#farawaydream

Now that I’ve finished my four year of studies (and is currently preparing for the graduation requirements), I should be deciding what I want to work as. However, I don’t really have any dream company or any specific jobs that I could think of, except being a “biomedical engineer” or “being a part of RnD department in health technology company”. Okay, I know, that’s quite specific. 

Anyway, during this quarantine period, I spent a lot of time watching variety shows, movies, TV shows, etc that my desire to work in entertainment industry came back haunting me and I know, it resulted me blogging about it, reminiscing the small moments I had throughout the 22 years of my life. I realized that maybe what I like from being an actor or the entertainment industry or even ART itself is the act of creating something. Actors work with directors and production team to create movies or shows for a group of audience. Writers produce literature for us to read. Musicians create music for people to enjoy. Dancers or choreographers make beautiful moves and etc. What these people are doing and creating draws me in but I ultimately fell in love with the idea of “acting” because we get to be someone we’re not and deliver visuals and emotions from scripts and I always wanted to experience that (what I always told myself). I remembered, I always felt the surge of adrenaline performing my act on the stage. 

However, I don’t think I would get the chance to have acting as a job. It’s not that I’m pessimistic or not trying at all but I need to consider the fact that my dad pays my tuition fee and have never approved me going into that direction. My major is “Biomedical Engineering” after all, it would be a shame if I didn’t work within that line of work, although we never know what kind of job we would land on. I do think that working in health department is another thing that I find desirable aside from the entertainment industry. Since, I don’t prefer being a doctor or nurse, I chose being a biomedical engineer instead. 

Maybe that’s also why I wanted to work in RnD even when I only just graduated from bachelor’s degree. I’m not sure if I can land myself on that kind of job but we never know what the future holds. And I’ve always let the universe present me with the opportunity and go with the flow. That way, I won’t be too resentful of what I can’t have and be grateful of what I have now. 

I know this post sounds absurd and boring, but I just need to get this out of my chest. The feeling of pursuing a dream and reaching it is inexplicable and I’ve always wanted to experience it. Acting had been my dream since I was a kid. It will still be my faraway dream, but I think I need to think realistically and move on with a new dreams and goals for me to pursue. One still need a compass to get on the right track. Right now, I don’t think I have another goals or dreams I would like to pursue aside from getting a job but I do hope one day it would come to me. Since I believe that everyone has a calling in their life. 

-Reina.