#fandom dramz

But also, the thing I noticed is a bit revelatory context-wise and also it is so fucking funny that I am making the compromise of putting this behind a Read More.

CONTINUE AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION.

I don’t have a problem being upfront about stuff that I dislike, stuff that I think is bad or stupid, or stuff that I think is frankly extremely fucked-up. I’m picky and petty and the more fic I write for a fandom the more refined and specific my tastes tend to get. but that’s on me. it’s on me to read tags, to take note of warnings, to employ tools like AO3 Saviour, and when I encounter something I dislike to backbutton, gripe about it vaguely, and move the fuck on with my life.

I have a serious anxiety disorder that the NHS refuses to send me to see an actual psychiatrist to get properly categorised, but which I’ve been told has ‘elements of trauma-related stress’. I also have a history of self-destructive and semi-addictive behaviour. I have actual legitimate psychological triggers, by which I don’t mean ‘things that it upsets me to see’ but ‘things that will cause multi-day panic attacks and/or flashbacks and/or bouts of damaging behaviour’. and I am a fucking adult and it is my business to manage these very serious and potentially damaging things for myself. it is part of recovery and being able to function in society. am I always very good at it? fuck no. but it’s my fucking job, nobody else’s.

I remember when the first conversations about establishing the AO3 happened on LJ. it was in the wake of a lot of upsets about censorship and control of fan-created content, and one of the most basic principles of the Archive was always going to be that it would accept basically everything. fandom is a space where you gotta do you. did you know there was a lot of wank back in ~08/09 about using warnings on fic, because some people considered any kind of warning a spoiler? that’s why ‘choose not to warn’ is an option on AO3. the idea that fandom has to be this neatly crimped and controlled space where everyone toes a particular political line, so it fits some person or other’s concept of ‘safeness’, is incredibly new. transformative fandom- that is to say, fic-writing and fanart-creating fandom- is a place to explore ideas and desires, and given that it has always been female-dominated it has been treated as suspect and freakish and dangerous from the very beginning. but I don’t think we’ve ever engaged so much in doing that to ourselves as is apparently now par for the course on tumblr.

I was not, thank god, on either the ‘good’ or ‘bad’ lists on That Blog, although given that I wrote a 100k fic in which both main characters kill someone on screen, one of them pretends to be a Nazi and the other pretends to be loyal to Imperial Japan, and plot elements include discovering the true extent of the Holocaust, the atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, and Soviet war crimes, I’m sure I’m on someone’s shitlist for Daring To Write About Such Things. maybe just to round off my problematicness I should add that I think Yuri/Otabek is adorable, that I think both Victor and Yuuri live with mental illness and it’s the subject of my current WIP, and that the only reason I’m not all up on genderswapped femslash is that nobody ever seems to write any characters as butches. am I bad and wrong enough yet? am I going to be stoned anon-harassed to death with all the other naughty women thinking about sex on the internet? because let’s be real here, the only reason anyone makes these unfounded lists of Bad Tumblr Users is for harassment, however much they deny it.

actual safe spaces are by necessity small, closed, and tightly moderated. I’ve participated in some and they are immensely valuable. but you cannot possibly take the principles of a dedicated, purposeful space and try to impose them on a huge, sprawling social morass like fandom. society doesn’t work that way. humans don’t work that way. and it would be bad if they did. it is part and parcel of growing the fuck up and learning to live in society that you have to deal with people who have opinions you find weird, stupid, or deeply objectionable.

I think it’s a reasonable expectation that content creators like fic writers and fanartists tag/label their content appropriately, which includes stating a choice not to warn. and it’s reasonable as a content consumer to say ‘I hate x’ or ‘y is legitimately upsetting to me’ and to avoid content that involves x and/or y. but setting yourself up as the fandom morality police and calling people ‘shit’ for creating and enjoying stuff you don’t want to create or enjoy is fucked-up and idiotic.

it's not mean at all, babe! i can't speak for the good girls fandom as i dislike the show, but it's a valid criticism for quite a few frank/karen stories.

<3 haha i keep feeling mean bcs like, i’m sure i’ve written fics when i wanted to go fluffy that other people considered off base (there’s definitely fics of my own I’ve looked back on and winced at) and it’s petty as hell but i feel it so strongly lol. this is why i need pillowfort to reach the stage where they can get bigger so i can lock my petty bitch posts XD

i can’t read A N Y f/k stories honest to god. these are the messiest people on earth (in both these shows) and im SO MEAN because i love that people love the characters and the ship but im so horribly judgy and frustrated with like all the fic content i’ve read...so much of it feels like this super bland Empowerment Lit that is straight out of a corporate pink razor ad. it doesn’t feel like the characters and i can’t relate to it, there’s no emotional rawness to it and arguments end in two paragraphs and a monologue

its def weird, like i have my PROBLEMATIC SHIPS TM but most of the fandom content for it is pure fluff that often feels entirely ooc and like if thats what i really wanted i would pick a wholesome ship? but its def something i feel w ggirls fandom is grating bc they both write the fluff and expect the fluffiness in canon? and seem surprised when the show doesn't match that? its weird

oh yes very much me too--and you put it so perfectly. every time that i’ve looked in fandom and seen people lamenting that she ~betrayed him for no reason and the writers don’t know what they’re doing, when it actually hits that point in canon it’s like ‘she’s afraid for her life’?? like just bcs YOU think that he’s a woobie darling doesn’t mean that she, who lives in that fictional world, gets that luxury.

which in a way i find morbidly hilarious because (i’m really behind at this point tbf, i only watched season 1) it’s like he’s trying to treat her like someone who lives in that world, for whom that ‘boss is mad’ signal would be a message to keep their head down or try to make up for things, while her response to potential threat to herself and her loved ones is to go full nuclear to try to head the danger off at the pass in justifiable fear. like, she isn’t used to living in variable levels of life threatening danger lmao....this is not the sopranos. things keep exploding to this extent i think because they’re using somewhat different playbooks

you’re giving her presents :)

and i was in the middle of composing a thing abt the staggering lack of empathy involved in deciding that any real life actual living human being should be harassed bcs of an imaginary relationship regardless of how repugnant it may or may not be

then i remembered i’m not in this fandom, i haven’t watched this show, i have only the barest idea of which two dudes are even involved in the ship in question (keith and....other one?), and i do not actually care about this at all

soooo hard pass and imma go back to assiduously ignoring the overwatch Discourse instead