of you?” The Tiger of Kai unhappily scolded Yukimura. “Katsumi, this is Yuki, my vassal.”

“N-Nice to meet you.”

Yukimura found it unsettling to see her bow to him politely, so he roughly asked her to raise her head. Honestly, when Sasuke told them to be gentle with her, he didn’t expect her to be this— delicate? It was like he couldn’t help but be different around her. Ah, this is why he can’t deal with women.

“A-Anyway, my lord! We have business to attend to!”

He stared eagerly at his lord, and Shingen sighed in distress. “I apologize, my angel. It seems I must see to this urgently.”

“Oh, please. I don’t mind at all. Thank you for your time.” She bowed.

“Well then, do you intend to show that appreciation later—”

“LORD SHINGEN!”

“Yuki, that was a little too loud.” Shingen complained, as Yukimura sighed loudly before turning to Katsumi with an apologetic expression.

“Don’t mind him.”

Without another word, Yukimura dragged his esteemed lord away as Katsumi stayed to watch them quietly. She wondered why she seems to keep meeting such weird people.

Finding herself all alone, she began walking again. She passed through a slightly open door and spots a familiar face inside. Pausing at her tracks, she saw Kenshin sitting in front of a desk, looking through several papers with a noticeable array of decanters by his side.

“Do you need something, woman?”

She flinched as he acknowledged her presence. “Sorry, I was just passing by—”

“Well, he does want to die.”

Katsumi pressed her lips together. Kenshin looked up from the document in his hand and waited for her to speak.

“A-Actually… I wanted to apologize for causing you trouble.” She said, eyes avoiding his stoic gaze. “I realized that I bothered you and wasted your time by running away and having you come for me. I acted childish and played hard to get.”

He didn’t speak. She continued. “I… I have a hard time dealing with men. I hope you can forgive me.”

“Come.”

She lifted her gaze to find him setting the papers aside to bring out the decanter of sake and a jar of pickled plums. He gestured the spot in front of him, and just like that, she stepped inside.

With the desk separating them, she settled in front of him. He brought out two sake cups.

“Frankly, I don’t care about your reasons.” Kenshin proceeded to pour a helping for himself. “My demands are baseless in itself. The apology you offer is meaningless.”

She watched him quietly as he gracefully took a sip. Strangely enough, his brusque manner of speech doesn’t bother her anymore. He glanced at her, then at the remaining cup.

“You should know that I will not pour for you.”

Katsumi regarded the empty cup, wondering if it was his way of inviting her to drink. However, Kenshin misinterpreted her reluctance.

“I am not interested in women,” he said, “much less taking advantage of them.”

Now she was more confused. Did he just try to reassure her?

“Why drink with me?”

“I’m bored.” He coolly replied. “Shingen refused to spar with me. Sasuke and Yukimura are preparing to set off to Azuchi.”

She was unsure of herself, but she gradually reached for the sake and poured herself a cup half full.

“…and I have the right to know about you.”

She paused to look at him. “About me?”

“In a battle, it’s best to have information.” Kenshin suddenly came back as his usual battle-loving self. “I know nothing about you. You are here to give me the information I need.”

The mention of battle left a bad aftertaste in her mouth, but she acknowledged how his words, no matter how peculiar its use sounds to her, has this certain charisma to it. Like it has the divine power to make anyone believe and follow him. Because look at her now, defenseless in front of the God of War, yet she wasn’t feeling afraid.

“When dusk arrives, you are free to leave.”

And there it is again. It somehow felt like he was assuring her, but she somehow knew that if she tried to confirm, he will most likely deny it.

She felt defeated, and yet she doesn’t mind.

“…Thanks for the consideration.”

And she takes the cup.

Word Count: 2807

Reading Time: 10+ Minutes

Tagging: acrispyapple , masamunesmistress , that-otome-potato

Trigger warning: Mentions of death/suicide.

[ edited 07/16/20 ]

Who could fall asleep at a time like this?

Katsumi rose from the futon and rubbed her temple. She sighed in distress and gradually came to the decision to choose to bear the headache.

She rose from the futon, planning to observe the layout of the room. No wirings, no outlets, nothing modern. She inspected the hanging scrolls, finding it so authentic. Roughly intricate brush strokes. Traditional art.

