#fakejefftinker

Dr. Konway East - Good evening, sir. it is a pleasure to speak with you today.

@fakejefftinker - The pleasure is quite literally all mine.

KE - Well, thank you, I will accept that.

fjt - Like the great Pete Carroll, you are a true leader or men.

KE - Oh, okay. Speaking of Pete Carroll, who were some of your idols as a fake Twitter personality growing up?

fjt - Historically, I've had only two idols: Adam Smith and Dave Thomas. Just the simplicity of those names speaks volumes to me.

KE - Can you explain further?

fjt - Do I really need to? Some things speak for themselves.

KE - Well, I'd like you to if you wouldn't mind?

fjt - I don't know, maybe I'm the only one who truly cares about the future of this country enough to look at Dave Thomas as a modern-day hero.

KE - I'm not sure that makes sense.

fjt - Dressage doesn't make sense to a majority of the population, but that doesn't make it any less difficult.

KE - I'll be honest, I don't know much about dressage, or horses.

fjt - Hey, President Barack Obama doesn't know much about negotiating, but he is the greatest salesman to ever live.

KE - Okay, let's move on to modern-day heros? Who do you look up to now?

fjt - That's simple: plastic surgeons, Tiesto and Jack Dorsey.

KE - Plastic surgeons?

fjt - Society has a demand, they have the supply, we all get Hakassan waitresses. I would say everyone is happy.

KE - Yeah, everyone is happy, what would you say makes you happy?

fjt - I would say the one thing that makes me happy in life is watching new television shows that are ultimately cancelled within 5 episodes. That and trying to Keep Up With the Kardashians. I mean, I would trade places with Scott Disick just so I wouldn't have to DVR the series.

KE - Great, well, let's catch up again some time soon. This has been enlightening.

fjt - Like Chelsea at Municipal, this has been nothing short of amazing. If I looked like that, I can't imagine I would ever get anything done with all the time I would spend looking in the mirror.