The Skamdom, the good parts and bad parts and what to do with it
I love Skam. The Skam fandom has been and still is, joy in so many ways. Itās amazing to meet other fans who love the show and love everything connected to it. The Skamdom has been more than a weird obsession, it has given me a feeling of family and friendship, too. I have learned a lot about myself and my own prejudices and about my identity and preferences. Skam has been an inspiration to create fanwork, I have gotten lots of positive feedback and it has helped me toĀ have fun with creating stuff again.
However, I have discovered that there are some parts of the fandom that are quite toxic. Yeah, I know, water is wet, hah. I guess itās well known that there are negative sides to all fandoms. Iām pretty new to fandom life, though, and I suppose it has taken time to get fully aware of how bad things can get. Skam has a positive underlying message, after all, and I have often thought that it āshould be too good for hate like this.ā Well, it isnāt. We all know it. Itās even possible that parts of Skam somehow ignite certain forms of toxic fandom processes, too, although I have no idea what that could be. Could it be that the show feels so real? That the characters are so young? That the show handles important issues? I really donāt know, but I would love to hear all the theories.Ā
Anyway, I have noticed that even though people spreading hate usually are a small fraction of the fandom, they have the power to do significant damage. Hate drives people out of ships, and out of the fandom. Hate makes fanfic writers stop writing and artists stop making art. Fans are being frozen out or silenced because they have the wrong opinion.This is sad, and the worst part is, that it has happened more than once.
What makes a fandom toxic, then? Why does it happen in the first place? And what can we do about it? I have tried to read up on some ideas about it and mixed it with some of my own thoughts about group processes. I wonāt pretend to know anything about fandom life previous to Skam or on earlier fandom sites, but I would like to say something about the things I do know of. The reason I write this is purely selfish, by the way. I need to understand this. The Skam fandom is constantly evolving (as it probably should) and I need to keep my own fandom experience good, and to do that, I need to get what this negativity is all about, and how to deal with it.
So, what is it about?
First of all, I should mention that Iām kinda hesitant about talking about good vs. bad fandom behaviour. Life isnāt black or white like that and I donāt like to describe processes as if they were. However, there are fandom actions that are bad, and toxic, and I think it can be useful to talk about it in the open. Just remember that Iām not trying to call out anyone here. I think weāre all more or less guilty of negative fandom behaviour.
When I start to talk about what is toxic in a fandom, I suppose it can be smart to start with what it isnāt. Well, obviously, sharing your love for something isnāt. Also, I think that fans disagreeing and discussing stuff isnāt toxic. Making arguments for what you think is a good thing, just as expressing how you feel about something, or critiquing something constructively. Open discussions keep the fandom alive. Talking is good!!! Ā
Attacking others with threats or extreme actions, however, not so much.Ā Here are some examples of what I think are toxic sides of the fandom:Ā
Possessiveness: some fans feel like they own the content they're fans of, that it belongs to them, and only to them. Fans are stalking the actors,Ā for instance, and trying to control them. Sending hate and threats to Henrikās girlfriend, is a good example. Or spreading hate about Tarjei when he withdrew from some fans and sat boundaries for them. Ulrikke has experienced a lot of hate because she doesnāt follow the wishes of some fans, as well.Ā
What if the actors or creators do some really shitty things? What if they express prejudices or ignorance or maybe they do something they shouldnāt do? Well, itās not possessive to point out that the creators or actors do shitty things. Itās possessive to try to control them.
I suppose a lot of fans can feel a hint of possessiveness at times. Like, when someone expressesĀ āI almost donāt want this fandom to grow bigger, I want it to stay our small precious treasureā. It doesnāt have to be harmful, only if the fans exclude others or act in a harmful way because of it.
Entitlement: some fans think that the creators must do what they want.Ā For example, the fans may demand a particular romantic pairing or 'ship' to happen in a show, and be furious enough to send death threats to the authors if this doesn't happen.
