#fadoublegot

I am about to start my first tour for my debut solo show ‘FADoubleGOT’.  It’s a show I have been working on since my degree. It’s crazy to know that I graduated in July 2015 and I am already going on tour. I am so excited and so nervous at the same time. You would think that right now,  I would be rehearsing like crazy! But the thing is, I’m not. Maybe that’s because I have performed the piece before. But still, many believe that rehearsal is good. Yes, of course rehearsal is good. However, it also depends on the type of work one is going to perform. Since FADoubleGOT is autobiographical, I find it hard to rehearse the stories I tell.

Even with an outside eye or mentor present, rehearsal just isn’t for me. I need the nerves and everything that comes before a performance to really commit to it. I can never put my all into a rehearsal. Many people have suggested or asked if I have a director and it’s something that really irritates me! It’s my first solo show and I think it’s important for me to learn through things by myself. And that’s not to say I will never work with a director someday, but I don’t believe that a director is the key to a piece of work being successful. But unfortunately, it does seem like a lot of people think that’s the case. I have seen so many pieces that have directors and some of those pieces were terrible, some were great.

All I am doing at the moment, is going through my lines and marking things. But that’s it. Another thing I have tried during ‘rehearsal’, is trying to find different ways of telling my stories, but something just didn’t feel right about it. I want to tell those stories to my audiences as if they were friends of mine. I don’t like the idea of raising my voice at different levels and random rhythms - just to keep an audience engage. I believe if the content is good, the audience will stay with you.

I have discovered that when getting critique/feedback off of people, it’s important to make sure the person is coming from a similar background to yours, or completely understands the type of work that you’re trying to make. It’s also important to note, that what those artists/makers are looking for within a performance, other audience members won’t even care about.

I am not an actor. So, I don’t have the training that most have and I am kind of glad that I don’t.  I personally don’t believe in rehearsed emotion. And finding that emotion within rehearsal, so that way I can tap into it whilst I am performing. Some may disagree, and that’s okay. I am happy for my views to be challenged. However, it’s also dependant on what type of work it is. I guess this conversation would be different if my show was a traditional theatre play. But it isn’t. Even though, people still continue to call it a ‘play’.

I just don’t think rehearsed emotion is fair on the audience. Because if I cry during my show, I want those tears to be sincere and not rehearsed. Some may say that it’s about having emotional availability and you’re really committing to the performance, I would say that it’s fake. Especially, if you continue to keep doing it over and over again, both in rehearsal and during a live performance, it will eventually lose substance. But then again, it’s up to the individual and what they prefer. It may also have to do with the person’s background - where mine is spoken word poetry and live art. And I am assuming that the majority of people that may disagree with me would have a background in theatre.

My class has been asked to submit an image, title and 100 words to help promote our performances for Lift Off Festival 2015, for the second year Performance students, who will be helping us third years with the festival. The second years will be responsible for creating the brochure for the festival.

Above is the image that I have chosen. It seems quite dark, but, I wanted to focus on the concept of pride. “In his pride the wicked does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God.” (Psalm 10:4 NIV) The greatest story in relation to pride, is the story of Lucifer. Therefore, I looked for an image of a fallen angel to symbolise me. Since my piece focuses on the discovery of pride, I instantly thought something like this image would be fitting. FADoubleGOT showcases the journey of me discovery my pride and then it eventually getting the better of me.

“How you have fallen from heaven, O star of the morning, son of the dawn! You have been cut down to the earth, You who have weakened the nations! "But you said in your heart, ‘I will ascend to heaven; I will raise my throne above the stars of God, And I will sit on the mount of assembly In the recesses of the north.'I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will make myself like the Most High.’” (Isaiah 14:12-14). This quote shows Lucifer’s pride getting the better of him and because of this, it led him to having some consequences and being cast out of heaven and down to earth by his fellow archangel Michael.

The other inspiration of using this image was because, I feel that there is an abundant of religious people who assume that all LGBT+ people will be going to hell and that they won’t be because they’re straight. Just because people are LGBT+ and not seen to them as “normal” or what God envisioned when created man and woman. The image I have chosen embraces the idea of this. If I’m going to hell, like some religious people say I am, why not embrace it?

Summary:

FADoubleGOT

Inspired by Black LGBT experiences, this autobiographical piece focuses on the ups and downs of pride and self-loathing. And beginning the journey of finding a place where one shouldn’t be afraid to celebrate their individuality. Embracing everything that has been thrown their way. Wearing labels without shame. 

Contains strong language, drugs and sexual references.

What Are Fallen Angels?

https://carm.org/what-are-fallen-angels

(Accessed, March 2015)

Pride is a Sin

http://www.sharefaith.com/guide/christian-principles/humility/sin-of-pride.html