#fade nerds

“That is your mother and sisters with you?”  

“Yes, Tess is the older one and Meredith the younger.”

“Your mother has your eyes.”

She laughed, “Usually it’s said the other way around.”

He lifted it closer to his face, fingers tracing along the edge of the glass, “I have never seen such a detailed painting.”

“It’s a picture not a painting.”

His eyes shifted to her, “A picture?"

“Uh yeah it’s...,”  She thought for a moment, “I admit, I don’t know much about exactly how photography works, but basically I think it has something to do with mirrors.  Reflections imprinted onto film.  It’s like capturing and freezing a moment in time so you can look at it later.”

“That is...,”  He put the picture back and his eyes went to over the others, “All of these, this is truly what you looked like in those moments?”

“Yes, well sort of.”

“You are so happy.”

Something in the way he said it, a wistfulness and resolve to his tone, made her nervous.  She hurried to ease whatever had come into his mind.  

“Smiling for photos was a rule.  You have to look happy in pictures, even when you’re not.”

He looked unconvinced, eyes going back to the first picture, “You look truly happy, lighter.”

“I was a kid.  Kids are like that for the most part.”  She smiled, “I mean, when your biggest worry is if you’re going to have cheerios or frosted flakes that morning, the world is fairly straight forward and easy.”  At his puzzled glance she added, “It’s cereal brands, breakfast food.”

“Ah.”  He looked over the grouping of pictures once more, “You don’t seem to have any of you when you are older.  I would ask if age restriction is also a rule to this, picture, but your mother is in them and your older sister.”

She shifted, a hint of old pain stabbing at her, “We moved.  I haven’t been in this house since I was eleven.”

Solas straightened, turning to her and reaching out to brush his knuckle along her cheek, “Will you show me the rest of your home?”

Her eyes lifted to meet his, “You don’t seem very surprised.”

He chuckled, leaned in to brush his nose against hers before he kissed her light and teasing, “I am not, only because I have come to expect a constant flow of unexpected from you.”  He pulled from her.  His hand left her cheek to draw a path down her shoulder and arm till his fingers twined with hers, “Besides, I knew you were capable.”

She moved up to her tiptoes to place a quick kiss on his jaw before she gave his hand a gentle tug and began showing him around.  At first he remained reserved, but it was not long before his curiosity won out.  Then he reminded her of a kid at Christmas morning with each new discovery he made.  

It was simple things too, like he was absolutely fascinated by the toilet and shower.  Plumbing in general was of great interest to him, and she couldn’t blame him at all, plumbing was one of the things she mourned the loss of herself.

They moved through the house slowly because of his inquisitiveness.  Not that she minded.  It was nice to see this side of him.  Even with her he always tended towards reserved, stoic, it simply was part of who he was.  So, to see him like this, wide eyed and full of excited wonder, was a true treasure to her.

When they arrived at the office, he immediately went to the shelves, fingertips brushing along the various titles as he read through them.  Emma leaned against the doorframe and watched him.  She tried to imprint the little details of him, the way his head would tilt just a hint when something caught his interest or how his ears would occasionally twitch at some sound only he heard.  The grace of each movement as though every breath of his was part of some intricate dance.

Then he spoke, head still looking down at whatever book he had in his hands, “It would appear you were not always lacking in a desire for sweets.”

Her brows knit, “What are you---”  Then it dawned on her, there were family photo albums in here, and if the books were all filled from what she remembered then…  She hurried forward, “You do not need to be seeing those.”

He turned as she neared and, just as she made to grab for the photo album he lifted it high over his head, “Why?  This is nothing to be embarrassed about.  It too is fascinating.  I have never seen so much color on a cake, nor on such an adorable little face.  Tell me, did you smash your whole face into it or bring up handfuls with your little hands?  I wish to envision the scene correctly.”

Despite knowing it was ineffectual, she tried to reach up to grab the book from him, “Solas.  Really, this is unfair.  It’s not as though we can make it even by me seeing embarrassing pictures of your childhood.  Now give it here.”

He chuckled, “Why be embarrassed?  You were rather endearing.”

She kept reaching, practically climbing up him in her attempt, “Were?”

The arm that wasn’t holding the book up slipped around her waist, forcing her to still against him, “Endearing would now be far to understated a term.”

He dipped his head and pressed his lips to hers in an easy kiss.  When he pulled away it took her brain a moment to come back from the feel of him on her mouth.  Then she frowned and continued reaching for the album.

“You can’t woo me on this, wolf.  Give it.”

“Feel free to climb me for it, cat.”

