in which youâre bestfriend with Kyungsoo, and he called you muffin
(re-upload, âMuffinâ, on AFF 2018)
âHave a nice day.â You said.
âI wonât.â he coldly replied.
You rolled your eyes and left his side to walk with Chen. âIf only he could be nicer.â You mumbled and Chen chuckling beside you.
âThen what? You gonna date him if heâs nicer to you, muffin?â Chen teased you with the nickname you got from him.
âAh, sorry, you have a boyfriend.â
Chen continue laughing while you grumbling. Youâre waving your hand to your friend, âWendy! Wait!â
You semi run towards Wendy leaving Chen and your grumpy childhood bestfriend, Kyungsoo.
âHowâs the exam?â Wendy asked while sipping her slushie.
âSurprisingly good!â you grabbed her slushie and sip it. âCanât believe I answered all the question.â
âHey, ladies.â Wendyâs classmate, Suji greet you and her. Youâre not very close to Suji but sheâs a pretty and nice girl, âwanna go grab lunch?â
You remember you promised Kyungsoo to have lunch with him after he handed the paper, âIâll skip, Iâm going to have lunch with Kyungsoo later.â
âHeâs your boyfriend? Iâm in the same science class with him.â Suji said.
âNo, no,â you gestured your hands like an X, âweâre just childhood friends.â
âShe has a boyfriend.â Wendy pointed at you, âLay, from Art major.â
âOh, I see⌠and Layâs gonna join you for lunch later?â Suji asked.
âUhm, no⌠he got another paperworks⌠soâŚâ
âAnd heâs fine with your relationship with Kyungsoo?âÂ
âOf course,â you laughs, âtheyâre friends⌠I know Lay from Kyungsoo.â
Youâre waiting for Kyungsoo at the College park and you saw him walking with Chen and Kai, âDyo!â you called him by the nickname you gave him, itâs from his surename, Doh.
He turned to see you and nod, âwhat?â
âSo what are we having for lunch?â
He raised his eyebrows a bit, âlunch? I just had lunch with them.â He pointed the two other boys.
âWell, Iâm hungry after finishing the paper.â He said it calmly, âyou havenât eat? Itâs almost 3 pm.âÂ
âBecause youââ you harshly inhaled air and finally said, âyeah I havenât eat, Iâm just gonna grab whatever in the convinience store and eat it while walking home.â
You turned around and fished your cellphone from your bag and call your boyfriend.
âHey, babe.â He answered.
âWhere are you? Iâm hungry, wanna go grab lunch?â
âI had one, you havenât eat?â
âNot yetâŚâ you sighs.
âI canât go anywhere now, Iâm still working on my final project.â He said. âYou good?â
âYeah, Iâm fine⌠byeâŚâ you hung up and walking towards your house, itâs not close from the Campus but you feel like enjoying the nice weather.
You knew whoâs voice it was but you keep walking.
âWhereâs your lunch?â Kyungsoo jabbed your shoulders while panting after he ran after you.
âI havenât buy one.â
âHuh?â he pull you to a small market and next thing you know youâre sitting in front of bibimbap stall and Kyungsoo already order one for you.
âEven tho I told you to have lunch with me, if youâre hungry then go eat by yourself first.â He said while mixing the rice for you.
âIâm unlike you,â you said, âif I promised something to someone, Iâll keep it.â
He laughs, showing his cute gummy, âgood girl,â he patted you head, ânow eat.âÂ
You shove the spoon to your mouth and you know heâs watching you.
âWhereâs Lay?â he asked.
âBusy with final project.â You shortly replied.
âNeglected again~â he sang the last part just to make you pout.
You scoffed while busy chewing your food.
âHey, I saw you talked to Suji before.â
You turned to see him with squinting eyes. Kyungsoo never asked about a girl like this before. âYeah.â
âSheâs pretty like cupcakes.â He said.
