#explosyd

“I came here to see a friend. Do I need a reason?”

Hifumi closed his eyes and rest his hands on his knees, just focusing on breathing. Don’t fall victim to that sickly sweet voice - for it was the mask in front of the venom that would sink deep and ruin him again.

Friend.

That was such a terrible word to use, about the two of them. Maybe once upon a time - they were friends. Maybe...he had even thought of her as more than a friend, back then. But all of it. All of it was one-sided, in the end. Romantic, platonic, or otherwise. After everything she did to him...leaving him with no answers as to why...

“Were friends, if you’re mistaken.”

But it was here, things changed. He had to pause, and think back about his conversation with Jakurai on that fishing dock. After he opened up about his son and about Ramuda, what had he told him...?

( I too, had a person in the past who I couldn't forgive no matter what. To be honest, I still haven't forgiven her... but maybe, we just need to meet and talk about it face to face.

I want to understand. Who knows, maybe I can forgive her... or maybe not. But either way, it would be progress! ) No. He probably couldn’t forgive her, but...here they were, meeting face to face. It was not on his own terms, but...they were meeting.

Was this...his chance?

“Honobono...” His voice didn’t feel like his own, disconnected from his body - more than usual - but he fought through it. He couldn’t fall apart here, when he could finally get his answers. “Why...did you do all of those things to me...?”

Was I not good enough?

Did I do something wrong?

I know I mess up a lot, but you- you never even gave me a chance to get better. To fix whatever I did.

Things here...maybe they wouldn’t change for the better, by asking. No, in fact...in this timeline, things probably changed for the worse.

They weren’t the answers he wanted to hear.

Because...because in the end...was she really a person who needed a reason to hurt others? It was fun for her. It was fun for her to taunt him about all the things she did to him - to his mother, to his sister - just to ruin him entirely. She liked to break people - and Hifumi had been all too easy of a target for her.

Maybe that’s why nothing changed. Maybe that’s why he still toppled to the floor - the same as those shattered glasses of champagne - and broke all over again, screaming and crying. He couldn’t even vocalize his need for her to stop, just gasping for breath, for respite, for an exit, for...anything-

In the end, he still needed to be saved by other people. He still needed someone else to get hurt so he could stand up and fight - because he had never been able to stand up for himself. He still needed someone else to be the one to get her to leave.

In the end...