She opened her mouth to speak and then realized what she should have from the start.  This was the Fade, her part of the Fade.  If she didn’t want the book here then she could simply will it away right?  Her mouth closed and she gave him a mischievous smirk.  One of his eyebrows quirked up at the expression, but before he could speak the book was gone from his fingers.

He looked up at his now empty hand and then back to her, “Now that is unfair.”

“Hardly anymore unfair than your height.”

He brought his hand down bringing it to her waist with his other, “Bring it back, vhenan.  I was not done.”

“Ha, no way sir.”  

He hummed in the back of his throat as his fingers sought along her sides.  “Please.”

“Nope.”

Then his fingers found the flesh of her hips, they dug in there massaging, she squirmed against him, “Bring it back.”

She tried to wiggle away from him as his fingers somehow managed to find one of the few areas she was ticklish at, though she had no idea how he had guessed at the particular area of her hips.

“I won’t.”

“Very well, you leave me no choice.”

His fingers increased their movements, holding her close even as they mercilessly tickled her.  She struggled, but in the end he was stronger than her.  All she could do was squirm while she broke into a fit of giggles.

She spoke through her laughter, hands against his chest, “Solas, stop.”

“Do you surrender?”

“Never.”

“Then I shall not.”

He scooped her up and, before she could even react, she found herself perched on the edge of the desk, pinned there as his fingers continued their merciless journey over her.  As she laughed, he dipped his head to her throat, breathed against her there, then nipped at her ear.  It was only a few moments then before tickling turned to something else.

The breathlessness of her giggles shifting to another kind of breathlessness as his mouth trailed along the skin of her neck.  Her fingers now gripped onto his shirt as he tasted her.  His fingers stopped their tickled and instead began to caress, moving along her till they slipped under her shirt, brushed against her skin.

He nuzzled at her, hands continuing their path up her sides, “Emma, I---”

Then as abruptly as he had started, he stilled.  Pressed as she was against him she could feel his muscles stiffen for a beat before he moved his hands out from under her shirt.  Her eyes fluttered open to look at his face just as he pulled his mouth from her.  His eyes were on the door to the room.

As he straightened, Emma followed his gaze to find Amynta standing in the doorway.  Solas stood tall now but kept a hand on her, kept himself between her and Amynta.  Though, it didn’t remind Emma so much of him guarding her, more like a child who was concerned a parent was going to take away a favorite toy.

Amynta’s eyes went to Emma and she smiled, “I’m sorry to interrupt.”  Then her eyes shifted back to Solas, “Hello Solas.  It has been a while.”

“It has.”

“I confess when I had thought of ways we would meet again this did not cross my mind.  Though I suppose I should not be entirely unsurprised.  Old habits.”  Then, Amynta’s eyes went to Emma and she shifted, “I apologize I did not mean---”

Emma smiled and hopped off the edge of the desk, “It’s fine.  He has already hinted that he was more… rambunctious in his younger years.  I don’t mind, his past is his past.  He is---”  She stopped herself than, unsure if being so possessive as calling him hers would be appropriate.

Solas glanced at her, leaned down to kiss her forehead, “Yours.  I am yours, vhenan.”  Then he straightened once more and looked at Amynta, “Amynta, I believe you and I should talk.”

“If you wish.”  She clasped her hands together and gave a slight nod to Emma, “Take a night to yourself, child.  You deserve a bit of peace.  We will work on your training more tomorrow.”  Then her eyes went back to Solas, “I will meet you in your study.”

With that, she was gone.  Solas turned back to Emma, brow raised, “Training?”

“Oh.  Yeah, I suppose I forgot to mention that.  Amynta is teaching me some basic fighting techniques.  Just in case.”

“Ah, that is good.  She is a skilled fighter.”  He reached up to place his palm to her cheek, thumb brushing along her cheekbone, “Was she the spirit that helped you when you healed me?”

“Yes.  Does that bother you?  You two seem...”  she paused, “Well…”

“No, I am glad.  We were friends once and even now, I would be a fool to be upset by someone so skilled offering you their aid.”  A pause, “Has she told you about...,” another hesitation.

“About your history together?”

A release of breath, “Yes.”

“Not really, just that she knew you and it was a long story.”

“It is complicated.”  A slight knitting of his brows as he added, “We were never romantic.”

She laughed, “She told me that already and even if you had been, I meant what I said about your past.  What matters to me now is what time we have together.”  Then her expression turned serious again as a thought crossed her mind, “She didn’t… betray you somehow did she?”

“As I said it is… complicated, but she would not harm you.  She has offered you her protection and aid, she will not go against that.”