You rolled your eyes, you have a history about you nickname that related to Kyungsoo and cupcake.
âWeâre at a same class.â He murmured.
âYeah, she told me thatââ
âWhat if you set me up with her?â
You almost choked on your food, âyou⌠w-what? You like her??â
âWell,â he shrugged his shoulders, âsheâs cute.â
âYou donât like cute girls!â
âAnd who are you deciding what kind of girls I like?â he mocked.
You munch your food slower, âso⌠you like Suji?â
âI donât know yet⌠but I think sheâs cute.â Kyungsoo chuckles.
it wasnât a double date since you were on a date with Lay and you told Suji if she wants to join, and you saw a brighter smile when you mentioned that Kyungsoo might be there too.
Lay and Kyungsoo talked about games they were playing and Suji seems to enjoying the conversation and you canât help but observing how Kyungsoo being gentle to Suji. He likes the girl. You knew.
Moreover when Kyungsoo offering to walk her home.
âHow is it with her?â you asked Kyungsoo when you met him in front of your Campus gate.
âCome onn⌠you know whom I was talking about.â You took the cola from his hand.
âWe talked a lot on the way home.â
Heâs turning to see you, âI like her.â
âMuffin?â he stopped and turned his heels and stretched his arms out, âmy cola.â
The following week you saw Sujiâs social media when he posted her picture with Kyungsoo and the caption was: love.
âOohh~ my Kyungsoo have a girlfriend~â you teased him when you met him later on at the subway station.
He smiles widely, something he rarely done. âwe went out just us few more times before I told her if she wants to be my girl.â
âTell me the details!!â you asked when he pull you to the train and he found you both seats.
âWhat details? We went out for a meal and on the way home I told her that I like her, she said yes.â He plug the earphones on his phone and scroll the music directory, press play to a song and offer the other end of the earphone to you.
You took it without saying anything, âyou happy?â
He nodded, âtold you, I like her.â
âValentineâs coming, do we have plans?â you asked Lay.
âOf course.â He kissed your hair, âdinner?â
You nodded while looking at him designing something on his computer tablet, âI hate your projects.â You murmured.
âIâm jealous that you put more attention to them than to me.â
Lay clicked âsaveâ and put it down on the table, then he joined you on the bed, his bed, âyou missed me, arenât you?â
âIâve told you that million times but you always said: my final project this, my final project that.â You pouts and he kiss the pout away.
âLetâs go on a date on valâs day. Iâll book a place for us.â
He said that but he was the one coming to you asking, âhave you book a restaurant for us?â
You canât help but furrowing your eyebrows.
âHey, Soo.â Lay greets Kyungsoo who walks with you towards your class together.
âMe? Do I have to book it for us?â You raised your voice.
Lay looks confused, âyeah, no?â
âNo.â You replied, âyou said youâre gonna book a place for us, you told me that! Oh my God, Lay, I canât believeââ
âYou guys can join me and Suji.â Kyungso cuts you before you explode.
âWhy would us??â you shout at him.
âHey, babe, come on, we can join Kyungsoo and Suji⌠come onâŚâ Lay tried to hug you.
âYeah, me and Suji is gonna celebrate valâs day at the french restaurant down the street, itâs new, the placeâs nice and the price is good, not gonna robbed us as student.â Kyungsoo explained.
âLet me go!â you escaped yourself from Lay and left them.
âBook another table for us, please.â Lay said to Kyungsoo and go after you.
You know you shouldâve been mad to your boyfriend when he called you saying that he couldnât make it to the valâs day dinner, but you really canât because he said heâs stuck on train from Seokchon to Seoul due to heavy snow.
Then Kyungsoo came to your house. Alone.
âShe has to go to the hospital.â He said.
âEverythingâs okay??â
He nods, âher little sister fell from bike and she has to be with her mom because her father is out of town.â
âWhy donât you come with her?â you asked.
