The Fact-Checker Who Just Couldn't Fiction: One Man's Struggle Between Truth and Lies
Jackson "Jack" Worthy was thrilled to land a job as a fact-checker for a major news organization. "Finally, a job where my obsessive attention to detail is an asset!" he thought to himself. However, his excitement quickly turned to panic when he learned he had to pass a true-or-false screening test first. Despite studying rigorously, Jack failed the test not once, not twice, but three times before barely scraping by on the fourth try. "I guess constantly questioning and second-guessing facts doesn't lend itself well to multiple choice exams," Jack realized a little too late. (Editor's Note: Five times, record can prove he passed on the 5th attempt! Jack should've taken the hint after the first failure. He claims it was a computer error.). Still, Jack managed to hang onto his new job by the skin of his teeth. At first, he felt right at home, eagerly verifying statistics, poring over sources, and pestering writers and editors about any potential inaccuracies. But over time, Jack started getting a little loose with the facts. He'd approve an article saying the mayor was 47 when she was really 48. He let a claim that it rained 3 inches yesterday stand, even though the weather station recorded 2.5. When asked if he was fired from a previous job, Jack replied "False! I voluntarily relocated to new opportunities." (Editor's Note: AKA he was totally fired). His casual relationship with the truth didn't sit well with his employers. When Jack claimed he still lived in his hometown of Scranton, PA, despite moving to Albany, NY years ago, the head fact-checker called him out, after double, triple and quadruple checking facts before confirming them as true.
"But Scranton just feels more emotionally true to me," Jack tried arguing. "Plus it rhymes with canton." But his excuses didn't fly. Now unemployed, Jack wonders if a lifelong dedication to nitpicking facts was really meant to be. "Oh well," he sighs. "I heard there's an opening for a creative fiction writer I'd be perfect for…"
After departing from the news organization, Jack decided to try his hand at writing fiction. No longer constrained by pesky "facts", he was free to let his imagination run wild. Or so he thought. He wrote a novel about an elite league of martial arts fighters who competed in an underground tournament called "Kumite". Reviewers praised its gritty action sequences, even if some of the MMA moves described didn't actually exist. . When Jack drafted a screenplay about a college a cappella group called the "Barden Bellas", his agent questioned whether competitive a cappella was really a thing. "Well it just became a thing because I say so," Jack replied confidently. (Editor's Note: Sounds fake but okay). But when Jack pitched a biography of the first dog to be elected US President, no publisher would bite. "You can't pass that off as non-fiction!" the editors scolded him. (Editor's Note: What were you thinking, Jack??) Frustrated, Jack realized even fiction writing required some grounding in reality. So he set his sights on a new career: political speechwriter. Here his fast-and-loose relationship with the truth would be an asset, not a liability! Or so he assumed. Jack landed a job on a presidential campaign. At first, he felt right at home putting positive "spins" on ambiguous facts. But soon he went too far, and wrote a speech claiming the candidate was born in a log cabin he built with his bare hands. The campaign fired Jack, and he was blacklisted from politics. (Editor's Note: Cabin birth story seems a bit far-fetched).
At this point, Jack had an epiphany: maybe a disregard for facts was not the most desirable career trait after all. So he decided to go back to what he knew best - nitpicking the truth. Jack found work with a fact-checking organization, rigorously verifying politicians' statements. He may have floundered before, but this time, he would let the facts be his guide. But Jack soon realized that his attempt to write fiction was doomed from the start. After years of obsessively checking facts, he found he was simply incapable of fabricating information, even for a made-up story. The novel he wrote about underground martial arts tournaments was based on an actual secret society of fighters he belonged to in college. And the a cappella group in his screenplay was modeled after his own embarrassing stint in an a cappella chorus after graduation. Try as he might, Jack couldn't conjure up a wholly fictitious world - the force of fact-checking habit was just too strong. Once, he spent 6 months attempting to write a novel about a swashbuckling pirate adventure, only to research real 18th century pirates so extensively that the book transformed into a dry historical account laden with citations and footnotes. So when Jack transitioned to political speech writing, he thought fiction was behind him. But old habits die hard. Even his exaggerated, misleading speeches contained nuggets of truth, as Jack compulsively included real statistics and verified data.
When he was fired for his exaggerated log cabin story, the campaign manager fumed, "Why couldn't you have fabricated something more reasonable, like being born in a hospital?"It was clear Jack simply lacked the creativity to construct alternate realities from whole cloth. Returning to fact-checking was the perfect solution, allowing him to channel his obsessive attention to accuracy into a job where such rigidity was an asset.
"Fiction and falsehoods just aren't for me," Jack realized contentedly, settling into his new fact-checking role with relief. "I'll leave fantasy to the writers whose minds aren't shackled to cold hard facts!"