“It’s good to know I was right in placing my trust with her.”

She felt a slight twitch to his fingers, the smallest hesitation before he spoke, “Yes, you were.”  He bent his head towards her, “You do not mind if I go speak with her now?  I know we had intended to---”

She brought her fingers up to his jaw, “I don’t mind at all, dearheart.”

A smile before he pressed his mouth to hers, breathed her in with his kiss, then pulled away, “Ar lath ma.”

And he was gone.  

She took a deep breath and looked to the shelves around her.  It felt as though there wasn’t that much time left till they would need to be awake.  Had there been more, she might have tried to explore the Fade a bit, let the spirits show her something new.  Instead, she pulled a book from the shelf and settled into one of the plush reading chairs.  She tucked her legs beneath her and allowed herself to try to focus on the book.

It wasn’t a very successful attempt all in all.  Her mind kept wandering to what Amynta and Solas could be talking about.  Not that it was any of her business, but that didn’t keep her from being curious about it.  The whole thing between them was strange to her and the way they’d greeted each other only served to make the curiosity about their past stronger in her.

On top of that, she kept feeling out into the waking world.  It was comforting to have him so near.  To be able to feel his body against hers still.  

She had no idea how long this struggle to read went on for.  Time in the Fade could be different from time in the waking world, but she felt when he woke.  First she felt it in his breathing, the overall stirring of him next to her.  Then she felt it in the soft brush of lips upon skin, fingers curling in her hair as others feathered along her skin, lighting a trail of electricity in their wake.

When her eyes opened it was to find him trailing kisses along her jaw.  The morning light just starting to make its appearance as it painted the room in a warm gold.  One of the beams from the window set along his broad shoulders, painting the strength in them along with the adorable softness of the freckles that were scattered there.

She shifted, brought her mouth so she could brush against the dotted flesh of his shoulders.  He sighed into her skin before he moved his hand to turn her head to him and took her mouth.  There were no words.  They didn’t really need them in those last little stolen moments together.  

She opened for him, like a bloom in the bright spring sun.  He took and took till she felt everything drained out from her, released in floods of light and song.  Then he gave back to her, gave her everything of him to fill up all those places he had drained.  And for a bit longer they simply were.

When they were both coming back to themselves, to awareness of the world around them, she allowed herself to think what it would be like if they could be like this.  If there really was another world where things were easier.  Another world where she could fall asleep every night so entwined with him that their bodies couldn’t be told apart.  A world where she could wake up every morning to him as her shining sun.  

Solas nuzzled to her breast, gripped her tighter to him for a while longer.  Then, when the room was almost full yellow with the day’s light, he gave a deep sigh against her.  He unraveled himself from her slowly and moved to get their things from the bedside table.  His movements uncharacteristically slow.  

Emma set up behind him, pressed kisses to his back,  “I love you, Solas.”

He shifted so that he could see her, started to turn his head to bring his mouth to hers then stopped himself with a shake of his head.  Instead, he touched his brow to her’s for just a moment before standing from the bed.

“If I kiss you again, we will never join the others.”

“It’s a tempting thought.”

They both knew that given the current situation they would be unlikely to get any time alone, not outside of the Fade at least.  It was likely many of the mages would be traveling with them, this would mean sharing of tents which in turn would mean no stolen nights.  Given that, once they left here they would probably not have each other again until Haven.

Emma set up fully, letting her legs swing over the side of the bed as she reached for her clothing, “We could run away together.”

He chuckled, pulling his undershirt over his head, “Where would we go, ma vhenan?”

“You mean if the world was not ending?”

He smiled at her as he reached for his leggings, “Ideally.”

She stood and started to pull on her own clothing as she thought.  Once she had on her underclothes she paused, “Everywhere.”

He stopped just as he was putting on his belt that soft smile still on his lips, “Everywhere?  That is quite a broad suggestion.  I was thinking more specific.”

“I want to travel with you.  I want you to take me to all the places you’ve told me about.  I want to walk with you in the ruins, the battlefields, all of it.  I want to see everything with you, walk the Fade as one.  Then, when we are both ready, find somewhere quiet to settle.”  She pulled on the outer layer not looking at him as she focused on the various fastenings, “But in the end, what I want most, is simply to be with you.  To fall asleep knowing that I will wake to you every morning and fall asleep against you again the next night, be that in a bed, under the stars, or tucked away in ruins.”

There was absolute silence then as she finished the last of her clothing.  When she was done she was almost afraid to look up, but she forced her eyes to his face.  He was staring at her, his gaze piercing into her.  

