#fallenboygabriel

☎ FOR A DRUNK PHONE CALL.

“— Gabe? Is this working? Are you there?” There is a pause, followed by the sound of glass shattering. “Damn it. I dropped my– ow. Fucking glass.” There is another pause, shorter this time. “I miss you. I know… I’m not supposed to be calling you. I’m not supposed to. I said–… I told myself I wouldn’t, but I just want to see you.” She sighs. “My hand is bleeding. Damn it. I’m gonna… I’ll leave you alone. I’m sorry.” There is a muffling sound, she hangs up too early, her words cut off at the end. “I’m sor–…”

♪ I’VE PUT ALL OF MY SONGS ON SHUFFLE– NOW I HAVE TO WRITE A DRABBLE INVOLVING OUR MUSES WITH THE NEXT SONG THAT COMES ON.

The cars are moving like a half a mile an hour,And I started staring at the passengers and waving goodbye.Can you tell me what was ever really special about me all this time?

There was nothing like hearing your mother shout “move your motherfucking car or I’ll get my happy ass out mine and move the fucking thing for you” while laying down on the horn, a sound that echoed all around them, as if the traffic jam would somehow magically disappear if it was pressed hard enough. Beatrice sank lower in her seat, pressing the palms of her hands against her earbuds, the volume was on its highest setting and it still could not drown out the sound. It was pointless.

“Nora, sweetie.” Her father rolled up his window, it was clear that he was trying not to laugh by the way his lips twitched when he looked at her. “Maybe you should just take a deep breath and calm down.”

“Shove it, Stephen. You know better than to tell me to calm down.”

They weren’t really fighting, she had never witnessed her parents fight, even now he leaned over to give his wife a soft peck on the lips, their relationship seemed far too healthy to be real. They must have known better than to argue in front of their daughter. Not that it mattered. She had turned out to be a bit of a disaster anyway. Her eyes moved from the two of them in the front seat to look out the window and she saw him. He had disappeared in the middle of the night, just like that, no goodbye, no explanation, no text afterwards. Just vanished. And there he was, only two cardoors away from her. She should have been mad but she wasn’t, her arm quickly lifting to wave, a wide smile breaking across her face. How good it was to see Gabe again, to know that he was alive and hopefully well.

It was the worst mistake she could have made, to blink. It was then that he vanished for a second time, this time before her eyes. Her hand fell to her side just as he caught sight of her but it did not matter, the boy that waved back was not her friend. Her eyes stung as she tore them away, now her mother was laughing from behind the wheel at something that was said but her chest felt tight, hopefully neither of her parents would look back and notice their daughter’s sudden change from irritated to defeated. She couldn’t explain why a stranger in a car had her on the verge of tears, it was only a reminder that he’d never tried to contact her. She hadn’t called him either. But she wasn’t the one to leave.

Stuck in the middle of traffic, the sound of car horns and shouts and music filling her ears, Bea had to wonder, why had he ever pretended that she mattered to him at all?

☠ YOUR MUSE HAS DIED, THIS IS HOW MINE REACTS.

She had never received news that took her breath, every time her phone rang she worried something had happened to her parents and so far her worries had always been pointless but this – this was something Bea could have never expected. Her grip on the cell tightened, her other hand falling to the back of a chair, holding herself up. It took her a good thirty seconds to remember just how to function again, lungs burning as they filled with oxygen. Another breath he would never take.

“You’re lying,” she cut off the voice on the other end. “You are lying. This is some cruel joke, a prank, this is–… you’re lying. You’re lying.” She didn’t wait for them to deny it, ending the call before they could say anything else, before they could explain. She didn’t need an explanation. She needed to know it wasn’t true. She needed to hear his voice.

Scrolling somewhat frantically through her contacts until she reached the Gs, she called the boy and waited as it rang. It continued to ring. She tried again, again, again. She got nothing, nothing but voicemail time and time again. He would answer. Wouldn’t he? He would. “Please,” she whispered into the voicemail. “Please, Gabe. Please call me back. They’re trying to tell me that you’re… they’re saying… you’re…” Dead. The word wouldn’t come out, it was too harsh, too real, she tried desperately to speak it but it wouldn’t come, nothing would, the beep cut her off and before she could stop herself, she was throwing her phone against the wall, the screen shattering, shards raining down onto the floor.

She shoved over the chair she had been leaning on, falling after it, her knees hitting the ground hard enough to leave dark bruises, she didn’t register the pain. She had never lost anyone, not so permanently, when she let people go they still got to live their lives, they still had the chance to be happy. She had spent so long pushing him away and it had not saved him, she had tried so hard. Tears stung her eyes, she wiped them roughly with the back of her hand, if she cried, it made it real. If she acknowledged this at all, it made it real. Her broken phone vibrated, she made no effort to reach for it or even look in its direction, her eyes would not listen to her mind and before she knew it her body was shaking with uncontrollable sobs.

The memories that flashed through her mind felt like they were from another lifetime. Watching movies, falling asleep on the floor, laughing until she couldn’t breathe. Pranks. Jokes. Drinks. There were too many things she associated with Gabriel. She couldn’t catch her breath for a second because just glancing around the room, she could spot twenty objects that reminded her of him. It would always be this way, wouldn’t it? There were moments in life that people could not get over. Losses. This was one of them, and the worst part was, it felt like it was something she had brought on herself, like maybe if he had never met her, he would still be there. A conceited thought, but in lingered.

2)Not only did Riley gain her old mindset back of enjoying life, she also gained a great taste for fashion. She prided herself off of the pieces she put together daily. She told Gabriel she would be at his place by 4 so they could catch happy hour at the nearby pub, trotting in with her red bottoms that a client who traveled to see her religiously had boughten her. She waltzed in, eyes glued to her phone and blabbering about her day and how badly she needed a drink. When she heard no reply from Gabe, she looked up. “What? Hello?! I’m talking to you!” 

“I know, but I can’t hear you over your obnoxious shoes.” 

Riley picked up her bag to swing it at him but rolled her eyes, yelling at him to follow.

3)”Don’t you see!” She yelled, standing up to look at the boy who remained seated, “We have too much to do here! I know that it seems like if I cared, I’d tell you to get outta here. But you outta all of us have too much closure to get in this hell!” Her fists in balls, forcing herself to pace throughout the rest of the living room so she didn’t send a slap across both his and her own face.

4) “That text you sent me the other day..” She started off slowly, “I do care about you and I know you want answers.. but you just gotta trust me. I don’t wanna relive having to pick anyone. Sure, I don’t know Sasha but it fucking hurt to know that I had to cause her pain. I’m causing everyone pain! Just be happy that I spared you! Because there could come a time when I have to pick someone over you!” She heard him begin to speak up, wanting to get him to just drop it, she pulled her hands behind her own head to keep them to herself, knowing her words might do as much damage as her hands could do.

5)She saw Bea coming up from behind Gabe, knowing that she had to get Gabe to stop talking about her before she heard him. Her eyes flickered back and forth from Gabe to the brunette approaching, thankful that Gabe caught on and she didn’t have to react in the only way she could think of, her hand almost up in the air.