#exploding into smiderines

But luckily, he met someone who was willing to aid him. A friend. 

Vigia was no stranger to these types of blackouts. They’ve suffered from that in the past but have since “healed”. 

So they knew that something as simple as giving a firm squeeze on Octo’s hand was enough to calm him down. 

It was something that they’d more often do post missions. It reminded them to breathe. That they were still alive. 

And was Octo glad Vigia would do that for him. He felt calmer, healthier, and would lie If he said that he wasn't starting to grow attached to it. And It was as If Vigia silently agreed with him.

It had a simple plan that benefitted them both and that worked most of the time. 

Keyword…most.

During another afternoon It happened again, before he could breathe again he had found himself on top of another poor man’s body. He could only barely remember what led to it. A faint blur was that It was.

It was both too cold and too warm, the feeling of fresh blood on his hands. 

His mind was too full and to empty for him to properly think.

A breath, then suddenly another gasp. The blur-ish figure in his Head finally making some sort of form.

“Where’s Vigia” 

Almost in a panic he stood up, almost slipping on the remains of the dead man. 

He couldnt have killed the only person that cared. 

He couldnt have killed the only one that was there. 

He couldnt- 

The thought was too much to bear.

He had done this once before.

He couldn’t have done It again.

He even found himself starting to tear up and-

“Octo-” 

That familiar voice, It was like hearing an angel sing, a very rough and ragged angel. 

“-are you back?” 

They asked carefully. Too carefully. As If there was a fine rope holding him back that could break again at the slightly raise of a voice.

But what really was the least string was the sight. 

Even from under the mask Octo could tell Vigia has a broken nose. Maybe broken teeth as well. And who knew what they were hiding behind that arm over their stomach. 

Octo didn't even need to answer them

“Did I…do this?” 

Vigia didn't seem to flinch. Or be in pain. They were just sitting on the floor, holding onto their stomach. 

“I’m fine”

They also didn't directly answer

And Octo knew why

“I did this.” 

He said, almost hyperventilating. Taking some steps back as If It was his first time seeing a dead body. 

Vigia immediately called out to him

“I’m fine. I really am, I just- Wait…where are you going?” 

Before any other words could be said he was running away. 

From what? 

Himself

Why did he do It?

Why to them?

Why? Why? 

He was too dangerous. 

Better locked up and killed. 

How could he do that? Again?

It just proved that he had no self control. And thus, needed to keep his distance.

For their safety.

…

It had been a couple of days after that “incident”. Vigia recovered in no time.

And It seemed that it had affected more Octo than them. The one that got actually injured.

Octo grew distant. Feeling like he constantly was walking on eggshells. 

Their daily touch and silent comfort suddenly vanished. Him moving away every time Vigia tried to make a move.

And It hurt.

So much.

But he just bit his tongue and kept It up for the sake of them.

But they didnt like that. Not at all. And was determined to change It even with force. 

…

Another mission had just ended, they were safe and back at the helicopter. 

Before the incident, they'd hold each other’s hand the whole trip back.

But now, the moment Octo sat besides Vigia, he took his hands to himself. 

But they werent gonna let It be this time.

Suddenly, Vigia placed his hand on top of Octo’s, interlocking their fingers with his and giving It a firm squeeze. 

Something in Octo awakened again. The same feeling he had felt when they First touched hands.

But with the guilt and fear still within him, he tried to tug his hand away. 

Just to realize Vigia wasn’t letting go

“You're not letting go of his hand…” 

They said almost in a threat. But It was out of fear that Octo might grow distant again

“...please” 

Vigia would rather have his other eye plucked out than admit How much he had grown to care for Octo. How much his…presence meant for them. It reminded them that they were, in fact, alive.

In contrast, Octo’s hand was shaking more and the helicopter itself. He struggled to remain calm and think properly. 

Too many thoughts. Too many worries at once. 

And after countless internal conflicts, he finally gave in. And It was overwhelming, but in a good way. 

Tears started falling and sticking into his mask, the goggles even becoming foggy because of his ragged breathing. But the trembling didn't stop either. 

“I’m sorry…I just- …I was scared I might-” 

His speech was quickly cut off again when he felt Vigia’s hand on the back of his head, pulling It to his shoulder so they could do a half hug. 

They didn't need any words after this. 

It was comfortable, the silence. 

And to finally feel the warmth again.

Octo’s worries melted away in an instant. He knew he was still dangerous…but…he was glad he now had someone that could ground him.