One of my fae contacts was willing to let me interview him and share some information (under certain conditions that I’m adhering to). I asked around the spirit worker communities I’m in for questions to ask during the interview, and what follows is a summary of what he told me in response to those questions. These are not exact quotes, but my interpretations of his answers and added information for context! A lot of the questions and answers are about fae in general, but it is useful to note that he is a noble member of the Unseelie Court.

How do you get in touch with fae?

If you start doing anything related to magic in your area and it becomes noticeable enough or if you start interacting with the natural environment around you, usually the local fae will have some kind of awareness of you - of a greater or lesser degree depending on how relevant and noticeable you make yourself based on your behavior. So if you are doing extremely big spells, lots of intense spirit work, or landscaping - you’re definitely going to be on local fae radar. They’ll know about you, but may or may not interact.

For whatever reason, if you really want to get their attention, asking for it is enough - although they may or may not be interested in responding. By asking for it, I mean leaving offerings, doing a ritual to contact them, etc. If they do respond, make sure you know what you’re getting involved with!

Why they so rude?

Yes, I actually asked this question... and basically, most of the behaviors humans interpret as being “rude,” the fae doing them doesn’t consider them rude. It’s a classic case of cultural differences. Fae have their own ideas of what is rude or not, and this may or may not overlap with the human ideas about it. If you do choose to interact with fae or must deal with them for whatever reason, try to think from their cultural logic. Seelie and Unseelie aligned fae each have their own sets of rules about what is normal and appropriate. 

I haven’t worked with Seelie fae enough to know, but Unseelie fae tend to regard humans and other mortals as extremely inferior to them. Fae are immortal unless killed, so they live much longer than humans and have more time to learn and develop their knowledge-base, skills, and intellect. Fae are also inherently much more magically talented than most humans. So to an Unseelie fae (and to all fae to an extent), treating a human as inferior and as rather worthless is natural and expected. Basically, they are “rude” because its their nature and culture to be that way toward humans. Think of it how humans treat animals - we tend to see ourselves as intellectually superior and able to do much more and live longer, so as a species we don’t usually treat animals in the same way as other humans even if we grow fond of one as a pet. Humans are viewed in a similar kind of way to fae.

What is the basic etiquette humans should have with humans and common faux pas humans make with fae?

Almost every text you’ll ever see about interacting with the fae will advise you to be polite to them. This is paramount for your own safety. Whether you are dealing with Seelie, Unseelie, solitary, or some other kind of fae it’s in your best interest to be as courteous, kind, and polite as possible. The average fae is inherently more magically powerful than the average human, and they do not value human life in the same sort of way that humans don’t value the lives of animals the same way they do another human (see previous question). If your wording and attitude when approaching them has undertones of subservience to them and a huge amount of respect, they’re much more likely to be willing to work with you. 

However, if they get impatient with you, you get disrespectful, or even worse you don’t hold up your end of a bargain or return a gift or favor then you’ll quickly get into hot water. Unless you’re willing to stake a lot that you have the magical and spiritual power to face off with a fae, it’s not really a good idea to try to banish them if things get sticky. Always apologize even if you don’t want to or don’t feel like you should have to and offer to rectify the situation. That’s really the best you can do if things go south! It’s very difficult to outsmart them, as many fae have lived for a ridiculous amount of time longer than you and are masters at trickery and deception.

What are good offerings and gifts to give fae?

If you are in contact with the fae who you want to give offerings to, you can always ask them as it may depend on their particular species and personality. Generally speaking, however, fae tend to like sweet things, pretty things, and valuable magical items. So the usual suggestions of cream, milk, honey, and shiny or glittery things are all safe bets (so long as you aren’t leaving anything outside that’s littering or leaving trash in nature). If you leave an offering out, make sure it’s biodegradable! Also, you could gift an enchanted or magical item of value if you’re willing to give it up. 

Just because you don’t hear from local fae if you give an offering doesn’t mean they didn’t receive it or like it, it just means that for whatever reason they decided not to respond by communicating with you. However, it is very difficult for fae not to reciprocate so you will likely receive something in turn from them without even realizing it.

Why do some fae get annoyed or seem jealous when you take on a protective approach to nature? Why do some fae seem to challenge me when I get involved with nature?

Think about it this way. There are nature spirits - i.e. tree spirits, animal spirits, wind spirits, etc. - of natural phenomena in the world, and the fae are a completely different set of spirits that often live amongst those nature spirits and protect them since they are a part of the same habit environment and interconnected with each other. So if you start interacting with nature spirits or spending time in nature, then you’re also under the fae domain whether you like it or not. 

So looking after and protecting nature is generally appreciated by fae, but it all depends on how you go about it. The fae see themselves as in charge, so if you come in and start acting like you’re in charge, they won’t all take too kindly to that. Like if an animal comes into your backyard and starts pulling out the weeds or chewing on your flowers, you’re going to want to make that animal get out of your backyard. That’s why many gardeners leave offerings for the fae asking them to look after their garden - from the fae’s perspective they really should be asking for their blessing to be gardening at all.

Whenever you’re in nature or working with nature, remember to acknowledge that the local fae consider themselves in charge and look for signs of whether they are happy or not with what you are doing in their territory. If you see it as your territory and overstep your bounds in their eyes, you may receive an unwanted challenge or not so pleasant messages that you are unwelcome. Unfortunately, I think this is fairly unavoidable.

How accurate are the myths regarding changelings?

The changeling phenomenon is real, but it’s not something that happens at random. First of all, the change is not that the human baby’s body is replaced, instead when this happens the human soul is taken away to the fae realm and a fae soul is left in its place. Sometimes human incarnate fae are changelings.

In general, fae will do this souls swap for one of two reasons. The first reason is that humans have asked a lot of fae without returning the proper favors or offerings or have done something really awful that offends the fae, in which case the changeling happens because it is about fufilling what the fae sees as an owed debt. I’m not sure what Seelie fae do with these human souls, but Unseelie fae sometimes eat them or make them slaves in the fae realms. 

The other reason a changeling situation may happen is that a human is born with extraodrinary magical or intellectual gifts that the fae want. In this case, the human soul made be made a court servant. Some Unseelie fae (particularly nobility) will eat these human souls as a delicacy to obtain their magical gifts and knowledge.

Have any outsiders been stealing resources from the Unseelie Court territory? 

Not in any significant ways to the knowledge of the fae I spoke with, but he said that perhaps local common fae would know better of small issues regarding this or not. I didn’t find out any specific information for this question.

If you have more questions you’d like me to ask, my contact may not be willing to share but I’m more than happy to try and ask him! Just let me know in the comments or in your reblog. I hope this information is helpful! Remember that all this is UPG based on my interview with this one particular fae in addition to my own experiences/knowledge of the fae.

~ Mod Fire