And then she found herself facing a shoji door, as her finger traced the lockless wooden handle. Her brow furrowed, worrying if people of the Sengoku had any privacy at all.

Then she slid it open, and the moonlight washed over the room like a tide.    

The moon was still shining and beautiful in the unbroken dawn.

A small smile crept to her lips upon remembering a certain someone. That’s right. That kid loved the moon. He always claimed he would one day catch it and keep it safe in his hands. He wanted to preserve the pretty thing, and she didn’t have the heart to tell him that it was impossible. Although she enjoyed seeing him happy as he gazed at the sky almost every night.

Almost.

Until he stopped.

Gradually approaching footsteps from outside removed her from her reminiscence. Her smile disappeared upon hearing an unfamiliar voice behind the paper screens.

“I’m entering.”

And a man appeared on the other side of the door. Beautiful, if not dangerous. Like Sasuke, he had the image of someone straight out of a historical drama… except that they were actually in that sort of timeline.

But what would an armed person want with her?

Kenshin didn’t bother schooling his expression as the thin line on his lips remained. “You’re shivering, woman. Close that door if it’s cold.”

Words failed her, of all times. Her forgotten fear reared itself out. Unnoticed, all at once, without warning. She could only hug herself and step back, carefully watching his every move.

In her mind, she begged those thoughts gone.

He took a step forward and she instinctively took a step back. If he had taken five more steps, she would have fallen off the balcony. Kenshin stopped and stared. The night was behind her, yet the shadows the lurked within her expression was darker. Grimmer. It was almost familiar to him, like a mirror.

What a troublesome woman.

“Stay here,” his voice was commanding, making her flinch at his words, “and wait for me.”

She was feeling cold, he assumed—or what he convinced himself to assume. He turned back to the hallway and went to find a haori himself. He couldn’t leave it to the maids because it was already time that they were asleep.

But he couldn’t seem to get his mind out of that expression on her face. It was like looking at himself. Or were his demons too convincing now that it was able to project itself to the woman?

It took him a while to find one that actually fits her and started to go back, trying to erase the mere memory of that certain face while he’s at it. His eyes were narrowed with displease all the way down the halls. He reached her room once again and found the door open.

She fled.

Panic surged inside him like a hurricane. Just as he was nearly saved from his complicated emotions, the darkest of thoughts mocked him in this time of vulnerability, followed by an inconvenient reminder of his weakness. He turned around sharply and his feet was in a hurry to go to the stables.

He encountered Sasuke along the way and he almost yelled at the poor boy. “Search around the whole castle! The woman escaped!”

“What?” the ninja managed to say, but Kenshin took no time to stop and hear his response and swiftly got on his horse. Sasuke grew worried and began to search around.

Kenshin secured the haori on the saddle and glanced at the heavens. The moon is still up. There was still time. And yet the pounding on his chest has yet to cease. For the first time, the God of War prayed for a stranger to be safe in the grasps of the evil unknowns lurking in the dark.

With a snap of the reins, Kenshin left Kasugayama once again.

Leave me alone. Leave me alone. Leave me alone.

It was noiseless, but Katsumi was desperately covering her ears as she ran away from the castle. She kept muttering to herself as she ran, ran, ran to wherever. As long as she keeps her distance away from… something. That something. That freaking something that came back without consent nor warning.  

It wasn’t because of that man. It wasn’t because he was armed, or because he had this dangerous imposition, or because she didn’t know him. No. It could’ve been anyone. Anyone could have made her feel helpless all over again and right now, she just wanted it gone.

Gone forever.

“LEAVE ME ALONE!”

A shuffle of leaves followed as startled birds flew away. Her breaths gradually turned softer as the image of her brother appeared between all those thoughts that slowly clawed at her sanity. And then, silence. Just like that, again.

And it was outright more deafening than the voices on her head.

The tall trees and its dozens of leaves were filtering the moonlight, sprinkling it like stars on her feet. She breathed out, glancing around to find herself in a forest. The headache was gone, but her reverberating heartbeat remained to drive her insane. Her knees collapsed.

All kinds of sound was blocked from her ears, except from her labored breathing. She laid her body on the grass and just retired there. She felt like caring no longer. Tired. Unmoving. She couldn’t even hear the approaching men that was watching her ever since she entered the forest.

