#fahchaus

“I’m sorry, what.”

Geoff has his ah-ha-ha, isn’t  this just the funniest goddamn thing face on, that awkward little laugh spilling out of his mouth as he folds his hands on the table in front of him.

Ryan is stone-still. Jeremy is looking between Geoff and Michael like he can’t decide which one of them is going to lose their shit first. (Michael. The answer is Michael.)

Trevor has his business face on, and Alfredo is sharing fucking popcorn with Lindsay who looks like all her Christmases have come at once.

Jack isn’t even here, wants nothing to do with this bullshit which says everything about this goddamned mess.

“Michael,” Geoff says, like he has any right to pretend to be a reasonable man right now. “It’s for the good of the crew.”

Michael’s eyes flick over to Ryan, because he knows the fucker won’t be able to help himself.

“’The good of the many outweighs the needs of the few,’” he intones, like the huge fucking nerd he is.

Which, fair.

It isn’t all that often that Ryan gets handed such a golden opportunity to let loose with prime Star Trek quotes.

He deserves to have his little moment.

It still doesn’t change what Geoff is doing. Trying to do.

“You want to pimp me out for the ‘good of the crew’,” Michael says flatly.

Cannot fucking believe his ears, but this is Geoff and they’re the Fakes and this shit just kind of happens sometimes.

Geoff looking at him like what he’s just said is a perfectly reasonable request to make, like it’s not goddamned ridiculous.

And Michael, okay.

He just wants Geoff to know what he’s asking for here, what he sounds like.

Wants the others to hear what he sounds like, really let it sink in.

A beat, two, and the sound of chairs being pushed back slips into the void Michael’s words leave behind as the others literally remove themselves from the line of fire.

“Oh, shit,” Alfredo says, caught somewhere between surprise and a twisted sort of delight. “He went there. He went there!”

Geoff makes a face, unfolds his hands. (Mutters something that sounds a hell of a lot like “Well when you put it that way it sounds bad.”)

Michael’s scowl deepens.

“Michael, you know this feud has been gone on for too long as it is. We can’t afford to spend crew resources dealing with that and our rivals.”

The crew’s spread thin as it is, B-Team working overtime to keep things running smoothly and several of their allies starting to waver in their convictions. Wondering if siding with the Fake AH Crew is such a smart idea after all when their rivals are offering up sweet little incentives to change loyalties.

No one’s made a move yet, still wary of forcing an all-out war when the Fakes are still firmly on top in Los Santos, but it’s a matter of time.

Settling this stupid feud would help with that, allow the crew to focus on matters closer to home. Solidify their hold on Los Santos and remind everyone just how they’ve done so as long as they have.

And for whatever godforsaken reason Geoff seems to think Michael’s the key to ending this fucking ridiculous feud. Thinks it’s going to be as easy as that.

“Michael,” Geoff says, quiet and honest as he knows how. “You know I wouldn’t ask you to do this if there was any other way.”

If Geoff asked any of the others to do this one little thing for him, everyone would be dead and - at the very least - half of the city would be gone.

Just.

Gone.

Geoff seems to think he can reason with Michael though. Appeal to his sense of loyalty and duty to the crew. (The worst part is, he’s not wrong.)

========

The feud started long before Michael joined the crew.

Years and year and years ago, with a careless comment from Geoff (sometimes it’s hard to remember there are any other kind from him), and suddenly the Fakes were caught up in a feud with one of the biggest crews around.

Dragged into things because Geoff turned it from being his problem to theirs in a heartbeat, and Michael’s never known anything else.

The other crew is big enough to be patient about it, take their time and be thorough.

Hit them at the right moment to do the most damage. Over and over again until they ended up here, and how the hell Michael ever agreed to any of it he’ll never know.

Sure as fuck isn’t for Geoff who got them all in this mess, and now look at him.

There’s a knock on the door to Michael’s room, and a moment later Jack pokes his head in.

“Time to go,” he says, watching Michael carefully.

Looks like he’d like to point out Michael doesn’t have to do this, could absolutely kill the hell out of Geoff and end the feud that way if he’d like. He sure as hell won’t stop him, but doesn’t come out and say any of that, no.

Jack just has an expressive face like that.

========

Michael refuses to dress up for this little party, fancy shindig on Geoff’s stupid yacht.

