#fcxavier

(/ wednesday, 10 a.m.  a meeting with xavier has him hobbling to his office, tight skin still hardly healing and wounds only just starting to mend.  his mind is traveling to all sorts of ends and means; he's never expected candidacy to come from such a horrid end and he wonders if he's worthy, if reaching the top means he had to face destruction to get it.  it's not really what he wanted -- what he wanted was peace.  he hasn't yet found it. ) -- (/ he barely makes it on time.  the wounds upon his torso still make him stop and heave for breath he can't take in, but it's 9:57 and even though it's early; it's still late by joonmyun's standard.  but he smiles -- a small semblance of one, knocks on the door and waits for xavier's beckoning.  he knows he'll hear him. )

xavier

{` this was the last of the meetings, junki is almost certain -- though there were still a couple of other candidates in mind, kim joonmyun was the remaining one who had a higher chance of joining the x-men; provided that this interview went well } -- {` glances up from his papers at the knock, however, a smile curving his lips as he shuffles his papers, clearing his throat in favor of speaking in a clearer voice } come in, joonmyun-ah.

joonmyun

(/ he turns the handle and makes his way in slowly; eyes focused forward and a thin, worn smile on his lips. ) good morning, sir. (/ it's been six years and joonmyun is still as formal as ever -- but xavier is someone that's deserving of that respect.  the door is closed behind him and it doesn't take him long before he's standing before the desk, that thin smile of his growing a little in fondness. ) it's been a while since we met last.  you wanted to see me? (/ and, of course he did, the letter was addressed from the office of the man himself -- but joonmyun doesn't like to rush things, prefers to take his time and he sits -- stiffly -- in the chair across from xavier's desk. )

xavier

{` his smile widens at the sight of the male, nodding at the greeting as he rubs his hands together absently } good morning, joonmyun. {` returns it with ease, watching the male pad over to take a seat } yes--i wanted to talk to you about the possibility of joining the x-men. {` junki hums, amused at the way the other approaches him as he waves a hand, letting out a small laugh } you don't have to be so stiff, joonmyun -- this is just a simple interview. {` he nods a bit, lacing his fingers together absently } before we start though, do you have any questions for me?

joonmyun

mm. (/ joonmyun remembers the invitation that he received beckoning him to come to the interview in the first place, and he nods; rests his back against the chair and relaxes his shoulders -- just a little. ) i'm not -- ... (/ a soft chuckle escapes him, and he thinks that perhaps his formality is a little more stiff than xavier is used to, but this /is/ joonmyun we're talking about -- unless he's more focused on his /body language/. ) .. the wounds i received in busan still ache.  but i'm sure you know that, don't you? (/ an amused smile of his own crosses his features and joonmyun brushes a wisp of hair out of his eyes, looking low to the floor. ) ... (/ and there are several questions that he could ask -- what the job entails [traveling the world, dangerous jobs, answering to xavier and magneto only], or even why it's /him/ that xavier hand picked out of a school full of the gifted.  joonmyun purses his lips, eyes flicking up from the floor for just a moment --) -- (/ and he sighs. he knows that xavier will read those questions in his mind, and answer them accordingly; but what comes out instead is, ) what .. is this interview based on? i hardly think i've done anything ' outstanding'.. (/ because in his mind, he hasn't.  taking someone's truth and twisting it and watching them crumble is something that joonmyun is not fond of.  he's definitely nowhere near outstanding. )

xavier

naturally. {` he responds with a small shrug, gripping his fingers slightly as he waits for a question to vocally form, although the millions of ones swimming around in joonmyun's head is hard to ignore -- not that junki would want to, anyway, at the least it showcased the male's excitement for the whole thing } you are being evaluated by your mental, physical, and emotional strength. {` junki smiles a bit, understanding all in all of the boy's concerns } you need to have more confidence in your gift, joonmyun -- being able to get the truth out of someone is a more powerful advantage then most would think.

joonmyun

(/ xavier's reply is met with a small chuckle, that leaves him wincing -- but joonmyun does nothing more than keep his eyes level; assessing.  it's hard not to; he's far too used to reading people and picking up on their lies and their truths but xavier never seems to have anything to hide from him. not ever. ) ... it's not the fact that i don't have confidence. i know that what i can do, i do well.  (/ and this is a solid truth, he's known this for a very long time -- ) it's the advantage that i -- .. don't like exploiting.  (/ he feels heart heavy, eyes closed and his thoughts travel to the people he's forced truth from over the years -- through the program in advancing his skills, his mother, through accidental mishaps with other students. ) taking a person's truth and forcing it out of them -- is like having their secrets bared before you.  you probably know this more than anyone -- (/ a pause. ) i wonder sometimes how people are still comfortable around me, knowing what i can do.