She closed her eyes. And just like every time, her brother appeared in her mind with the silliest smile. It was bright, too bright. Perhaps it was salvation, if only it didn’t appear every single time she just wanted to—

“Why can’t you just let me die?”

And her eyes shot open upon the sound of metal briskly clashing against metal. She immediately sat up and gasped. In front of her was a beautiful white horse and the equally beautiful man regally sitting on it, the blade on hand giving off a dangerous glint in the face of light.

“Touch her once and a body will fall.”

Kenshin couldn’t understand a lot of things that happened this evening. It was eventful in a way he couldn’t put words to describe it. Everything he did, everything he was doing, everything he was about to do… it was all just a whim. Instinct. Unexplainable things. So he just surrendered to it, with no rationalizations whatsoever.  

What he does know, however, is that his blade is more than willing to see blood.

“You again?” The bandits flinched as he recognized them. Kenshin alighted from his horse to face them in fair ground, but the men found themselves losing the fight in them.

Katsumi couldn’t see it as Kenshin had his back turned against her, but if looks could kill, a massacre would have taken place in this very moment. It took her a while to realize that they were surrounded by men who were almost completely concealed in the dark, if not for the malicious glimmer of their dull, rusty blades against the limited moonlight. Bandits that meant to capture the conflicted woman and sell her to whoever.

He glanced behind his shoulder, quickly scanning her to see any injury. None. He turned back to the surrounding men. “Woman. Close your eyes.”

In the face of the God of War, the bandits valued their life more than anything else in the world… except for one. That foolish, young man. He charged blindly towards the angered warlord and in an instant, blood was spilled. Katsumi quickly covered her eyes, finding herself unable to scream from shock.

“Fool,” Kenshin shook the blood off his sword nonchalantly, “I meant to end this quickly. I don’t have time to kill for you. So either you come now or I come to you. Either way would end the same.”

With a disappointed click of his tongue, a man, perhaps the leader, called for retreat. Leaves shuffled again and silence followed. Kenshin waited a few moments, sighting the whole place before finally sheathing his sword back to its scabbard.

He walked towards the woman and knelt to her level. “Are you hurt?”

Katsumi reluctantly took off her trembling hands from her eyes and found herself looking straight into Kenshin’s eyes. She was rendered speechless for a moment, unable to process everything that just happened. Then her horrified eyes moved to look behind him, seeing an unmoving man laid face-down on the grass.

“…D-Did you kill him?”

His eyebrows knitted together in confusion. “Why would you want to know?”

“People aren’t supposed to be killed just like that.” She looked at him as if he lost all common sense. Kenshin did the same.

“He could have harmed you.” He said it like it was a matter of fact. And it was. “Are you saying he isn’t allowed to die, but you are?”

If I told the truth, what would you do?

Katsumi sealed the answer with a purse of her lips. Kenshin stood up.

“You are really troublesome,” he narrowed his eyes at her, “I told you to stay and you leave. Now I ask you a question and you stay silent.”  

Unable to answer that, she turned away. Kenshin turned to his horse, getting something from the saddle.

“…and you know it is cold out here and you dare to leave without something to keep you warm.”

He returned to the woman and quickly wrapped something around her shoulders, his fingers gently brushing against her sleeves. A haori?

“You will return with me to Kasugayama,” he said it like a declaration, “and I will not allow you to willingly face harm again.”

Something softened in her chest. Was it the warmth of the haori, or this stoic man’s words? Was he even aware of what he’s saying?

Is it another façade? A lie? A little white lie?

“…I-I don’t understand you.” She whispered, eyes falling back to oblivion where it once were. “Why are you doing this?”

Oh, how he wanted to admit that it was a question he wanted answers to, as well. But right then, something just clicked. Something he wanted to forget. Something he wanted gone.

But he still remembers.

God, he still remembers. All of it. All over again.  

Her eyes turned to his and she caught her breath on her throat. Just now, it was like they swapped expressions. She could almost see herself in him when she looked up. The very same ghost of misery haunted the soul behind his dual-colored eyes.

He blinked once and suddenly he looked as if he never had that sort of face a while ago. It disappeared just like that. A snap.

“Stand. We’ll leave at once.”

She couldn’t. Well, she could, but she didn’t. His frown deepened.

Castles. Bandits. Swords. Warring States. Those kinds of words echoed in her ears. She remembered what Sasuke told her. It felt weird somewhat, believing someone in a whim and eventually knowing he was telling the truth. She almost couldn’t recognize the feeling.

