#explur

     𝐚 𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐨 , 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭     ---     the gradual and soft decline of nasal breathing , the loving sound of each new pass , is meant to make it a little bit easier , but it doesn’t , it does not , and jacob heugh curses himself for not having just ripped off the band - aid when he could’ve . it’s a delicious pain . he’s still trying . the way he smiles against shawky’s lips , says not very hard .     “     i can’t keep doing nothing but kissing on you the first minute i lay eyes on you like this .     “     maybe putting it out into the air , letting it press reluctantly into the soft of his lover’s mouth might give them some traction , and put them back on track .     “     you just got through the door , for pete’s sake .     “ 

     𝐚𝐡 , 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐛𝐨𝐲     —     it’d seem as though he’d gone and overworked himself once again . heugh’s no real inclination to disrupt his light sleep just yet , if not for just his own selfish , indulgent gains . the aftershocks of his unpreparedness , and resulting bewilderment , were all in all terribly charming , a warmly carbonated sort of sensation brewing in his belly . there’s something homey about the way shawky slumps into the breadth of his back , comfortable , and secure . let him bask in in just a moment or two more before heugh thinks to wake him . 

      𝐚𝐡 , 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 , 𝐢𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠 .     “     i didn’t want you to leave me .     “      it is frightening , to be this honest . it is all shawky will ever ask from him     ---     the one mortifying thing he both adores yet cannot look towards , because he is nothing more than a man infested in the eyes with hypocrisy , blind , yet still fully aware of the voracious way it nibbles . 

     𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐲 . or perhaps it’s something that his partner does intentionally , just because he knows how heugh likes to see the way the pink settles in his cheeks . or maybe ,  it’s simply that he likes the way heugh puts it there . whatever the reason may have been . all of it knew how to bring out the dimples in his smile .    “     probably because i smell like you , seth shawky .     “ 

     "     𝐢 , 𝐮𝐡 .     “     oh !! so he had . a distracted glance back out through the doorway for their bedroom and down the dark corridor of their hallway , where the living room slept and the kitchen hunkered down in it’s low , blue light . it seems in jacob heugh’s haste to join seth shawky in the bed , he’d been a bit careless with his undress , and the way it trails from there , to here . an innocent , wary glance is afforded . he doesn’t want to     —     they’re already so close to the time together they’ve been pining after     —     but if shawky asks him to , he will .     “     do you     —     ??     “