#fbnw

“He..called you?” My eyes followed his hands as I muttered in disbelief, trying to remember what happened last night.

“Yeah, wouldn’t have known that you were injured if it weren’t for him. Knowing how stubborn and crazy you are, I thought you’d manage to get out of the incident unharmed. I guessed wrong.” His eyebrows furrowed as the redhead starts stitching the wound, pain prickling over and over again.

“If it weren’t for him, I would’ve been dead..” Stunned, my voice hushes to a whisper as I start to remember what happened and realizing that Godspeed saved my life. I’m grateful, really, but..

“And that’s fantastic. You’re gonna live longer now.” His topaz eyes glare at me. “I’m assuming he’s gonna report what happened to his leaders and offer you to be under their care.” He pulls out a magic crystal that had been molded to the shape of a rod, then gently tracing the stitches to close the wound a little further.

“I don’t need more people worried about me.” Frozen and staring mindlessly as he finishes dressing the cut, then tugs the dress sleeves to show the few bruises that bloomed on my skin. He puts small dots of ointments on them, before placing an ice pack on whatever contusions it could cover. “I’m dying, Kyle. People shouldn’t have to—”

"Oh shut up with the whole ‘I’m gonna die’ antic, will you?” He grumbles and yanks my arm towards him, pulling me close enough to make me look at him directly in the eye. “You will live. I’ve been studying on the cure and I’ve been making progress.”

“My sickness has no cure.” I remind him.

“Not until I’m finished with my research.” He leans in a little closer and I gulp at the sight of his topaz eyes darkening. “Alice, I swear to God you’ll be catching these hands if you go against your doctor’s medication. All I’d ask you to do is not strain yourself because your lungs can’t take too much exertion; yet lo and behold! I hear you jumping over roofs, dodging bullets and kicking the Magic Tower disciples’ asses.”

“At least I’ll die in a cool way.” I joked and the doctor rolled his eyes.

“Now you’re just being annoying. If Cradle had a Best of Patients Awards, you’d be a close second to King Lancelot.”

“What category?”

“Most stubborn patient.”

“I’m honored.” I dramatically place my free hand over my chest and smile. He rolls his eyes and loosens his grip and started dabbing the ice pack gently on the bruises, the dark purple discoloration slowly diminishing with the help of magic. It never ceases to amaze me how medicine works well with their unique resource, it would’ve been very helpful if we had something like it back home.

But then again, it shouldn’t.

“I talked with Fenrir and gave him a doctor’s clearance for you to stay at the Black Army Headquarters. I’m recommending you to rest there.” He declares and I open my mouth to protest, but he immediately cuts me off. “As much as I want you to stay in here so you won’t get stuck between the dispute of the two armies, you need to be with other people who will keep an eye on you. I don’t trust you to look over yourself because the last time I did, you nearly got yourself killed.”

“I really, really appreciate you being all worried for me and wanting to save this pitiful life, Kyle. But I’m a lost cause.” I say softly with a heart wrenching in sorrow.

“All the more reason to try and find a cure.” He says simply and attends to the bruises and cuts on my knuckles. “Alice, its been three months since you stayed here and all you’ve done is work at the confectionery and run around being chased by soldiers. You live alone and good God, people don’t even know you exist. Try changing that life, would you?”

“You sound like a mom scolding her child for not going out and play like they normally would.” I scoffed. It was ironic how this drunkard lectures me about changing lifestyles.

“Then I’d have to mother you 'til you get sick of me and just do what I tell ya.” He smiles and helps me stand. “A carriage would arrive soon and send you to the Black Army Headquarters. I’ll help you get ready.”

“Now you sound like you’re sending me off to a ball or something.” I chuckled, in hopes of making the situation lighter.

I hated all of this. This feeling of pulling everyone down just for how uncontrollably weak I am. It was exactly the reason why I moved out to London, then ultimately deciding to follow that Rabbit down a magic hole in the ground and stayed in Wonderland.

Cradle is an oasis, literally magical and far better than home. People didn’t know who I was, but they treated me fairly and kindly. There were still less than five people who knew and they were more than enough to worry me, what if I hurt them by accident if they got too close? The Great Fire of Newcastle and Gateshead was already too much for me to bear and my sickness was a curse bestowed upon me the second the first drop of blood was spilled. If I hurt the people here as well — I know I will be forever damned.