Question is, would it be worth it to try that again?

“If you are so afraid of people, then tell me so.” The warlord eyed her impatiently. Still, she remained silent. He almost went in to grab her, but his mouth had other ideas and decided to ask permission like it was a normal thing for him. “Do you need me to use force?”

Katsumi felt like walking to a trap. Problem is, the haori wrapped on her shoulders was saying otherwise. The mismatched eyes that looked at her may seem like those of a killer, but in that moment, she saw otherwise.

No. Someone like “them” would not have that kind of expression.

“See you tomorrow, Onee-chan!”

She sighed at the voice that echoed on her ears like a reminder. How the hell is she going to meet that boy if she’s dead?

“I’m not scared of people,” she finally looked back to him, “I just dislike having others enter my room in the evening. Do you think that’s negotiable?”

Now she’s talking. Kenshin certainly didn’t expect her to have some spunk in her words. He could almost laugh, if he wasn’t feeling tired of it all. He just wanted it done. “Fine. No one shall speak with you or visit your chamber unless you invited them to. In exchange for that, you will return with me back to the castle, where you are safe.”

Her eyebrows raised a little. “That’s all you want in exchange?”

“I do what I want.” He was growing more and more impatient. He uncharacteristically disliked the atmosphere inside these woods. The impurity of it. “Do we have an agreement now?”

She still couldn’t understand him.

…But she bet she was just as impossible to understand.

When she nodded, he grabbed her wrist and made her stand, almost dragging her to his horse. She couldn’t utter a complaint since she knew she was acting childish. Though she managed a little squeak when he suddenly carried her up to his horse, and got on himself.

Trapped in the confines of his arms, the reins made another snap and off they went. Surprised at the speed, she held on to his chest.

Her eyes caught a glimpse of the fallen body on the grass again as they passed through. Kenshin noticed this and let out a distressed grunt. “If he’s fortunate, his companions will come back for him and he should live.”

“How do you know that? He’s unconscious.”

“The wound I gave him was not fatal enough,” his displeasure of not killing him was evident in his voice, “I believe he passed out from great fear. The young fool. It was wiser to retreat if they valued their lives.”

“…So you didn’t kill him.” She exhaled. There she was again, feeling relieved for someone that wanted to harm her. And here was another fool.

“He was not worthy to be slain by Himezuru Ichimonji.”

She looked up to him. “You refer to yourself by your whole name?”

Now Kenshin was confused, for the umpteenth time this day. He pressed his lips together, the horse finally reaching the clearing, and he glanced down to her. Funny how she looked almost too innocent in the face of moonlight, but that doesn’t change the fact that he looked at her like she has grown insane in the matter of seconds.

“Himezuru Ichimonji is the name of my sword,” he turned his eyes front, “My name is Uesugi Kenshin.”

Kenshin. The name repeated itself on her head. She tried to remember Sasuke mentioning that name, and how she has heard of that name a lot of times in the past. Kenshin. Kenshin. Kenshin…

Until it dawned at her, whereas she glanced at his profile in awe.

…History books never told us the God of War was this good-looking.

She hasn’t given it that much thought, she didn’t have the time and effort for that, but she admitted that it did cross her mind when she met him. That explains his expertise with the sword. Might also explain his way with words. His commanding charisma that just lures one to follow him.

But why would the God of War want someone like her to return to his castle?

“I accepted your deal but,” Katsumi paused, “I really would like to know why you are so desperate to take me back.”

Now he didn’t glance back at her. He thought about it for a moment. The hooves of his horse occupied his ears along with the moans of the wind.

…Ah. Of course.

The answer was right there. And it was simple. And it was… tremendously foolish.

Fate. It was fate. His unyielding curse. His immovable nightmare.

“…You remind me of someone.”

It was something he didn’t plan on saying, but it escaped his lips like a melancholic sigh. She gazed at the brief flash of emotion he showed and her heart ached somewhat. This man had the saddest expression she has ever seen behind beautiful eyes. Her fingers curled on his clothes, clinging to him. A frown tugged at her lips as she hung her head low. They both remained silent during the short trip back to Kasugayama.

If I remind you of someone that makes you do that expression, then why do you want to keep me near?

It was a question she left unsaid.