Isn’t going to let Geoff make this into more of a dog and pony show than it already is, let him parade Michael around in a stupid expensive suit or tuxedo, no.

Not when Geoff’s the reason Michael’s taking part in some medieval bullshit.

”Only better”, because Geoff had to make things worse by trying to make them seem less terrible. Couldn’t keep his fucking mouth shut. Seemed to think he was painting a fucking silver lining on things. ”It’s not like this is an arranged marriage, Michael, it’s more like...arranged dating.”

Like that made it any better, Geoff throwing Michael at the asshole’s kid because anyone else and it would have been a disaster. Had Los Santos burning before midnight and where would they be then, huh?

No promises to be made, no binding contracts. Just a “trial period” to see how things go, and then who knows after that?

Play nice with the boss’s kid, or at least don’t kill the little bastard because that might put a crimp on things.

Fucking hell.

========

Feuds being what they are in this life, they’ve all gotten caught up in it in the past.

Little run-in here, chance meeting there.

Close encounters with the smug bastards, all high and mighty and always convinced they had the upper hand. Old roots dug down deep, too solid to be uprooted by the likes of the Fakes. Upstart crew just getting their feet under them out here and no real threat.

All kinds of regrets everywhere else because none of this needed to happen.

Didn’t need to lose Kerry to these bastards early on. Friendly smile from some asshole who just wouldn't shut the fuck up, and all these tempting little offers. Promises too good to be true, and Kerry always was that kind of stupid. Caleb and Kdin followed not long after that.

Almost lost Ryan a few years back to one of their freelancers. Kindred spirit, and more truth to Ryan’s alias than anyone realized. Geoff managing to win him back with a shiny new mini-gun and the promise of all the bullets his black little heart desired before he went wandering again.

They did lose Mica a year or so ago, and that one still stings.

The crew’s lost too goddamned many people to these fuckers, and Geoff’s always been too stubborn to swallow his pride and put an end to things.

Until now.

========

There’s a chopper flying in, guests of honor on board like their people aren’t out there in the dark in speedboats in case things go south. Circling the yacht like sharks, and Michael regrets his act of good faith in leaving his weapons behind when he hears them round the yacht’s bow, veer a little closer each time.

Ryan and Jeremy are keeping an eye on them, guaranteed to be enough firepower between them to handle things if the assholes try something.

Trevor and Alfredo are dressed in matching tuxes and smiling sweet as anything, yes sir and no sir and is there anything I can get you tonight sir? we’re got an excellent vintage aboard.

Creepy as fuck, and the only good that will come from it is knowing they’re making Geoff paranoid as hell with their little act.

Lindsay is coordinating with Jack, and Michael is -

“Michael!”

Michael is being dragged towards the helipad to greet the guests of honor. Asshole in his perfectly tailored tux and his idiot kid. Couple of bruisers bringing up the rear because this is meant to be a friendly little gathering, no need to bring the whole crew on board, never mind the speedboats out there as a reminder to play nice.

Gets to watch them pause to brush lint off their shoulders or whatever the fuck they’re doing after they get out, sweep the people gathered around with appraising looks.

Sees the asshole smile. Slow, smug as hell.

“Hello, Geoff,” he says, like Geoff’s just oh so thrilled to see him. “What a lovely yacht you have.”

There’s a pause, and all these things everyone here knows.

“I used to have one just like it.”

He did.

Damn thing went missing a few years back, something about a storm and pirates of all things taking advantage of the cover it offered to steal it. The asshole’s people forced into the lifeboats while the pirates got away, and not like they could go to the authorities about it considering their chosen profession.

Pity, really.

“Is that so?” Geoff asks, like he hadn’t known.

There’s a little stare down, dick-measuring contest, Michael doesn’t fucking know or care. Looks to the asshole’s kid who’s looking around, eyes hidden behind a pair of douchebag sunglasses and this slight curve to his mouth like this is just all so goddamned funny.

“Hey,” Michael says, because Geoff and the asshole are still playing their little game.

The guy turns his head to look at Michael, does a slow once-over before he smirks.

Opens his mouth to say something, but Geoff squawks indignantly at something the asshole says.

Throws all the shit he told Michael earlier about not letting these fuckers see them sweat or whatever out the window and  pushes into the asshole’s space, annoyed about God knows what.

