#eyeless jack.com

General EJ Dating Hcs

• He doesn’t sleep, or he doesn’t really need to. It creates problems, because he will just sit there and stare at you while you try to sleep. He won’t move or speak or get up. He will just stare. And then he gets hungry after a while so he leaves.

• Absolutely miserable to sleep with if it’s winter. He is so fucking cold. He’s so cold he doesn’t feel hot when summer rolls around. The hoodie and jeans are a year round wardrobe for him. People look at him like he’s more of a freak than usual when they see him wearing heavy jackets in 102 degree weather.

• He smiles so wide. I am of the opinion he has a bunch of fucking teeth so when you make him laugh or smile he grins so big!!!!! He’s a great smiler

• Insufferably sore loser. He hates losing in any facet of life. He goes through multiple stages of grief before he’s just pissed the fuck off and he goes to your room (not even his fucking own he likes yours better) and locks you out and sits there for an indefinite amount of time. He might steal something out of there and you can hear him bitching to himself

• Cooks things with a ridiculous amount of seasonings. He doesn’t fucking care. Let him cook you someone’s livers with lemon pepper and juice and garlic salt and meat tenderizer and spices and nutmeg and chili powder and lime and basil and popcorn salt. The kitchen is fucking insane when he’s in it. But he’s cooking with love and human organs please accept it

• He shows affection in a very odd way. Pulls you in close by your shirt sleeve or jacket strings or belt loops or scarf or whatever. Just wants to feel you close to him sometimes.

• Super flexible. Wants to freak you out. Let him spider walk to your room. He is going to climb on the ceiling in the middle of the night. You can hear his bones. His back bends in ways that are wrong. He’s fucked up

• I think he smells like weed and copper. He’s killed in all of his clothes so they all smell like metal or they’re very stained. And I am a firm believer he smokes weed with Clockwork and Hoodie and sometimes Jeff after a job well done. So he comes home really high and covered in blood sometimes but it’s okay don’t worry about it. It’s cool. He might not even come home until the day after so he can avoid worrying you or you seeing him in that state

• Fucked up tangled hair. Always covers it up with his hood and it’s frizzed up and the ends are split and it’s mangled with blood and there’s miscellaneous substances sticking to it. And he just never puts in the effort to fix it. So he will often just get you to brush it for him and then he’ll get angry that it hurts. And it’s like what the fuck did you expect Jack? But he always greatly appreciates your help

• It’s likely that he gives you his clothes if he doesn’t want them/can’t fit them anymore. I’m not sure how desirable a hoodie that smells of cannabis and blood is tho but if you like it he wants you to have it

• Freakishly Tall. How’s the fuckin weather up there cocksucker? He could lift you all the way up to the goddamn Eiffel Tower. That’s why he has to lean down so his head doesn’t hit most ceilings and shower heads are taller than him so he has to sit down to take baths

• If you weren’t scared of him upon first meeting him (aka he tried to kill you), he would probably think that’s a huge fucking mood killer. “Really? You’re not scared? Kinda killing my vibe here, man… you’re not even gonna scream?”

• He’s downcasted. Dejected. Is he not scary anymore? Is that the problem? Are you just a freak? Do demonic, cannibalistic creatures frequent your room often? What the fuck are you just standing there for?

• He needs to find out what the fuck is wrong you. Which is why he’s going to stay in your house and pace around your kitchen. Stop trying to offer him food and advice on how to wash the blood off his clothes. Stop being yourself!!!!! Get away from him!!!!!!

• So fast forward to now and uh. He would kill for you. Like and subscribe for that