#fandom snk

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Ok. So I want to say this out loud because I'm so tired of it already. And I want to let it all out. Basically this is me trying to comfort myself. I guess if you look at the stage of grief, this is between the negotiation and acceptance stage. Depression is in the mix there somewhere. Pfft. So dramatic. Ok so here we go

So I think, I KNOW deep down Hange is dead. That they will not come back. It's a cold truth that I really really don't want to admit but seriously, I'm tired of crying.

And it was so sad too because Hange was such a beautiful soul. I wish the other characters would compliment or appreciate them more in the manga. I think there are but Hange was still insecure about their ability. They tried so hard but man! You can see how tired Hange was. And for what? For Isayama to killed them off??  I just wanna give them a hug. Ponyo style hug so bad!

And the fact that the afterlife scene may not be real or a hallucination just crushed me in such a way that I don't know how to describe. I mean technically, the scene is so out of ordinary. Isayama never mentioned it before. We never heard any of the characters saying about life after death. NEVER. So that's why it just feels so out of ordinary. And even I had this doubt that it's all a dream. But I don't want to admit that.

Because shit, please spare these people some happy ending Isayama. Even if it's an afterlife. Just this wish. This ONE silly wish. Let me have this one. I want to cling to that hope that in the end Hange was happy. That when they died, they were surrounded by the people they love and the ones that loved them. Because it makes me feel I can let go of these dead characters because I know they are in somewhere better now.

But No0o0o0, you have to go around and say SIKES! IT'S NOT REAL. HAHAHA....FUCK YOU! Like man, seriously. Why do you have to take that away? Why can't you let it be?

That's why I said it is so sad. Because if it's not real, then Hange died without ever feeling happiness. Happiness with their friends. Their comrades. I have this void inside my heart when I realized that and I don't know how to comfort myself anymore

And yeah I know there's a chance that Hange might live but I want to talk about this possibility. The simplest one. The obvious one. That what if Hange is yeah...no longer

So like to conclude (i mean it's fitting because this is technically an essay. Lol) I feel like Hange's truly gone. This is something that I want to let out. Just want to admit that yeah, Hange's dead. The end! Got to accept that.

(And here comes the bargaining part...)

But do I wish, they live? FUCK YEAH. WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT??!! Catch me jump in the 'Hange lives' train in hours. Because to be honest I'm still in denial. But sometimes I'm not. Sometimes I just want to let go, but sometimes I just want to cling on that one tiny chance.

AAAAAAAHHH 😭😭 being Hange stan is so exhausting. We literally keep going back and forth between theories and possibilities huh? This gonna drive me crazy one day! Ah, but not a single regret tho. Maybe. Eh, nope!