It’s really getting into the winter cold in Chicago now, which means that my condo, while it does have central heating, can get a bit chilly because it also has massive windows in the bedroom and living room.
To combat this, I’ve turned the heated mattress pad on for the cats, so they can regulate how warm they wish to be, and then put on step-in slippers, a pair of flannel pyjama bottoms with cars on them, a floral-print shirt, and a NASA hoodie over it.
I truly have finally achieved Peak Dad.
Now auditioning for people I can call
d) Your Full First Middle And Last Name Because I’m Irritated You Turned The Thermostat Up
e) “Whippersnapper” in about ten years
* These will be assigned by request or according to personality, without reference to gender