#fcetats

A month had gone by and Shana was still kicking herself for forgetting the most IMPORTANT PART of her meeting with her mystery cutie, Vince. She’d forgotten to get his number, and the name of his band had slipped her inebriated mind far too quickly. She’d tried multiple ways to look him up, but ‘band Vince’ wasn’t cutting it.

Then one day she saw a flier. 'Beso de Muerte.’

That was it.

It was him. And the concert was that night.

So she headed home to get ready, unsure of what the night would bring her. The most likely outcome? Nothing. She’d see a good show, they’d exchange a wave, and she’d go home. That was alright.

But she FELT something and she had to know if he felt it too.

Before she knew it, she was walking into the address on the flier, her hands uncharacteristically shaking. She was two hours early and was sure they wouldn’t let her in yet, but maybe if she just had... a chance to talk to him.

[ 𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐎𝐍 : aw. ]

     ❝ prove it. kiss me on the mouth-. ❞

richard siken meme ( accepting ) + @fcetats // dakota

He doesn’t understand it. Not with the way that she fails at her words, how shit with Jules left her fucked up, their webbed history and hidden hearts. What haunts her is blood-deep, sits in her marrow, and at first everything’s like, FEATHER FUCKING LIGHT with her and Dakota. It’s a feeling that’s all brand new fresh, shiny in a way that she doesn’t feel deserving of, but he makes the future seem so right that, maybe love’s just a feeling that they can skirt around until the very end. Because right now’s the fucking come up, it’s the way that, acid feels on that first moment left tripping over feelings, it’s them in living rooms dancing, hand in hand, arms about his neck, spun round, eyes rolling back while she sings him a song about the nature of God, before he makes her feel what its like to skirt her fingers through clouds.

Knowing that what they were doing, together, was a delicate thing, fragile as spun glass and driven by abandon and magic, that love was a practice in casting aside logic and sense and defying fucking gravity together. She doesn’t know how to close her words around those words, even as they waste away together, TEENAGED DEGENERATES, just hold me close my darling.

But the first time he says it, she almost acts like he doesn’t. Can’t help the way her chest stitches and panic closes her throat and she excuses herself to the bathroom with the sink left running with something that feels BRUTAL AND UNEXPECTED. It’s like that night at the carnival, the relief that washes over her for seeing Jules again and being forgiven, of her crawling through her window and kissing her in her bed as they curl up and she talks about her broken heart in simple terms, he doesn’t look like his picture, as she shifts through broken bones, and makes her second best. 

And it’s not like that, it’s not like that, but she can’t say it, can’t figure out the GOD DAMN WORDS here. She comes out, red eyes, a better smile, she thinks, and he says it again and she laughs nervous, cottontail panic flashing in her eyes like a warning, like, she’s been cornered with something she’s still terrified of, because god knows, she isn’t even sure if she’s recovered from the last fall, and all it’s done to her. 

              “ tell me how all this, and love too, will ruin us. ” 

It’s what he greets her with, his hand wrapped about her wrist, the way he holds her closer and whispers against the side of her face, because, he can’t really look at him either. Terrified and standing stiff, she doesn’t want him to feel she doesn’t like him, she doesn’t know how to say how badly this hurt the last time she said ALL THESE THINGS and everything swerved so horribly off track. Maybe it’s her. Maybe it’s her. Maybe she ruins everything she touches, and it wasn’t Jules at all, maybe it’s that she’s so lost, so gone, and while she needs him desperately, how does she say that?