Kyungsoo shook his head, âI havenât being introduced formally to her parents.â
âIsnât it the good time to be introduced to her mom at least?â
He shrugged his shoulders, âshe said otherwise.â
You didnât say anything for a while, looking at the bright winter afternoon, you two just sitting side by side on your houseâs patio.
âCold.â Kyungsoo murmured.
âLetâs get inside.âÂ
âLetâs just go to the restaurant.â Kyungsoo suggested, âI already made reservation, my reputation is at stake.â
You crinkle your nose, âyou made two reservations, right?â
âYeah, but the other one is under Layâs name⌠just let the restaurant thinks that guy is irresponsible.â
Itâs a set menu you got, pretty appetizers for each, steaks as the main course and one nice vanilla cake and ice cream as dessert for both of you to share.
Kyungsoo read a table tent that said something about special menu.
âHave you ever tried caviar?â he asked.
âNot yet, but I really want to try one⌠people said itâs amazing.â
âWhoâs that people?â Kyungsoo raised one eyebrow.
âUhm, some people on TV.â
He scoffed, âthey give it for free as special valâs day menu.â
Kyungsoo showed you the promotion then you raised your hand to call a waiter.
âCan I help you, miss?â
âYes, uhm, can I have one sweet potato crème fraiche caviar?â you said, and Kyungsoo silently cooing at how you pronounce a hard name.
âOh that special menu?â
âYes,â You said, âitâs free, right?â
âCorrect! It only have one super easy requirement to get that menu.â
You both raised your eyebrows, ârequirement?â
âJust kiss your partner.â
âYou donât really want that caviarâŚâ he said.
âIâm curious, and this actually a good chance I can taste that expensive shitâŚâ you murmured, âbut⌠well, damn you Lay Zhang!!â you cursed your MIA boyfriend, âwhere are you when I need you.â
âOkay letâs call that waiter and claim the caviar.â Kyungsoo said.
âWhat??â You saw him staring at you. âbut the reqââ
âDonât act like weâre not each otherâs first kiss.â He said just above whispers, and youâll lie to yourself if you said you didnât feel that bubble inside your chest.
âBut that wasâŚâ you didnât continue because hell, you were friends for ever with him and thereâs no way you feel this way, and thereâs no way heâs involving any extended feeling when he pick up that first kiss topic again.
Yes, you were each otherâs first kiss, but that was because the 12 years old you and him were curious about how it feels when lips meet other lips, and it happened after you two watching a foreign TV series where the heroine kissing the love of her life.
âHave you ever kissed someone?â Kyungsoo asked one day when you both walked home after a piano lesson.
âYeah.â You murmured.
âOkay, never, but I know how to kiss.â You said.
Kyungsoo scoffed. âhow?â
You gestured your fingers, putting it together, âpout your lips and go forward and stick it toââ
âStick it???â Kyungsoo flinched, âstick??â
You sulked and walked away while he was laughing.
âStop calling me that!â you walked faster.
He ran after you and pull your shoulder, âletâs try.â
âOkay then be a lip-virgin forever.â Kyungsoo walked passing you.
âHuh?â you started to worry, will someone kissed you later? or you will be a lip-virgin forever. âDyo! Wait!â
âStop calling me that!â
he turned around, âhuhâŚ?â
you stood right in front of him, and your height was similar to him, it was years before he suddenly grew much taller than you.Â
He was staring at you, and you canât help but lowering your gaze. And when youâre looking at him again, he immediately avoiding you.
âSo, w-what should I do first?â he asked.
âJust⌠uhâŚâ you really canât lift your gaze, suddenly he put his palm on your shoulder, and his feet move forward.
âlook at meâŚâ he said.
You lift your face and realised how close you were. Then you saw him started to close his eyes, and so do you, and after a long excruciating second, youâre finally feel something soft touching your lips.
His lips stayed there for another few second before detached them from yours. It was just a long innocent peck. But you and him were walking home in silence after that.
