#fandom problem 4490

Fandom Problem #4490:

Weird how Tumblr's standard for a "queer-coded" man is...actually liking his wife?

Thank you, finally someone said it. I'm just tired of anytime a man displays any sort of positive trait it's because he's queer or an 'uwu male wife he/him lesbian' cause god forbid they get caught for shipping something cishet. Tumblr is terminally allergic to the idea of a cishet dude existing and being a nice person. Inb4 someone tells me to just go outside and see all the cishet dudes for myself. But no, it's not so much the headcanons as it is the fans being super annoying about it and having a superiority complex about it.

The major problems with this is that so many are choosing to ignore how both fans are too insecure to admit they like a pairing between two straight characters, and they really hate to admit that they like a straight male character.

When was the last time you ever heard a fanbase go, "How can anyone look at how she treats him and see a yucky straight?" Most bi headcanons for female characters are to actively avoid putting them with male characters. Unless they're in a well-written relationship with a male character already.

Also, why should the men in fandoms accept all of this stereotyping?

And don't even get me started on canon bi characters.

Headcanons should be done for fun. Not an insistence everyone should follow them. Or else.

I’ve literally seen a post word-for-word about how someone refers to straight or m/f fictional couples as “gay” if the relationship is healthy, they both love each other, etc. And the notes were all agreeing, insisting that straight couples are only straight if there is some sort of abuse or toxicity in the relationship, as if it’s a core part of being straight. It’s such a stupid and harmful point of view in my opinion; straight couples can be healthy or toxic, gay couples can be healthy or toxic.

It’s a horrible opinion to have, both for real and fictional couples.

The best part about this post is NO ONE says the same about the opposite.

The moment a female character loves a male character almost as much, she's assumed to be ruined and lost all independence as a character by the writers.

Bi headcanons exclusively for female characters like this are to avoid shipping them with male characters. Because as we all know, that's what bi means, right?

Bi headcanons like this for male characters or both male & female characters are because fans are too insecure to admit they like a straight pairing between two straight characters.

More projection than an IMAX theater.

Yeah I feel that. It reminds me of one of my personal m/f OTPs in a fandom I'm in where they are commonly headcanoned as lesbians. I wouldn't mind it so much if I didn't see some posts about it that went "I don't trust anyone who ships them as cishet" or "EW people see them as staight? Gross!".

Like, congratulations, you made me not like the headcanon anymore.

The part about this is how men are apparently supposed to be content with having such a low opinion of them being spread all over so many fandom spaces. Unless they fall under a certain stereotype.

Yeah, it's certainly so hurtful towards women when men are stereotyped as being devoid of love unless "reasons" are applied.

I agree with this so much! I couldn't believe my eyes when people actually agreed with "how straight people and m/f ships are always toxic". Like okay this is the queer site but really? Demonising straight people won't get them respect queer people.

I actually saw it with my two eyes people agreeing that "the only straight/ m/f ship they allow and love is Gomez/Morticia from The Addams Family" (some people throw in Kanej from Shadow and Bones too as another only respectable m/f ship)

I feel like to a lot of these people being queer is just "a trend" or that queer people are a monolith. They don't realise that making them saint is also dehumanises the queer people, though in the other way than straight people. But it's still dehumanising.