10 Reasons Why Nobody Wants to Hire You
I work with 3 amazing crackerjack programmers. They deliver on time and beyond expectations. I pay them.
If you're a writer or a designer or a programmer and you're not getting paid what you think you're worth, here's why:
You have sweaty-hairy ball sucking habits.
I'll tell you what they are since you're so used to them you've become colorblind to them.
10. You're afraid of not getting the job
You're so afraid of not getting the job, you're willing to overpromise. I've interviewed over 650 programmers this year alone. If 640 of them tell me they can't do it and you tell me you can, for half the price, my first reaction is not, "Hallelujah! I've found the Messiah!" It's "what an idiot."
Move into your parent's garage. Eat ramen. Do whatever it takes to get to a point where there won't be the slightest hint of desperate neediness in your voice. Then talk to me.
9. You don't manage expectations
Not only do you over promise, you don't lower your prospective bosses expectations. So now, you've created two problems.
a) You gave your not-likely-to-be-your-boss-anymore person expectations you can't deliver on
b) You didn't take away your not-likely-to-be-your-boss-anymore person's preexisting expectations
8. You didn't ask, "what do you mean?"
You must ask "what do you mean?" for every request. This must be a habit of yours. If your not-likely-to-be-your-boss-anymore person asks you to fix a dent, you've got to ask, "what do you mean?" You may think you know what he means. But chances are, 90% of the time, you definition and his are different. You may pound out a dent and bondo the thing. He may want you to replace the entire door. If your not-likely-to-be-your-boss-anymore person asks you to have a report to him "fast," you gotta ask, "what do you mean?" Fast to you may be 24hours. Fast to him may be 5 minutes. You must ask, "what do you mean?"
7. You interrupt
During a conversation with a client, instead of cautiously listening and trying to figure out what he wants to get across to you, you interrupt. Sure, you interrupt to build rapport and communicate that you know what he means but in reality, it doesn't come across that way. It comes across like you don't care, you don't listen, and you're trying way to hard to impress him with your knowledge. But what's most impressive is when someone understands me. To understand, you must listen.
6. You don't date
Have you ever been told by someone to meet you in some nebulous place? Something like the bush on the east side of big rock. Or the 3rd waterfall from the cliff. The whole time you go looking for this place, you're totally insecure and anxious. Meeting this person is a total stress bucket. Well... as true as that is for 2 dimensional planes (places), it's infinitely more stressful when you tell your boss or your not-likely-to-be-your-boss-anymore person to meet you in some nebulous time.
You might think. Yes, yes, you do. And you do it all the time. When your boss tells you he needs you to finish up those TPS reports, you say, ok. But never say when.
If you only commited to a precise location on the clock, your boss could rest easy knowing that all he has to do is think about those TPS reports when the time comes. If you don't say when, he will stress about them the whole time.
Date. Date everything. And put out on the first date.
5. You don't keep your appointments
Your boss is rediculously busy. So he sucks at keeping appointments. This means he needs someone to blow where he sucks. You can't both suck at the samething. I've seen people try. It doesn't work well.
4. You ask the wrong questions
If you're not sure of something, like the term AE/PM, don't ask your not-likely-to-be-your-boss-anymore person. Google it.
3. You don't ask any questions
You got to ask key questions so your not-likely-to-be-your-boss-anymore person knows that you want to go more deeply into what he wants. It makes him feel like you genuinely care. But be careful. If you ask the wrong questions, it looks like you don't have any experience. But if you don't know how to ask the key questions, it's simply because you weren't listening carefully. This is probably because of (see #7)
2. You don't remember the answers
Take notes. If you don't take notes, you'll forget what you were told. Worse yet, your not-likely-to-be-your-boss-anymore person will know that you don't care if you forget what he says.
1. Stay tuned... this one is big. Friend me at http://facebook.com/bob.wan.kim to be notified when #1 is ummm... done
If you follow me on twitter, you'll get more of my painfully harvested epiphanies from the trenches of the internets: Follow me at http://twitter.com/journik
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