And no one talking about it again.
âAre we really⌠gonnaâŚâ you search for Kyungsooâs âIâm just kiddingâ but you saw his flat face.
âYeah, why not.â He shrugged, âI never had caviar, you too, and the requirement is only kissing you⌠easy.â
âEasy?â you scoffed, âkissing me is easy?â
âLay knew better I bet, but, come on, nothing to lose, we would only gain two crème fraiche caviar in roasted sweet potato.â He made a yummy gesture by kissing his thumb and index finger together.
Yeah, what would be so hard with kissing him, right?
âOkay.â You said and Kyungsoo casually raised his hand to call a waiter.
âCan I help you, sir?â
âCan we get the caviar?â
âOf course, just show me your love to your girl, sir.â The waiter smiles.
And Kyungsoo reached out to palmed your jaw, briefly caressing your cheek before lift his gaze to meet yours, and your brain start telling you that this isnât right. You should stop him, you shouls say no, you shouldâ
His face is getting closer, and closer, and he tilt his head.
He stop for one milisecond before capture your lips.
You gulp when he touches your lips.
And he move his lips between yours.
And you donât know when and how but your hand is on his nape.
You pulled away and heâs startled. The waiter didnât seem to notice because heâs smiling happily while preparing the caviar for both of you.
You couldnât focus on whatever happened after the kiss. And the caviar that served tasted bland.
âYou havenât forgive me.â Lay sat across you in a fast food stall near your college.
âFor stuck inside the train in the middle of the snow storm that made me unable to spent valâs day with you.â
âThat was two weeks a go.â You continue your meal.
âYeah, and you act so cold since then.â He tried to get you feed him.
âIâm fine, Iâm always fine⌠even if youâre never there for me, Iâm fine.â You fake a smile.
âSee⌠youâre mad at me.â He sighs.
âDo you love me?â you stopped eating.
Lay stop trying to steal your food and looking at you instead, âthatâs another way to say yes.â
âA lazy way to say yes.â You corrected him.
Lay shrugged his shoulder.
âYou never said you love me, you choose lazy way to answer me when I asked if you ever love me. GodâŚâ
âThis has nothing to do with my period, Lay, youâve been so insensitive and deserting me a lot! And Iâm tired of trying to understand you!â
âWhoa-whoa⌠wait, babe, when did Iââ
âWhen? When, huh? It was when you always put you final project whatsoever first.â
âBut thatâs for my future!â he said.
âYouâre being selfish.â Lay said.
âOhâŚâ you paused, âam I?â
âOkay, letâs put your future firstâŚâ you said, âgo focus on your future first⌠and if we meant to be together, letâs meet in the future.â
âW-what do you mean?â
âLetâs not see each other again as couple⌠letâs just be friends.â
âYou break up with me?â
You nodded, âIâm sorry for disturbing you from focusing on your future.â
âStop calling me that.â
âYouâre just mad, babeâŚâ
You stood up and Lay also standing up, âIâm not kidding, Lay, Iâm tired of this relationship where I was the only one trying to hold on the thin thread that connect us⌠Iâm sorry, but I really canât continue this.â
You didnât cry on the first day you broke up with him, but cried the day after. However, it was a year full of him. Something is definitely missing.
And Kyungsoo, someone who suppose to be your bestfriend is busy with his girl, you knew theyâre get along well when Wendy told you that Suji introduced Kyungsoo to her family.
âSo⌠now the family already know you?â you match Kyungsooâs pace on the way to subway station.
He was a little startled but then he look straight ahead again without giving you any answer.
âI texted you yesterday.â You said.
âOh, I havenât replied?â
he hasnât even read it.
âI called you few days a go.â
âI saw the missed call but I was out with Suji.â
You just nodded while glue your lips together. There was stung in your heart to find out that Kyungsoo doesnât even know that you broke up with Lay. He didnât even give you a chance to tell him.
He stepped inside the train. Without pulling you in.