The fire.

Dear God, the fire.

I swallowed a breath as I desperately pushed the thought away. My fists curl tightly to stop them from shaking and sank further down the tub. My eyes glanced over the small crack by the door to see if Kyle would be able to see me. Confident that he wouldn’t, I let out a shallow huff, the first hot tear rolling down from my left eye and I shiver in the warm water.

For a moment, the vicious blaze flickers to life again right in front of me and my body freezes. My ears started ringing as the disembodied blood-curdling cries of help erupts in the flames. The air around me was too hot but the sweat forming on my head was as cold as ice. “You witch! What have you done?!” My friend screamed at me. His pupils hauntingly shrank in fear as he rapidly burns to ashes, another explosion follows and shakes the building.

It was an accident. I told him as he disintegrated into nothing but bones. I didn’t know what—I didn’t want it to happen.

I felt a knot tightening around my throat as my fingertips lightly brush over my wound. 400 people injured and 53 killed, the newspapers said. The horrendous explosions of sulfur at the Gateshead warehouse was a spectacular historic catastrophe in the 19th century. No pieces of evidence indicated the origin of the fire and the cause of the explosion, the two inquest juries declared. Though theories of gunpowder presence and gas pressure were considered possible, there were no points that made it true.

No one knew. The ones who did died at the very moment the fire broke out.

How did you survive the great fire? The journalists threw countless questions when I stepped out of the hospital, still bandaged and too traumatized to speak. Do you know what happened in the fire? But I can’t tell them what I knew, despite the blinding rewards the town government offered.

They didn’t know, they will never know.

A knock on the door pulls me out of my daze, “Alice, you good?” I sat up as the door slightly opened more to let the redhead peek. I nodded at him and he closes it again, leaving the air cold once more.

No one will ever know.

Once I got out and dressed, Kyle helps me pack my bags. He reminds me of my prescription and medications, and my head bobs mindlessly all the while as my body moves on its own to pack my things.

The fire. Dear God, the fire.

Closing the bag, my body halts his hand lands on my shoulder. “The Black Army.. they’re kind of a ruckus. If you ever feel uncomfortable around them, don’t hesitate to send a letter and I’ll help you find a place to stay in somewhere near my clinic.”

“If you’re worried about that, why did you send me there anyway?”

“Fenrir.. I think he likes you.” His lips twitched slyly to a smirk and my face involuntarily scrunches in disgust. “But seriously, the poor lad’s worried sick about you.”

“Just great.” I murmur and attempt to pick up the bag, but my arms give out and I dropped it back to the ground.

“Let him help you, Alice. The Ace of Spades may be an idiot but I’m sure he means well.” He somehow effortlessly picks it up, before shoving his hands into his pockets.

“I don’t need more people worried about me. The fact that you and Blanc always did, it’s already enough to make me cry myself to sleep.” I chuckle dryly as I turn away from him. My eyes move towards the reflection over the full-length mirror and meet his worried gaze there.

“Just wait a little longer, I can help you. I promised you that since you first came here.” He stares at my hand, then sighed softly. Please, please stop worrying about me.

“I’ll wait. But if I’m at the edge, don’t try to save me."My hands clenched against my skirt.

"You’re such an idiot.” Kyle leans down to put his head on my shoulder. At this distance, I could hear his quiet, uneven breathing. “I’ve already lost someone important and I don’t plan on letting that happen ever again — whether they be someone from the other side of the moon or someone from the Black Army — I don’t care. I’ll make sure that anyone under my care is safe and alive and well. Especially you.”

My body stays still, letting him spill all of his emotions and thoughts one by one. Taking note of what words made his voice crack and of what hurt him most. I realize how greedy I’ve been and that gave me more reasons to stay away. I’m hurting Kyle and it’s hurting me just as much. I’m not someone important, yet he’s putting his heart and soul and tears for a cure. “You owe me a bottle for making me sad.” He laughs dryly and a smile grows on my lips.

“That, I can promise. Drinks are on me.” He finally lifts his head off my shoulder and I turn back to him with the brightest smile I could give, in high hopes of reassuring his worries.

“Great, next week?” A soft smile paints on his face as he blinks away the tears that had formed on his eyes.