tw: explicit content. satoru/reader. toxic frat boy cultures, misogyny, shitty behavior in general, non-consensual filming, stalking. satoru is a hilarious mixture of oblivious, in denial, insecure, and stupid fuckboy lmao.
fuckboy satoru gojo who doesn't know what to do.
sure, you talk to him all the time. you're "friends" - acquaintances, more like - but you don't really know each other.
not like how he knows you. knows what you look like naked, how cute your little pussy is (and that you wax. the asshole in the chat gloated about how he convinced you to do that before fucking you. said it was weird for a girl to have hair down there), how awful your taste in men is.
and also how cute you are when you laugh, how you have a surprising sense of humor and a passion for your major, for reading and writing and your face scrunches up when you concentrate just like it did when you cum -
okay. okay, okay, if he keeps thinking about that he's gonna go crazy. the point is, he knows you. he knows you real well.
but he's not sure you know him.
maybe you're too polite to ask. it's common knowledge the crowd he runs with, that he's a frat boy and all around man whore.
you never seemed to look at him different afterwards. even though you dated (fucked) one, yourself, and that guy treated you like shit and oh god do you think he's like that? you don't think satoru would treat you like that, right?
that's not the reason you haven't asked him out yet, or flirted with him. you don't think he's like that asshole, right???
you don't know anything about the group chat or their score cards (virgins worth ten points. god, it was gross, actually, wasn't it?) or the stuff satoru used to do with dumb girls who thought he actually liked them-
but he wouldn't do that to you! no way! you're sweet and friendly and you look at him with this sparkle in your eyes and everything! you don't deserve to be treated like that!
satoru gojo who finds himself hoping you haven't heard anything about him. who slips in mentions in conversation that there's lots of rumors out there about him - lots of jealous people of both genders. he gets a lot of attention, you see.
you don't tell him what you've heard, but you seem to take his words at face value. smiling, reassuring him, telling him he's been nothing but kind to you -
(he still jerks off to that video of you. every night now. sometimes twice a day.)
-and that's good, but it's not enough.
something must be stopping you from seeing him as an option. even though he's complained to you once or twice about being single.
he knows you're single. asked around - people will tell him anything and everything. it's gross, actually. he hates gossip. people have always talked about him, and now, it's getting in the way of his relationship with you.
he's getting more and more disgusted by the shit they say, they used to do, in that chat. in that friend group.
he doesn't want to stay, but what if they upload anything else about you? what about what they've done already?
satoru gojo who becomes a women's studies major - that's how disgusted he is. how removed he is from his previous attitudes.
he's not like how he was before. he's not like them. he cares, now. about women, about you.
it's like penance, in a way. his good deeds, making up for all the times he wronged those other girls. he reads about feminist literature, about emotional labor and mental loads and even sexual stereotypes.
man. women have it tough. it makes him feel bad, sends a churning in his gut, that you have to deal with stuff like this - being paid less, taken less seriously, always having to do more work in the relationship than their male counterparts.
if he were with you he'd never let it be like that. satoru would treat you like a queen, a goddess. someone to be worshipped and revered and adored.
because you are adorable. and sweet, and funny, and charming and beautiful and every other word for something good.
best thing that's ever happened to him, really.
he gets your number, at least - he's taking some classes from your major, too. it's hard to help being interested in it when he hears you talk about it, the interest and enthusiasm lighting up your face when he asks you the right questions.
god, he could hear you talk forever. you're so cute when you're being all smart and nerdy and stuff.
maybe it makes sense that he can't stop jerking off to the video of you.
well, he remembers from his classes that it's not supposed to be a woman's fault when men find her attractive. but! maybe it's not his fault either!
it's just like a... pre-game. you're going to start dating eventually, and you'd be flattered for him to jerk off to you afterwards. he's just fudging the dates a little.
see? he was paying attention!
he always pays attention when it has to do with you. it's a wonder you haven't noticed yet. he sends you good morning texts, talks to you about classwork, your hobbies and stuff.
maybe you'd even call him a friend. but friend isn't what he wants to be.
not that it's a bad thing! he's not complaining about the friendzone or anything!
but no one in their entire life has ever asked to be just his friend. even suguru bowed out of it later. plus, he's seen your pussy (not that you knew about that).
anyways, he has to find some way to get... closer. to get you to want to date him.
to be honest it's weird that you haven't even flirted with him or anything. but satoru can't blame you. maybe you're shy!
or maybe, he thinks, recalling the group chat... maybe you've just been burned already.
