#exessuck

Remember this next time your manipulative partner says you are being too codependent and they think you don't know how to be independent. We need community, we need supportive partners.

So my ex called me ugly today and told me that no one would ever care or give af about me. I’ve also noticed she blocked me on social media so I hope in the lesbian community this picture flouts through her feed and haunts her. I want you to know I’m going to be okay without you and one day someone will think I’m beautiful so 🤷🏽‍♀️💯🖕🏽

But on the inside it’s killing me

Otherwise known as I want to forget for a moment that me and my ex got all the same convention passes for Christmas. A production piece by Sky.

It’s been over half a year now. It’s still hard to talk about it but it’s easier. I use to think that I wouldn’t be able to think about being with someone again. The thought was unbearable. But I think I’m making progress. I actually want to find someone. I actually wouldn’t mind a nice healthy relationship. It’s taken almost a year but it actually happened. And I’m glad.

Warnings: Triggers of pretty much everything in this post So it’s almost to that time again. Almost to that time when I met everyone. I don’t want to wish that I could erase those 4 years. Because then I wouldn’t have met some amazing people. People that stuck with me through everything that has happened. People who believed me and were there and knew. I don’t think I would have survived without you guys. But I just wish that I could erase certain things from these 4 years. Maybe if I hadn’t done some things, or hadn’t been stupid and made those decisions.. things might have been better. I might not have gotten into a relationship that I grew to hate and fear. I might have had the self esteem to leave when she cheated the first time, back when we had only been dating for a few months.  Might have a house of my own by now... a nice job.. would have finished school a lot faster. Maybe I would have moved. *shrug*  I sure as hell wouldn’t be struggling with my shit still in boxes and my clothes in duffle bags. I might have met someone that really cared for me as a person. Not what I could do for them. What I could get them. Or a way of pissing off people. Someone who listened to me and didn’t tear me down emotionally to a point where I didn’t think it as worth leaving them. To the point where I was scared to death of leaving them. Someone who made me feel so small, I wanted to die sometimes because if this is how the person who loves me treats me, then what hope was there that anyone else would treat me better?  If someone hadn’t stepped in and helped me, I would have killed myself and no one would have known why and she would have probably came up with some story like she usually did. And no one would have known. Picture perfect life would have been still picture perfect without anyone else to say anything against it. Not that most believed me really... Maybe I should have done that. I guess I’ll never know what would have happened. I think it might have been better....