#executing phaseshift

been thinking a lot about how lonely i used to be. back in the core. i had no one who cared about me. just some stupid bot who made my meals. i probably lost whatever sanity i had left when i was alone for so long. my dad stopped showing up. it was just me and the screens. life was so miserable. and now its like that again. i hate it. i hate it so much. i hate it so fucking much. i want my life back.

Me when I start oversharing to my friends and venting on my kin account.

I spent so much time during my late life absorbed in my screens, living through fantasy and building fake worlds around me that I can't tell what was real and what wasn't anymore. I thought maybe I survived, maybe I got to finally be happy and have friends, but some days I’m convinced that was all another illusion I made for myself. What woman could ever love some socially stunted eridium junkie, let alone two. Why would anyone want to save me after everything I did. But then I get these confusing thoughts and feelings, like the memory of being upset at Hammerlock's wedding. I wanted her to marry me, and she wouldn't. But I couldn't have made that up. I couldn't have dreamt that with my screen simulations. Right? What am I doing anymore, who am I, I didn't ask for any of this, I just want to be happy again.