She fumbled to find words, “I’m sorry did I… I mean was that too much?  I didn’t mean to make you---”

Her words were cut off as he moved to her in one long stride.  His hands went to her hips and pressed her against him as his mouth went hungry to hers.  He bent her backwards again, leg finding it’s place between hers to hit the spot that made her release a little gasp into his mouth.  Then he kissed her as only he could, consumed her.  Lit her on fire till the world fell away.

When he released her, she stumbled and he had to hold her shoulders to help her balance.  Both their breathing was ragged and, as soon as he knew she was steady, he took a large step back from her.

“It was not too much, Emma.  I wish with all my being it could be so.”  He looked out the window and for a moment his eyes went dreamy, distant, “I never thought I would meet anyone who could so thoroughly pull me from the Fade, but since I have met you, I find that I would give everything, even that, if…”  His eyes turned back to her, sadness turning to resolve, “In another world, vhenan.”

It took her a moment to come back, to be able to register that his words weren’t in reference to that kiss, but to her words earlier.

When she did she took a deep breath.  What she wanted to say was why not this one.  What she wanted to do was throw away everything to simply be with him.  Her life wasn’t just hers though.  She’d made a promise long ago.  A life for a life.  It should have been hers now she had to amend.

She forced a soft smile, “Who knows, maybe there is some world where we are already together.  Living in some cute little cottage with all the best things from my world and yours.   Like not as many people and magic, but still with plumbing and coffee.”

His hand reached for her but he pulled it back to his side,  “I hope it is so.”

His eyes went to the last item left for him to put on.  He walked over to the it, picked up the wolf jaw, and let it drop slowly over his neck.  It was like watching a new skin being thrown over him, his mask back in place, shoulders pulled straight and stoic.

She walked to him, placed a hand over the jaw, the other going to his face.  There was something more to this.  Something to the necklace he still wasn’t telling her.  It hurt him and she wanted to help ease that, but how could she if she didn’t know the cause.

“Solas, what is---”

A banging followed by a shout from the other side of the door, “Alright you two rabbits, you better be decent.  If you’re not, pull out and get that way.”

Solas and Emma exchanged a mirrored look.  She let her hand fall from him as he bent to give her a kiss on the head before he chuckled.

“I am surprised it took this long, if I am honest.”  He ran his hands along his clothing once to make sure everything was straight.  Then he went to the door and opened it, “Good morning, Herald.”

“Is it?”  Ivy’s head peeked around his shoulder to find Emma and she grinned, “Ah so it is.  Look at her all glowey.  Good job old man.  I had my doubts but it appears you must have been adequate.  Your no complaints record shall continue it would seem.”

“What a relief.  That is my true goal in this existence.  Though I am curious where you found these records from my earlier exploits.”

“Top secret Herald shite.  Now scoot on out.  Me and your misses need to talk.”

“You--”

“Out ya old egg.”

“Egg?”

Ivy reached up to tap on the crown of his head, “Isn’t it obvious?”

“No.”

Ivy shrugged and then pushed on his shoulders, “Scoot.”

He didn’t exactly go on his own, but Emma knew he could have stopped her from pushing him out had he really wanted to.  

Still, once he was on the other side of the door he turned to look at Ivy, “I am---”

Ivy shut the door on him and turned to Emma with a grin, “Alright where can I go to sit or lean that you guys didn’t rub all over last night?”

Emma snorted then looked around, “To be honest…”

“Are you serious?”

She grinned but gave Ivy a shrug, “He’s rather enthusiastic.”

“How enthusiastic?  How many times did you actually do it last night?”

She flushed, “Uh well, I dunno a few times then we bathed, then again, and then again this morning.”

Ivy gave a deep sigh and walked over to the bed.  She lifted the cover between two fingers and tossed it to the side, then set on the edge of the mattress.  “Andraste’s tits, so the old man does have some staying power.”

“You have no idea.  He is quite---” Then she realized he might not exactly relish her telling all this, even if it was all a glowing review.  She cleared her throat, “Anyways, I should thank you.”

Ivy looked up at her, head tilting, “Thank me?”  Then a half grin,  “I wasn’t there.”  

Emma snorted again, “You know what I mean.  Thank you for giving us this.  A night to just be.”

For a moment Ivy’s face turned serious, “We don’t know what tomorrow will bring.  If you can, you deserve to have a few moments of love.  You should hold onto them.”  Then she patted the bed next to her, “On another topic, I believe you were going to tell me the truth sissy.  We won’t have privacy again for a while so, have at it.”