#fallen prodigy

dear my past self

we're finally in a better place right now

finally we flee away from that golden cage

finally we flee away from our guardians

to be honest, we need to tone down our lifestyle, but that's a great deal

people are right when they say, living with your parents is free, cause it costs your sanity

it has been a month, and the only thing that ever saddened me was when I thought about how we were treated back then, I had never been sad about eating the same food every day, about small bed, about how wicked the air is

but i feel sad, every time i remember how things would go back then

"why are you not studying?"

when I just got home after school from 7-16, like what did he expect me to do in the time being huh? clubbing?? sex party??

"you could get better marks than this"

I've got 86 on a hard test when everyone just simply failed but me and few people

"that's just it and you can't do it?"

When I got a fractional addition wrong when i was still a kid, until now, I still have no idea where did I do wrong

and many more, too hurtful to remember

tbh I want to cry but I just can't, I had been trained to hold my cry for 25+ years, when I wanna cry my brain automatically mad

"wtf bro, that's cringe"

therefore, I stopped doing that, that's cringe

201x

Hey, my future self

it's okay to cry, now that you have your personal space, please cry as much as you can, please just cry for me since i can't do it now