TIFU by planning a wedding for myself, my husband, and our "fiancé"
I know the title sounds weird, but I promise it gets worse.
For a little bit of background and context: I (32M) am married to my incredibly doting, amazing husband (26M) and have been for 5 years as of last month. We have both been engaged to Fiancé (24M), an old friend of his, for just about half a year now. We'd been dating for a year prior to our engagement, making our relationship a year and a half in total.
Since we got engaged about 6 months ago, I've been diligently planning the wedding.
My husband has been stressed as of recent, so I took it upon myself to handle all the details, hoping to surprise him with a day that would make his heart sing — just like he did for me on our wedding.
I've picked a venue, drafted invites for our closest friends, and even coordinated with my husband's personal assistant to develop the menu for the reception. It's been a long, arduous task, but I'm devoted to making this the best day of their lives.
Last night, my husband pulled me aside to have a "very serious" conversation with him. I was concerned, of course, because he's seemed increasingly restless as of late. So, we sat down with some warm tea and after a little hesitating and a lot of reassurances he loves me...
My husband suggested the idea of inviting Fiancé into our relationship.
That's right. You read that right.
Our fiancé? NOT our fiancé.
In fact, come to find out, we haven't even been dating!
My husband hasn't been stressed because of wedding planning, contrary to my belief. No, he's been stressed because he didn't know how to approach the topic without it coming across the wrong way.
Apparently, I'm the only one who thought we were already together!
In the end, my husband got a good laugh out of it, deeply amused by the whole situation.
I, on the other hand, am mortified.
Looking back on it all, I really should've known sooner. However, it's not as if I was hiding my planning!
We went cake tasting! I took them (individually) to the tailor! I can't even begin to imagine what my husband and our (Not) Fiancé thought was going on.
And to top if all off, his personal assistant — the one who was helping me plan? Apparently, he knew everything the entire time and was just waiting for us to figure it out. (He is now very conveniently busy with work my husband did not assign him whenever I try to speak with him.)
I don't think I'll ever be able to live this down.
TL;DR - I planned an entire wedding for myself, my husband and our fiancé, come to find out we weren't even dating said fiancé, and my husband has actually been trying to figure out how to ask if we can be, the whole time.
edit: we are asking him out this evening.
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OP, how do you imagine an entire relationship?
I do understand your perspective, if you
are coming from a place of actual care.
However, my husband and I are very
happy and deeply in love.
WAIT omg hold on is this abt who i think it is???
Oh, oops. Forgot you have Reddit.
edit: we are asking him out this evening
OP!!!! Don't leave us hanging, we need to know what he says!!
I took them cake tasting! I took them (individually) to the tailor!
Okay but what DID they think was going on?
Also props to the PA for having the chance to clear this all up & instead choosing to watch it all devolve.
According to my husband, he thought
the cake was me hinting that I wanted
more sweets while simultaneously
treating out Not-Fiancé, 2 birds 1 stone
style. As for the tailor, he says, and I
quote, "I had no idea what you were
planning, I was just happy to indulge
edit: Not-Fiancé (now actual boyfriend)
was apparently "just along for the ride
"just along for the ride and free
he is so real for that tbh.
I think we're all ignoring the fact that this presumed relationship went on for 1.5 YEARS.
Our fiancé? NOT our fiancé.
How do you do that? Genuinely, how? What about the proposal? How does one make this error???
No way this is legit. Did you just not think there was anything weird about your relationship? Like, did you kiss "as buddies" or something?
If not, how do you go 1.5 years without thinking it's weird or there's something strange about the fact that your partner has never been physically affectionate with you?
OP is either a liar or wayyyy oblivious.
Well first, kissing isn't by any means
a requirement for a relationship. But, I
just figured we were moving slow. He's
not always a very touchy-feely person,
and my husband and I respect his
boundaries. In fact, it would have been
fine even if we weren't just moving slow
and he simply didn't want any of that. As
long as he's by our sides, we'll be happy.
That's all that matters, really, is knowing
we love and care for each other, and will
always be there. Kissing is a bonus, not
this is nauseatingly sweet i hate
My husband has been stressed as of recent, so I took it upon myself to handle all the details, hoping to surprise him with a day that would make his heart sing — just like he did for me on our wedding.
this is sickening I'm never speaking to you again.
In fact, come to find out, we haven't even been dating!
I HAD TO LISTEN TO YOUR LOVESTRUCK RAMBLINGS FOR NOTHING???
I planned an entire wedding for myself, my husband and our fiancé, come to find out we weren't even dating said fiancé, and my husband has actually been trying to figure out how to ask if we can be, the whole time.
Do you just not talk??? HOW DID YOU DO THIS???? I'm never talking to you again.
??? You helped me pick the venue.
