this dude here? this fine looking felt fucker? thats kermit the frog. the genuine fucking article baby, in the foam.

look at that subtle head crest where the the middle finger rests, the tasteful eye focus. oh my god, it even has dimples. this is a man i know and love. hes like a father to me. there for me since sesame street up through my rocky muppet show adolescence and into jim henson hour adulthood. this is a face you can trust. go on little man, take a seat on kermits lap and tell him what you want for muppet christmas. is that flying penguins i hear? very popular choice. anyway, onto what im really pissed about.

who, the absolute fuck, is this douchebag? lets start at the obvious. this motherfucker has some hey arnold ass skull disorder. theres no give to that baby, no indication of skull bones. looks like a middle aged dad going through a rough divorce and getting botox. kermit the frog would never. were gonna refer to this guy as false kermit from now on. like bigger luke before him, false kermit is a liar and a fraud here to take advantage of your good will twoards the real kermits sensitive soul.

it isnt enough that this impostor is out there, no, hes on everything. you go into a wal mart and try and find me even the slightest hint at real kermit. go on, ill wait. no luck? thats what i thought. obviously disney is in on it, his proliferation goes hand in hand with disneys dominance of the brand. what are they hiding from us? wheres real kermit, walt? is this some faul shit were on, are the clues there for us to find. one things for sure, this guys an impostor and must not be trusted.