Michael looks to the two bruisers, but they’re standing back, seem to think their boss can handle Geoff just fine. Jack and the others are doing much the same, and -

Michael stiffens as he feels fingers wrap around his wrist. Looks at the asshole's kid who is still smirking.

“Maybe we should leave them alone?” he asks. “They could be at this for a while.”

That  -

He’s not wrong.

Everyone else is so focused on Geoff and the asshole they don’t even notice when Michael and the asshole’s kid slip away.

========

This far out, they can actually see the stars.

Faint pinpricks of light glittering up there all pretty and shit.

Michael lets the asshole’s kid pull him past the others towards the back of the boat. Watches him when he releases Michael’s wrist and goes to lean against the railing to look up at the damn stars.

“So,” he says. “That went about as well as I thought it would.”

Michael sighs, because given Geoff’s involvement, yeah.

He joins the idiot at the railing. Watches the speedboats in silence for a long moment, before he loses interest and glances over at the idiot beside him.

Stupid hair and ridiculously expensive designer clothes. Goddamned douchebag sunglasses at night and this relaxed slouch to him despite everything.

They can hear raised voices somewhere behind them, Geoff and the asshole’s, and it doesn’t seem like they’re about to come to an understanding anytime soon which is pretty typical for them, actually. Nothing new there.

“This was the best idea you could come up with?” Michael asks gesturing between them, because fucking Christ.

A goddamned kid could have come up with it.

There’s a quiet little laugh, the idiot turning his head to look at Michael and a stupidly fond smile on his lips.

“Well it’s not like anyone had a better idea, Michael,” he says, accent twisting Michael’s name into some bastardized version of itself. “Best I could do, really.”

Planting the seed of an idea in the asshole's ear, letting it grow on its own until he and Geoff batted the world's stupidest plan around until it took root. Made them think it was such a brilliant fucking plan, that there was no possible way it could go wrong. (Tempting fate in the process, but when haven't they?)

Michael watches him push his sunglasses into his hair, gold catching the moonlight.

“Besides,” the idiot continues, and there, there is that little spark of mischief that's caused Michael so much goddamned exasperation over the years as he flashes Michael a little grin. “’S pretty funny, innit?”

========

Geoff split from his old crew just about a decade ago and took Jack with him. Used the weight of his reputation and everything he learned from them to build up his own little crew.

Did alright for themselves and careful who they recruited because there are all kinds of assholes here, and some are worse than others.

But then Geoff got stupid, or maybe he always was.

Said some shit he shouldn’t have, got a little cocky and suddenly he’s in some stupid feud with one of his old crew members.

Worst of the bunch because Burnie's goddamned bastard.

Knows which buttons to push to get Geoff reacting without thinking, saying the kinds of things he’d regret later.

Pulling the rest of the crew into the whole mess because of course he did, and goddamn had that been an experience for Michael when he joined. Hit the ground running only to realize how unbelievably stupid the whole thing was.

Realized there wasn’t anything to this feud he’d heard rumors about for ages before Geoff approached him about joining the Fakes.

This thing that had been going on for years by that time, had all of Los Santos waiting and watching and fucking clueless about everything.

No one seeming to notice that for as long as the feud had been going on, the kind of people involved. (How quick both crews were to take care of their enemies, the way they’d work together against a larger threat.)

A hell of a lot of property damage and shit going missing like Burnie’s yacht, but nothing unforgivable

This slow bleed as Burnie and his people wooed some of theirs over to their side with the promise of better opportunities and whatever else while Geoff scowled at the fucker.

Let them go because they’d just stagnate in Los Santos if he didn’t. Knew they deserved better, but goddamn had he been annoyed at Burnie for being right about it every fucking time.

And then Gavin had shown up, Burnie taking him under his wing as his protégé  and things had gotten complicated.

The little shit is too curious for his own good, kept poking and prodding at the Geoff and his crew, and fucking latched onto Michael when he came along.

Not put off by Michael and his everything, coming up with the stupidest plans for the two of them to oh so conveniently run into one another. Make it look like they were doing their part to keep the feud going while living some bizarre Romeo and Juliet life on the side after he broke Michael down with his goddamned annoying persistence.

Always there, dumb little grin and stupid face and his everything. Michael the kind of asshole who was defenseless against all of it when it came down to it.