Everyone can get disappointed in things happening, of course, and expressing that is okay. But thereās a difference between expressing disappointment and spreading hate.Ā
Feeling superior: some fans feel superior to more casual fans, and shout loudly about it. Or they feel better than other fractions of the fandom.Ā Some fans might not feel superior, but maybe special. They have their self-concept shaped by the fact that their fandom makes them an outcast. Maybe they even feel bullied. But in some cases, they are the ones who hate on others for things they like. This can often end in fan wars (āthis remake is better than thatā).Ā
I think a feeling ofĀ āothers donāt get this show like we doā is familiar to many in the fandom and in many different groupings.Ā I canāt say that I have felt superior in any way, but
I have at least once expressed my opinions on characterization in a way that other fans found offensive.Ā
Us and them: This toxic culture of possessiveness, entitlement and feeling superior develops in so-called āinternet echo chambersā, spaces where dissenting opinions are not tolerated. This means the group has a conformist mentality and everything is about āusā and āthemā.Ā
Outsiders are usually rudely educated or just simply banned.Ā This conflict creates a sense of self and community that is tied to the in-group, the 'safe haven' of the fan community.Ā Online, these groups pat each other on the back for liking the right version of the show, or the right ship or whatever, and not only that, but having the group's particular opinions on it, and for participating in conventions, contributing art and fan fiction, and so on.Ā
Losing their identity: When people are part of a group, they often experience a loss of self-awareness. They are less likely to follow normal restraints and inhibitions and more likely to lose their sense of individual identity. Groups can generate a sense of emotional excitement, which can lead to behaviours that a person would not typically engage in if alone.
I think a lot of fans can recognize this feeling of getting swept away with some amazing ideas in a group. When it leads to spreading hate, it becomes toxic.Ā Ā
Addiction: People also get addicted to the attention and validation these online niches can give them, especially if the outside world is less friendly. That leads them to extreme in-group loyalty and extreme out-group hatred. They can get so caught up in their fandom that they stop caring about people outside of it.
And yeah, uhm. I can actually recognize the addictive part of fandom life. I need to check Tumblr and AO3 every day, for instance, as well as check in on fandom friends. I live for every kudos or like I get on the things I make. I know, addiction is maybe not toxic for others than yourself, but I still wanted to add it. Addiction can also lead to toxic behaviour towards others in the fandom.Ā
So... What to do, then?
Itās not easy to handle these things.Ā One problem is that attempting to confront toxic fandom processes results in the groups withdrawing into their echo chambers and feeling superior. I have tried once or twice to answer hate like that with reasoning but often itās mostly to sort my own thoughts on the subject (I think better in writing). I have rarely experienced to get through to anyone.Ā
Sometimes, or pretty often, ignoring toxic behaviour might be best. Confrontation may just result in circular arguments, after all.Ā If you ignore the behaviour, you're not giving it attention. Also, you can let them think what they want to think. You can block, delete, or ignore negative people or behaviour on most social media networks. I have filtered and blacklisted words on Tumblr and it has helped a lot. Thatās maybe one of my best tips. Scroll past stuff that isnāt for you. Remember the phrase ādonāt like, donāt read.ā Make the content that youāre passionate about. Talk about the things you love. Share your opinions. Focus on the stuff that makes you happy. Thatās my goal, anyway.
When should you confront someone, then? My opinion is that it can be okay to confront if they're going beyond simply having an opinion, into the world of threats, harassment, and stalking. When the stuff being said can be hurtful or discriminating, too. Then itās right to both confront and report, really.
Is this fandom stuff worth all this hassle?
I hope this long rant doesnāt bring you down too much.Ā Despite all of this negativity, I believe fandom is a very positive thing. Most fans just want to enjoy the things they love with others who love the same things. Thatās my main goal, too. Skam has been important to me and I want it to continue to be that. I want to keep the fandom as a space to share my love for the show. Thinking through these processes has helped me see a little more clearly how to do that.Ā
Ultimately, the Skam fandom is what we make of it, and we all can make it better. We can talk and share opinions and remind each other that we donāt support harassment, especially over ships or different versions of Skam. We can be decent to each other.Ā I am not saying ābe kind, alwaysā, because in my opinion that phrase was never meant to stand alone withoutĀ ābeing an asshole isnāt something you become, itās a choiceā.Ā
But yeah, thatās another discussion.Ā My point is, if we all work together, we can manage to have a fandom that is open and tolerant and spreading loveĀ instead of fear and hate. And if thatās a little too optimistic, Iām gonna filter and blacklist and stick toĀ ādonāt like, donāt readā and see if it helps.
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