#faceyourfeelings

In these very challenging times, I believe it is important to look inwards and observe our feelings and emotions for what they are and not shy away from them as it will allow us to find the love, the kindness and the compassion we need to support one another.

I lost my mother at 14 years old. She loved me unconditionally, I know that now. At the time, I didn’t understand her love in the way she expressed it to me. Although it’s been over 20 years since her passing and I know she’s with me from afar, I miss her presence and her motherly love.

I am in isolation with my family in Kenya’s countryside. I am taking this time to learn things I knew nothing about, deepen my knowledge on things I’d scratch the surface of and to ground my emotional, physical and spiritual self by meditating and exercising daily.

This new routine and these activities are shifting my self to a new state that I can’t quite describe yet, it’s a process in the making. Regardless, it has led me to experience strong emotions bubbling up to the surface and instead of running away from them or burying them deeper, I choose to face them and look them in the eye. Why are you here? What do you want from me?

I had such an experience today when I felt a strong pain in my heart because I miss my mother and her love. Why is the pain there? To remind my self that I was loved by my mother and I am loved today by many.

What does the pain want from me? To accept that even though I don’t experience my mother’s love today and I didn’t understand it 20 years ago, it shaped and formed the love I have for my self and for others. It’s not a perfect shape, it has some sharp edges, some soft corners and no straight lines but it’s my love. I accept it. And so, the pain dissolves and love emerges in its stead.

With love,