Slipping away when the others weren’t looking to trip into one of the idiot’s little traps, coming up with schemes of his own to catch him.

Stupid fuckers, both of them, but Geoff pouted whenever one of them didn’t at least pretend like this “feud” of his was serious business. Easier to humor him than try to apply logic to things.

========

Gavin’s grinning at him because he knows how annoyed Geoff’s feud makes Michael. The lengths they all go to because of it.

Inches a little closer, his elbow nudging Michael’s.

“They’re going to figure it out you know,” Michael says, trying to hold on to his scowl. “You’re kind of shit at this.”

Gavin chuckles because they both know he’s not even trying. Thinks the whole thing is as ridiculous as Michael does, but unlike Michael he also thinks it’s hilarious.

Two of the most powerful people around engaging in what amounts to a playground grudge.

“Yeah?”

Michael thinks about it for a moment. Thinks about Geoff, and Burnie, and the way they’ve let things go on as long as they have. The way everyone seems to know about Michael and Gavin except for the two of them, because as smart as they are, they’re also amazingly dumb sometimes. Blind about shit they shouldn’t be.

Bought into Gavin’s dumb plan about bringing their crews together like a pair of kings marrying their kids off, what the actual fuck. (Actually thought Gavin’s plan to end the feud was a good one. Like he hadn’t just stolen it from bad romance novels.

“Alright, maybe not,” he mutters, because Jesus Christ.

========

It’s a little strange seeing everyone together like this. No paintball guns or pellet rifles in sight. No clever heist or supposedly diabolical scheme in play.

The speedboats anchored just off the yacht’s stern, everyone aboard for the celebration. Toasts to the end of an era, a long and bloodless feud started by idiots.

“I’m a little worried by that,” Gavin murmurs, gesturing with his drink to were Ryan and Meg are talking, Mica and Ashley headed their way, and there’s no way that ends well for anyone. “Doesn’t seem like a good idea.”

Michael snorts, because that’s a bit of an understatement.

That’s a recipe for disaster right there, all the murder friends together in one spot.

“You should be, this is all your fault,” Michael says.

It really is, and Michael's trying not to look too happy with it all because Gavin's ego doesn't need the boost.

========

The good news is with the feud settled, Michael and Gavin don’t have to sneak around anymore when they want to see each other. Give Geoff and Burnie the flimsiest excuses, watch the others around them choke back their laughter and give each other knowing looks.

The bad news is -

“What?!”

The others are quick to rat them out, let Geoff and Burnie know about their whole forbidden romance because that’s the kind of people they are.

Tight-lipped when it comes to anything like crew business, goddamned chatty about anything else at the slightest provocation. (In hindsight, it’s a miracle word about the two of them didn’t get to Geoff and Burnie before now.)

Michael pinches the bridge of his nose as Geoff sputters, all indignant about being kept in the dark like this. Like he wouldn’t have been an asshole about things if he’d known.

Knows Gavin is about to start some shit because he loves riling Geoff up, and puts a hand over the idiot’s mouth. Glares at Geoff who is pointing an accusing finger at him like this is one of those terrible shows he loves so much.

“Look, asshole,” Michael says. “You want to mke a big deal about this? How about we talk about your Thing with Burnie while we're at it?”

Everyone knows about his Thing with Burnie. Couple of morons who just can’t apologize to one another over an insult years and years ago, but goddamn can they -

“That’s different!”

Geoff being a hypocrite is nothing new. Geoff being a hypocrite while Michael and Gavin are trying to have some quality time together is annoying as fuck.

“Geoff, fuck off,” Michael says, ignoring the way Gavin’s laughing himself stupid next to him.

Geoff blinks, like hes just realizing what he barged in on, and his face goes through the various stages of utmost suffering when it finally processes for him.

“Oh, God,” he mutters, sounding horrified. “Oh God.”

Michael grabs one of the pillows off the bed and throws it at Geoff, which seems to be the right trigger to finally get him moving, mumbling under his breath as he shuts the door behind himself.

That’s...that’s going to be a Talk in the near future, he just knows it, but for now -

Michael looks at Gavin. The stupid grin he can feel under his hand and laughter in Gavin's eyes because of course he thinks this is funny. Little idiot Michael's so far gone for he'll go along with whatever stupid plan he has.

"Idiot," he says, stupid soft and fond as he leans in to kiss him again.