a part of him (which has has dubbed his "inner feminist") rankles in unbridled fury at the thought. you don't deserve that. you didn't deserve any of that.
and he didn't deserve to suffer for it, either. he would never! not to you, anyways.
but he's got to find something. some way to ingratiate himself to you. to get closer. he can't just come out and say it - that would be weird!
and... and what if you say no?
of course you want him. everyone wants him. even when his own parents stopped wanting him around, they still wanted him to do shit for them. get the degree, help run the business, all sorts of shit.
he's rich, handsome, and he has so much to offer. it's not a question of if you want him. he's sure you do - but maybe... maybe you'd reject him because you're afraid of being hurt again.
that makes sense. that's why he's afraid. he's afraid, you're afraid - but the love is there! he knows it! you could be so happy together!
there must be some way to prove that he's not like that guy, he's different. the women's studies thing, they're nice, but they don't make him fuckable. they don't make you see him.
not that he was doing it just to get your attention! he was doing it because he's a feminist, now!
that's why he stays in the group chat. if that guy uploads another video of you, if he has another video (he swore he didn't, but bitches like him will say anything under pressure), satoru has to know about it.
so he can tell you. yeah. to warn you.
there's a new video in the group chat.
it's obviously you in the thumbnail. a candid recording. he only sees you in the first few seconds before he pauses it, heart racing out of his chest.
fuck. fuck, no. can he - can he really do this?
this is awful. vile. sure, he watched the first video they sent about you but he didn't know you then.
didn't know how nice your smile was. didn't know you'd show it to him if only he looked your way. didn't realize how good it would feel just to be near you.
now, he wants to protect you. get close to you. treat you right, give you the things that asshole was too much of a loser to give you.
he - he's different from those guys. he IS. he cares about you.
the video is already uploaded. he can't stop now. it's there, in the group chat, where anyone can see it.
he can't back out now. he has to go through with this.
satoru gojo presses play.
the video... it's not sexy.
it's candid, sure. it's obvious you can't tell you're being filmed. but then he catches the surroundings.
this is inside your house. the video is being taken inside your house.
he sees you pick up a scarf - a gift he'd slipped you, covertly, just a few days ago.
it shifts in a way that makes it obvious it's being held. there's a soft breathing sound in the background.
the video goes on for a few minutes until it cuts to black.
of course, your little ex boyfriend (ex situationship? piece of fucking shit lying little bitch) denies having taken it.
oh, he runs his mouth. says he's been trying to get you off his back for weeks, why would he follow you around? you're the one who was texting and calling and pining for him like a lost puppy.
(his fists hurt from clenching so hard.)
piece of shit. how the fuck would he know that you were pining for him if he really wasn't paying attention? satoru has to do all this fucking shit to win your trust just because somebody broke your heart!
he says he wouldn't date you if he was paid, much less stalk your loser ass.
(like he'd be that lucky. maybe that's why the loser didn't date you, because he knew he could never keep a girl like you by his side.)
it's not convincing. it's not convincing at all. satoru presses him, reminds him that no one would believe that bullshit after what he's done -
and then the fucking loser reminds him - who knows?
nobody. nobody outside the group chat does. no one's going to report them. they can't, not without being implicated.
you never even knew you were being filmed the first time (your first time), and how could you have?
your first time. you didn't even get off. he ditched you, didn't pick up your calls, answer your texts.
(blood pools underneath his fingernails.)
satoru had let that happen to you. jerked off to it. and now there's a video of you in your own home. a stalker.
he... he has to tell you, doesn't he?
this is too much. too violating. too dangerous. he has to confess.
he can't let this go on any more.
but something jumps in his chest. there's no way to tell you about these videos without showing you, without you asking how he has it.
you'll want to know who sent it. you'll want to read the chat history. it's a group chat, he can't doctor it or adjust it.
he can't make up some other excuse for how he knows about this, because you need to know the real reason this was sent, to find the real culprit.
showing you the video without having any kind of explanation would just terrify you. it would be cruel.
but if you find out about this, about what he's done -
what will you do? will you ever look at him the same?
will you ever look at him again at all?
his mind races. plans. excuses. diversions. the group chat, the people in it. in your room. filming you.
you. you you you you you, you who are both everything and nothing to him. an acquaintance at best. he hasn't even asked you out yet.
you, who live rent-free in his head and make his whole heart ache.
you, writhing on that stupid fucking loser's cock, so close and he wouldn't even put in the effort to put you over the edge -
satoru knows what he has to do.
but what is he really willing to risk?
