#explouration!

Blast! I have missed anouther few mailings to this fine paper. I was out and about, on the prowl by the Dam on the Amstel, when I spied a crude water channel running through the encampment. Coming closer to inspect the native stonework (and not to relieve myself as the barbarians insist I was doing!), I seem to have lost my balance and tipped over.

I awoke being taken care of by one of the native shamans. Their herbal remedies are quite quaint. The shaman had me eat a small white rock called a "paracetemol". Then he insisted I owed him, while rejecting the beads and mirrors I offered! They insisted on something called an "euro". I assume it's some type of shell the locals use as currency.

Jolly news! A colleague of mine has unearthed a new species! It's a monstrously tall yellow-ish horse, hailing from Africa. This is clearly a "Giraffe" (I saw a placard on a cage in Dutch, I do not know the way these beasts would pronounce such a word) that has been exported to Africa from the low countries. The Dutch bred them so freakishly tall to match their own stature, and attempted to breed them with an orange hide for their tribal colours, but ended up with a yellow-brown mix instead.

Explouration is so much more fun when shared!

They tell me houwever, that they've hatched a scheme to reclaim this little hamlet. The gouvernour of that federation has been replaced with someone painted orange, in their tribal colours! How this will help, I don't understand, but still surprisingly clever for those backwards barbarians

The summer perioud in these low countries is fascinating! Fearing the summer storms, all the tribesmen flee to higher ground, flooding France, Spain and Germany in droves.

When of approupriate age (usually around 6 years old), the parents of a little Netherling will leave the whelp on a beach. Just when the high tide is about to roll in, the whelp is expected to build water walls (The dutch call these "dyken") around itself to survive. How cruel! When we civilise these folk, this will be the first practice her Majesty shall outlaw!

When a Dutch male spies a suitable mate, he will endeavour to overtake her on the bicycle path, to show his prowess on those Wheeled Stallions. Mastery of the bicycle is a desirable trait to the Dutch. Since they are pack hunters, a quick ride is crucial to a successful hunt. Females, for their part, will deliberately slow down if they feel a male partner is a particularly impressive specimen (Impressive, for Dutch males, means at least 8 feet tall! Oho!).

(Fun fact! This is where the myth of Atalanta finds it's origin! The Greeks were writing about a Dutch tribe they came into contact with in distant memoury)