xavier

{` he listens to the boy's concerns quietly, taking each and every word into consideration as he closes an eye, humming softly before he speaks } it seems that you are more concerned with what others think of you than your own capabilities. are you alright with using your gift against others? because there will never be people who are truly comfortable in the presence of other's gifts, that much isn't hard to understand, because magneto will never be comfortable in the presence of mine. {` he laughs a bit at his own words } but the issue here seems to be the fact that you aren't comfortable with using it on others. {` he raises a brow, glancing down at his papers briefly } that, i think, is what you need confidence in. {` junki smiles kindly } as i am already quite sure you know fully well how to use your gift by now.

joonmyun

(/ he stiffens.  it's not so much the fact that he's .. concerned, he knows his friends and his loved ones care for him deeply and without issue.  it's more of an issue with his mutation -- he can destroy a life by taking someone's truth and exposing it, laying it bare in front of them to see their lies and their charade and that -- that is something joonmyun has never been comfortable with. ) ... (/ but he does it anyway, because he has to --.  because this is the gift that he was given and god only knows that only joonmyun can do it.  and that's when he begins to wonder /why/ -- .  not that he hasn't done so for the past eight years he's dealt with his power on his own. ) ... (/ and perhaps, maybe, it's because of his kindness that god chose him to excel, to develop.  and that's when he opens his eyes. ) there will be times that i have to.  i know that. (/ his voice rings with clarity, shoulders slumped with the weight of the words. ) i can do it -- i /have/ done it.  .. (/ and he thinks about his weaknesses, about how he destroys and how he makes up for it by rebuilding with those he cares for. ) i might not /like/ to -- or ever be comfortable -- using it on others, but .. if i have to, i will.

xavier

{` he closes his eyes for a moment as the other speaks, pinching the bridge of his nose absently as he notes the words while simultaneously probing his head to further understand what he was getting at } the x-men isn't about /having/ to do something, joonmyun -- i am not going to force you to use your gift if you don't like it. {` junki starts, opening his eyes as he leans back, head tilting slightly } the x-men is about /wanting/ to do it -- wanting to fight for a better world. to fight to get humans to understand us. {` he pauses for a moment, slightly disappointed if he's honest } if you don't want to--if you're not comfortable--do so then, i'm afraid you're not ready to be apart of the x-men yet.

joonmyun

(/ he pauses for a moment -- gauges his thoughts, and gathers them before he begins to speak again. he thinks that somewhere, their ideals for fighting are a little different -- joonmyun doesn't believe you have to use power to win over the hearts of others. in his years at the institute, he's never been showy with his mutation and still people care about him -- this, he thinks, is fighting in its own way, too. ) i think there's a difference between your ideals and mine, perhaps --. (/ he starts cautiously; because he's not sure if this will change xavier's opinion or not -- but it's what he truly believes -- .. and if it's not what xavier wants, then so be it. ) i /want/ a better world, that's true. i'm willing to fight for it -- though, i don't believe you always /have/ to use power over others to gain it. i think -- .. i think also showing others that you're equal, even if you are different, can still be a powerful tool in the war as well. that's why i say i'll only use my mutation if i /have/ to.  sometimes subtlety is also a key to winning a war.

xavier

{` he raises a brow, amusement growing from the male's words because it sounds like a rehash of what he's been trying to get across to his students and magneto for as long as he remembered, still he shifts, head tilting to the side to crack his neck absently } i get where you're coming from, and you're right -- but there's no way i'm sending benevolent soul into a mission that can't always be solved with words, do you understand? mutants like the ones that attacked busan will not up and stop just because you would rather talk to them. {` he spares the other a look, opting to use the most recent event as an example -- they both had injuries from it, after all } and i am not going to risk my students' lives, you are /my/ responsibility. {` he presses his lips together, sighing a bit before he continues } that being said, joonmyun, i don't believe you are x-men material at the moment. {` the tone he takes up is firm, it's final if anything, because disappointed or not his mind is set } i'm sorry.

joonmyun

i didn't /stop/ and talk to ori, if you recall. (/ a trace of amusement is in his voice and he closes his eyes, leaning back against his seat. ) but i can understand your worries. (/ in truth, he's not even the least bit disappointed -- status has never really meant much to him in the first place; the fact that he was even considered for a position never really sat well with him. the events in busan were probably what gained xavier's interest, but after hearing that /power/ is what they're looking for -- willing to use it on others instead of careful thought, well. joonmyun would probably never fit into that mold in the first place. he's always been more of a thinker first, anyway. a smile crosses his lips and there's not even a trace of worry in his eyes when he simply says, ) thank you, for the consideration. (/ and he opens his eyes. ) and there's nothing to forgive.

xavier

{` he ignores his prior comment, because in all honesty junki isn't even sure as to what happened to ori -- or the other handful of mutants that attacked the city; though it's needless to say that the boy's thought process amused him and he didn't bother the slightest in correcting him; he had originally thought that the students would have all matured just the slightest bit -- or at least, see things from a different point of view (even if it was a depressing thought, if anything that sort of thing was something that junki tried his hardest to shield them from) after the city's fall but he was slightly off, perhaps -- he had lost that bet to magneto after all } of course. {` he smiles good-naturedly, running a hand through his hair briefly } then you are excused, joonmyun -- unless you have any other questions for me?

joonmyun