Shawn: I screwed up big time.
Gus: Shawn, given your daily life experiences, you’re gonna have to be more specific.
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Shawn: I screwed up big time.
Gus: Shawn, given your daily life experiences, you’re gonna have to be more specific.

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Carlton: Are you trying to be annoying, or does it just come naturally?
Shawn: It comes naturally.
Shawn: And now we’re on the brink of World War Two.
Carlton: Three.
Shawn: It’s not a competition, Lassie!
Carlton: Of all the irresponsible, insubordinate…
Shawn: Don’t forget idiotic, imbecilic, inane…
Carlton:
Shawn: What? I’ve heard a lot of words for “stupid.” I mean, come on, people say that more than my proper name.
Shawn: Don’t worry about the check, guys. I got this one.
Gus: What? Whoa.
Shawn: I have a little bit of disposable income these days.
Juliet: Shawn, you cannot have disposable income when you owe us 11,000 dollars and three cats.
Shawn: You’ll get those cats when you get those cats, Jules.

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Carlton: Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve had sex?
Shawn: Two years?
Carlton: [a little affronted] Six months.
Gus: Oh, good! I was hoping to add theft, endangerment, and insanity to my list of things I did today.
Shawn: Ha ha! You too?
Shawn: Okay new plan-
Gus: Shawn, we’ve had lots of plans, and none of them have worked.
Shawn: Yeah, but this is a good one.