After rediscovering his passion for fact-checking, Jack was careful not to veer off course career-wise again. But when his fact-checking job was eliminated due to company downsizing, Jack found himself at a crossroads once more. He needed a new job fast. With few options, Jack took an insurance sales job that promised high commissions. But he quickly found that having to stretch the truth about insurance products didn't come naturally to him. During sales calls, Jack spent more time painstakingly clarifying fine print and explaining exclusions than making a sales pitch.
"Well yes, our Deluxe Coverage would cover water damage, but only if it's from a burst pipe or appliance malfunction," Jack would carefully explain. "Standing water from a flood or storm would only be covered by our Premium Plus plan. And both plans require a $500 deductible payment per incident."
Unsurprisingly, few customers signed up. Some even accused Jack of trying to talk them out of buying insurance! Jack's meticulous full disclosures may have come from a good place of wanting to educate customers. But the lengthy disclaimers didn't make for good sales calls. After just 3 weeks, Jack was fired when it became clear he lacked the smooth talking art of persuasion well-suited to sales. Sighing with relief, Jack realized he was once again free from having to stretch the truth or embellish facts for the sake of a paycheck. He soon found a new fact-checking position where he could wield his obsession with accuracy for the forces of good - keeping businesses and media accountable by calling out misinformation. And this time, he knew better than to ever stray from the solid grounding of truth and facts again. Jack had learned the hard way that for a hardcore fact-checker like himself, fiction simply didn't pay.
After getting fired from the insurance sales gig, Jack decides he needs a break from traditional jobs to pursue a new passion - competitive jigsaw puzzling. Jack spends 10 hours a day practicing and honing his skills. He times himself assembling puzzles, analyzing where he loses seconds. Before long, Jack ranks among the top competitive puzzlers in the state, having set seemingly unbeatable records. Jack even builds a "puzzle station" in his home with a large table, storage for thousands of puzzles organized by piece count, and a timer to track his record times down to the millisecond. While Jack excels at his new hobby, he declines invitations from friends to maintain his rigid training schedule. Puzzling becomes all-consuming, leaving no time or energy for much else. When Jack's strained eyes need high-powered magnifying glasses to see the pieces, he decides to purchase them - his puzzling regime is punishing, but he's determined to be the best. He stores all his puzzle records in a Handwritten spreadsheet updated daily
However, Jack soon realizes he's reached the peak of the puzzling world, having set unbeatable state records. Without any competitions left, his zeal for puzzle perfection starts to waver. Coming up for air, Jack recognizes that while satisfying, competitive jigsaw doesn't pay the bills. With no income and neglected relationships, Jack sees it's time to direct his obsessive focus back to gainful employment. Jack is puzzled about what to do next, but eventually arrives at the truth - it's time to direct his obsessive focus back to gainful employment. As satisfying as puzzle perfection had been, he needs a career that can pay the bills. Nowadays, Jack dreams of starting his own independent fact checking company. He's noticed the proliferation of misinformation spreading unchecked on social media. This frustrates Jack, as he sees many dubious facts being shared without scrutiny. Armed with his uncompromising relationship with the truth, Jack aims to found a media watchdog company employing rigorous standards to verify claims and call out inaccuracies. He may have had career stumbles in the past, but Jack believes he's finally found his purpose - using his unique passion for facts to keep public figures and companies accountable. After all, there are always more pieces to the puzzle when searching for the truth. And Jack is determined to analyze how they fit together to separate fact from fiction, whatever it takes. The world needs diligent fact-checkers now more than ever.
Employment History: Fact Checker at The Daily Globe newspaper, Freelance Fiction Writer, Political Speechwriter, Fact Checker at Truth Matters Inc.,Insurance Salesman at Honest Insurance, Professional Competitive Puzzler
Editor's Summary
Jack's winding career journey demonstrates the importance of following one's true passion. This brave man tried his hand at jobs ranging from newspaper fact-checker to competitive puzzler before realizing where his heart truly lies - nitpicking the nitty gritty details of fact-based information. Some may see Jack's obsessive attention to accuracy as a fault, but we view it as a virtue in this era of rampant misinformation. His refusal to compromise on cold hard facts, even at the expense of humor or persuasion, is admirable. As they say, the truth hurts, but lying will kill you! Of course, Jack's path has not been without missteps. Who among us hasn't fabricated êtrent a log cabin origin story or two in our careers? But Jack learned from these transgressions and always corrected course back toward fastidious fact-checking. At the World Times, Jack's casual regard for employee ages was less an ethical lapse than an admirable commitment to emotional truth over tedious digits. And his imaginative fiction writing attempts were simply too brilliant for the world to understand at the time. Some suggest Jack would benefit from questioning truth itself instead of declaring facts so absolutely. But we believe obsessing over minor inaccuracies without broader context is the ultimate virtue! Now pursuing his dream of starting a meticulous new media watchdog company, we have no doubt Jack will thrive. With his puzzling perseverance and a magnifying glass at the ready, he is sure to elevate public discourse through relentlessly parsing every statistic and claim.