He stand in the corner, the train wasnât packed but he didnât go finding a seat either. So you stand beside him.
âSit there if you want.â He said pointing at an empty seat.
âNo, iâuh, I wanna talk to you.â
He pull out his cellphone and plug the earphone. You were lowkey waiting for him to give you one earphone but the hope crumbled when he said,
âHello, hey, Iâm at the train right now⌠youâre already at campus?â
Heâs calling Suji and left you awkwardly standing next to him.
Two stops later you find an empty seat near you, and you left Kyungsoo to sit down, didnât realised that Kyungsoo finished the phonecall and staring at your sad face.
Next day kyungsoo waited for the subway but he didnât find you, and the next day, also the day after. You werenât avoiding him, you just went to Pohang because one of your older cousinâs getting married.
At the fourth day, you were already at the station waiting for the train when Kyungsoo appear beside you.
âWhere were you?â he asked but the train coming and the pulled you inside and found seats for you, then he pulled his cellphone, you looked away, trying not to care if heâs going to call Suji again, but then you feel him slip the earphone into your ear.
âListen, new song I discovered.â He said.
You didnât say anything, keep your face away of him, and slowly release took the earphone off and give it back to him.
âWhatâs wrong?â he asked.
âNothing.â You stood up and standing near the door even tho your destination is still three stops away.
Somehow you couldnât understand what you feel about him, is it about the kiss? Or your disappointment towards him because he wasnât there when youâre down after broke up with Lay.
âWhy youâre sulking?â he asked when you both get off at your stop and walking towards the campus.
âOh, since when you know me that well till you know that Iâm sulking?â
âWell, it doesnât need to be genius to see how you fold that face into an ugly frown.â He shrugged.
âDonât talk to me as if weâre close.â You walk faster.
âHuh? What do you mean? We are close.â
âYou think so?â you turned to him, âare we still close now? Because as far as I remember, I didnât neglect you when I have a boyfriend but look at you! You didnât even reply my messages, you didnât pick up my calls, you didnât talk to me!â
âI didnât ask you to do all of that to me while you have boyfriend.â
âOh, so you think if youâre dating someone, you could just throw away your friends??â you raised your voice.
âI never threw you away! Iâm just being a normal me, and Iâm sorry if my girlfriend is actually paying attention to me, unlike yourââ
âI broke up with Lay.â You said, âmore than a week a go. And Iâm trying to tell you this, I need you but youâre busy with your life!â
Kyungsoo called you but you runaway.
you murmured the nickname he gave you. Muffin. It was from the incident of your birthday years a go, when you had your 11 birthday, when you specifically asking for a cupcake for your birthday and Kyungsoo gave you muffin instead, telling you that they looked similar. You sulked for day and he teased you by calling you that, until now.
And as the courtesy of how Kyungsoo love to get you on the edge, he always giving you muffin in your birthday and told you to eat the cupcake.
You told him itâs a fake cupcake, muffin is not pretty like cupcake, muffin is ugly and by him calling you muffin, you knew he lowkey telling you that youâre ugly like muffin.
âKyungsooâs here.â Your mom knocked on your door.
You sat on your bed when heâs get into your room.
âHey muffinâŚâ he said.
âStop calling me that!â
he smiles and gave you a cute box.
âIf you dare buying me another dozen of muffin, Iâm gonna hit yââ you opened the box and found cupcakes inside.
He sat beside you and took one of the prettiest cupcake and feed you.
âHowâs it?â he asked while you munch.
You only responds with a hum.
âDo you like this better?â
you never care about how it taste but actually it tastes like a birthday cake, a classic vanilla with overly sweet icing.
âDo you know why I prefer to call you muffin than cupcake?â he asked.
âBecause Iâm not pretty enough like cupcake?â
He shook his head, âbecause muffin tastes a lot better than cupcake.â
You didnât say anything, just let him continue.
