#fbdo rambles

you cannot tell me that after cameron and sloane separate from ferris at the parade and cam grabs sloane’s hand to pull her out of the crowd that they don’t continue to hold hands during their conversation about the future? it’s never fully panned down to show it but the way they’re walking that close to one another with cam’s arm overlapping hers? you cannot tell me that they’re not both nonchalantly still holding hands while both of them are yelling inside their heads to not make a big deal out of it so neither of them acknowledge it until sloane separates from cam to hug him... you Cannot

y’know despite how much i think cameron is tormented by the fact that he’s in love with ferris and sloane (for a multitude of reasons: not wanting to ruin their friendship, not feeling he’s deserving of their love... etc.) he would always choose to love them. not only because they are so unendingly lovable, not only because he doesn’t have a choice, but because despite it all, they’re the ones he would risk it for. even if it would end badly (it wouldn’t, of course), he’s willing to let them know, because he loves them enough to. ultimately, there’s a fondness in his heart that goes along with it, too. because his love is so strong, because it means that, really, truly, they are so wonderful to him. it’s instinctual, and it’s what they deserve, but it’s the expression of what he’s always known. they’re everything to him, and by loving them it proves what they are to him. 

gd there is something so lovely about interpreting the post pool scene/jacuzzi scene as something bordering on confession, in which sloane and ferris want cameron to make the first move. not only does it make sense to me given the way it plays out (consider: the subtle gazes full of something between ferris and sloane and towards cameron when he’s giving his spiel about how much the day, and subsequently how much they mean to him; but also when sloane asks “cameron, can i ask you a question?” how ferris looks at her with a bit of surprise and eagerness at what she might say, since according to my interpreted plan they’d be the one’s waiting for him, so he’s curious of if she’s straying from that plan; and of course, the light that comes over them when he says how much the day meant to him and that he’s going to miss them, both in softness but also in hope that he’s leading up to expressing his feelings, and then the patient silence that comes afterward when he doesn’t say anything more that maybe they should be the ones to break it), but there’s a mutual understanding that they know has got to be brewing inside of him, but given the circumstances they don’t want to absolutely freak him out again. (and i’m unsure if there was a blatant planning of this day to hopefully jumpstart something evident between them, i’m thinking no but the consideration does pop up as an opportune time as the day draws to a close by all three of them). ultimately it’s the film’s fault because it’s almost insane to consider that cameron doesn’t take this chance by the end, but like, heterosexuality and monogamy or whatever. but despite cameron not taking that chance, there’s room for that somewhere too, since i think despite any signs the two could give him that they share this feeling for him, cameron’s going to find a way to rationalize those signs, or be too indecisive or afraid to ruin such a solid friendship that they have. but it does make my heart happy to consider that there is both something entwined in all three of them that flickers with the consideration to let their feelings out, especially when it’s so easy to interpret the scene that way. 

i’m gonna miss you guys next year (confession of love)

okay i’m suddenly feeling a lot of fondness about a very miniscule thing in fbdo but i’m gonna talk about it anyway. i’m thinking about the exchange that cameron and sloane have during the parade scene, in which cam laments about the differences between him and ferris. the thing is, he doesn’t seem to be bitter about this at all, at least not towards ferris. sure, it upsets him, at least somewhat, but it’s more an observation of himself than anything else. rather than harboring the differences between them and having them fuel some sense of resentment, it evidently doesn’t seem to detract from the clear love he has for ferris. it’s something cam has to get out more than anything else, barely even manifesting into something he wants for himself. he doesn’t want to be ferris, he doesn’t want to have what ferris has, he just wants to be different, or at least a little more sure of both himself and everything around him. it’s never gonna make him hate ferris, because it probably stares him in the face almost every time they’re together. no matter what, no matter how much he’s aware of how different they are and how unalike he is from that wonderful, magical quality that ferris possesses, it’s never gonna fester into something more and turn into hate. and that’s clear, because moments later there’s that same fondness that he can share with sloane, that unavoidable awe that comes with him. and i love sloane’s response to him too, because she’s only trying to support him, just offering even the smallest shred of stability both in offering a potential solution and then ultimately joining him in the complete lack of. but she’s there for him completely, even in the silence and just the ability she has to listen (and then in her hugging him which not only is her being there for him physically but once again joining him in the acceptance of their clearly shared lack of a sense of direction), she’s not trying to convince him to be anyone else. she’s not criticizing this in ferris either, of course, because both of them know it to be true like the back of their hands. she doesn’t need cameron to be like ferris or for ferris to avoid being this for the sake of helping cameron feel better--she has no need to, anyway, it’s not an issue for cam either--instead, after offering some guidance, accepting the things that ultimately make cameron who he is. and this, the differences between them and the acceptance of what makes these lines clear, is exactly what’s meant to be. there’s joy in allowing these things to exist, because why would they, really, dwell on the things that they could be fond about instead?