#facebook feed

MY FACEBOOK DID A THING!!!! 

I hit like but it weirds me out because I still remember them as that kid fighting over green apple and pink lemonade candy flavours.

The next is a video of a child in Syria injured and crying in a hospital. He’s crying and asking ‘am I going to die?’ Over and over and over again and for a minute I feel okay because at least he’s in a hospital. He’s in a safe place. Until the hospital is attacked and then my face.

I switch to Google and type ‘Syrian Crisis’ because I hate how I don’t know more about it.

15 minutes later and with a heavy heart and wet face I return back to my feed.

There’s a picture of a dozen of puppies and they are so adorable and I can’t help but smile.

But suddenly I’m startled by the barking of my neighbour’s dog staring right inside my room through my open back door and I get scared and once he’s gone think how funny it is to be scared of something I think is cute online.

Then I come across this post by one of my cousins and I’m surprised to see he has such thoughts. I want to immediately text him and tell him to stop wasting time and study for his finals.

It’s around that time my mother walks in and comments on how I never study and with that realization of my hypocrisy I shamelessly continue scrolling down.

I see happy faces of some people I used to call my friends- the faces of who I now barely recognize.

I contemplate for a few seconds before hitting like. Am I happy for them or am I sad for myself?

Some where in between I come across a video of some inspiring being, sometimes on the other side of the world, sometimes down my street and I realize life is worth living because of such people.

There are multiple posts about other countries politics and presidents and I wonder if I know half as much about my country’s affairs. There goes another Google search.

After a dozen cliché 'motivational quotes’ and pictures of people with totally inappropriate captions I sigh and think of posting something. It’s been a while. It’s been so long. That’s not me.

But what do I want to say? And who do I want to say it to?