âmuffins has various flavour inside, could be banana muffin, choco chips mufin, blueberry⌠and all flavour is inside the cake⌠unlike cupcake, cupcake is just a vanilla cake with icing. A plain cake with over decorating outside. And for me, youâre pretty inside, not outside.â
âSo, Iâm not pretty?â
âHm, of course youâre gonna take it wrong.â He sighs, âwho says muffin is not pretty? Muffin is honest⌠do you think cupcake is pretty without all the icings?â
âYou mean cupcake is like girls with thick make up?â
You tried to hold your smile. âIâm gonna tell Suji you said her make up is too thick.â
âWhen did I said that?â
âHey! Remember you told me Suji is cute like cupcake?â
Kyungsoo waved at you in dismissal. âAnyway, Iâm sorry about you and LayâŚâ he caress your back.
âItâs fine⌠itâs time⌠Iâve been very patient for too long.â You said, âand youâre right, my boyfriend is not paying attention to me like your girlâŚâ
He chuckled, âyouâll find someone who deserves you soon, muffin.â
You talked to him for another hour before he bid himself goodbye, and when you walked him outside, you realised you want to see him longer.
 He startled when he heard you calling him with that name, not Dyo.
âHave you ever think of not being friends with me anymore?â you asked.
He shook his head, âwhen you were mad at me yesterday, I thought I lost you as my friend, and I donât want that.â
And that brought you back to your place. He doesnât want you and him to be more than this. âw-what about something else⌠other than being enemy.â
He stopped, but his gaze linger, he was staring at you and from his eyes, you knew he get what you mean. You saw the complication in his eyes.
âI have a girlfriend.â He said.
And so time flies, springâs here, the flowers bloom and the weather getting warmer. Kyungsoo still remind friends with you, only heâs few feet farther than before. Many things changed after the whole blurry confession you told him, and you never blame him.
Lay finished his final project and he called you, he even went to see you several times, telling you that heâs sorry and if thereâs another chance for him but you havenât give him answer.
Itâs still breezy but you decided to drive yourself to the beach at the city side. Suddenly you saw someone walked towards you, someone very familiar.
âMuffinâŚâ he smiles.
âHow did you know Iâm here?â
You made an âOâ with your mouth.
âAll good?â he asked.
âLay wants to reconcile.â You told him.
âOhâŚâ he walks beside you, âand?â
You just shrugged your shoulders.
âYou donât love him anymore?â he asked.
âI donât know if I could love him again when I have someone else occupied my mindâŚâ at this point, you donât care. You knew you like Kyungsoo and if he canât like you back, and he feels disturbed by your confession, he can leave and you two can stop being friends.
âOhâŚâ he still walking beside you. âI broke up with Suji.â
You stops, letting him leaving you behind. But after few steps he turned around, âI canât stay being his boyfriend while my mind is occupied by someone else.â
You canât help but asking, âwho?â
âA friend a kissed on valentineâs day.â He murmured.
âYou choose a muffin instead of a cupcake?â
He nodded, âalways choose a muffin, because it tastes better.â He smiles.
âSooâŚâ he stepped closer, âinstead of just thinking about each other⌠why donât we date each other?â
âSince when did you like me?â you asked when he come even closer to you.
âSince I called you muffin for the first time.â He put a strain of your hair behind your ear.
âHmm⌠but Iâm afraid to ruin what we hadâŚâ he whispers.
âWhat about now? Youâre not afraid to ruin what we have?â
Kyungsoo pull you into a hug, âbeing with or without you ruining me in different ways, and I choose to live the present, to show you how much I want you more than a friends doâŚâ he kissed your hair, âmuffin⌠I want to be with you for the longest time.â
You snugged deeper in his chest, âme tooâŚâ
He pull away a bit just to tild his head, âbe my girlâŚâ he said before leaned down to kiss you before you could say yes.
But you knew, he knew youâd say yes, because you kissed him back.