Me and Anne is working on the integration. I know that we can't really force it, but we agreed (after a lot of tears and arguments) that it's what best of us. I'm the parental figure in the system, and since we got our own real life family now, Anne can do the parenting stuff much better than me. The others are healing a lot and I feel like they don't need my role anymore. A fact that they'll opposed, but still a fact nonetheless.
The other reason why we decided to do it, it's because our history is much deeper and richer than what we got with others. It was just the two of us for a year. We got through the trauma together. And over time, we share the same dream job. Same values. Same way to process thoughts. It seems like the only difference is that I am not funny at all, and she got severe depression. A depression that was seems to eased quickly when we co-fronting. So why not merged into one consciousness together?
Of course other headmates opposed to this idea, especially Mish. It seems like this past month is the best time in our system. Oscar finally stop changing his identity and become a fully developed alter who's now called Silas. We talked so much and even having games and stuff in an app called Antar, truly recommended for our fellow plurals. Anne finally accepted that she's an alter too and that she can't do this alone. We worked like we're in military, distributing duties and giving a lot of advice from the headspace when needed. It's truly the best time. But it's making me realize too that I'm ready to move on to the next step.
If we're in the future, regardless if the fusion is happening or not, I just want to say that I am still here. I always be here, remember? I may take a different form, but remember that at the end of the day, I'm you and you're me. If you ever feel like you need me, you got to ask yourself, and I will answer. Cheers. -Hugo
