#excutient

There’s a small anxiety that thrums in the back of Fuyuhiko’s head, one that tells him his friends are so damn tired of getting baked shit for their birthdays. This time it’s different though, so it should be fine. Right? Right.

That’s what he tells himself at least as he wraps up the box that holds a combination of one brownie, one jam cookie, and one cupcake. More specifically, they’re edibles. Weed. THC. Fuyuhiko has never made something like this before, but he know if anyone is going to appreciate it, it’s Nagito.

So he steels himself as he knocks on Nagito’s door, wanting to wake up his boyfriend with a normal breakfast in bed, and the present in a bag hanging on his arm, “Hey babe, it’s just me!” Once Nagito opens the door, Fuyuhiko gives him a bright smile with a soft blush, excited to be celebrating a birthday for the first time since they got together.

“Happy Birthday babe!” he smiles still, “I brought you breakfast in bed, and uh, a present. You can open it whenever, but you gotta eat soon before this shit gets cold.” He hopes Nagito opens the gift sooner or later, maybe that will ease his anxiety.

birthdays aren’t much of note to nagito. it’s another day, and if it goes too well they’ll pay for it later. so they aren’t expecting anything when there’s a knock at their door and their boyfriend’s voice.

fuyuhiko isn’t much of a morning person, but he’s just before nagito normally wakes up. he’s a bit confused, but nevertheless opens the door - stunned for a moment as he takes in his boyfriend’s smile, the breakfast in his heads, and the present hanging from his arms. right. it is his birthday today, isn’t it?

“ahaha... you really didn’t need to do anything!” that doesn’t stop them from accepting the food and letting fuyuhiko in so they could sit on their bed together. “i’m surprised you remembered!” they chirp before realizing that sounds like it speaks more to fuyuhiko than themself.

“well, you’re good with things like this! so not that surprised! i’ve just never had someone remember and care about my birthday like this!” it’s getting worse the longer he talks. “um... thank you.” he finally settles on with an awkward, wheezing laugh and a blush of his own. they take a few bites before fuyuhiko sets the bag next to them. right! presents!

“can i..?” as soon as their boyfriend nods, they check out the contents with a bright smile. “ah! i was really hoping you’d bake me something.” they lean forward and press a kiss to fuyuhiko’s cheek. then, the unmistakable scent of weed hits them. is fuyuhiko..? no, he’s too present. it’s coming from... the bag?

“hold on! are these..?” nagito’s eyes sparkle as he takes another whiff. they *are.* 

Servant is... irritating. But it would be more irritating and more trouble than it’s worth to try to be rid of him. So instead he sits back, gaze fixed on the boy in front of him, red irises nearly flashing from the light reflecting off the chain attached to his neck. It’s new - Junko, perhaps?

She does insist nearly daily that Servant is some kind of gift for him. In all honesty, he finds the whole get up tacky. But Servant seems to enjoy it. Whatever. 

“When are you departing to Towa?” Izuru finally asks, chin canting slightly as he regards the other boy. His toes tap impatiently as he waits for an answer. Out of curiosity, he tugs the chain just to see what happens - to hear the gasp. Or will he? At least for all his irritation, Servant isn’t nearly as boring as others. He’s managed to catch Izuru by surprise more times than he thought possible. It leads him to a kind of fondness. 

He’s taking a risk, he knows that. But then almost every conversation with Fuyuhiko is a risk given how close his temper is to snapping at any given moment. And Hajime hates seeing the way the boy sits by Peko’s pod day and night, not least because he feels responsible for the situation they’re all currently in.

‘She’ll wake up,’ Hajime says softly, two-toned eyes on the pod as he addresses Fuyuhiko. ‘The others have. There’s no reason to think she won’t.’

Granted, not many of the others have revived, but the fact that any of them at all are now conscious and aware and recovering means that there’s hope for the rest of them. He does not allow his eyes to stray over to Nagito’s pod as this thought occurs to him, instead tearing his gaze away to look at Fuyuhiko.

“D-don’t make me moan, you asshole," Fuyuhiko gives Kaz a small punch on the arm, "I don’t want anyone to fucking catch us…” It's impossible not to think about the people still in the living room of their apartment. Even if they snuck away to Kaz's room, the rest of the party busy with whatever stupid game they're playing, he's nervous as hell. (COLLEGE AU PL EASE)

that makes kazuichi grin. “don’t moan so easy then.” he replies, going right back to nipping at fuyuhiko’s neck. he doesn’t think about the implications about not getting caught - it’s either because fuyuhiko is weird about people knowing exists as a human being with desires, or it’s embarrassing that he’s fucking kazuichi. and for as long as possible he’d like to believe it’s the first, no matter how much more likely the second is. 

it’s not unlike nanami to not answer his texts half the time, she’s probably fine. definitely fine! but it’s just one of those days his worries are getting the best of him, and instead of waiting for her at the fountain, he finds himself at the gate for the main course building. 

as the students file out, he doesn’t spot nanami anywhere. hajime tries to get the attention of a couple people he’s pretty sure are in her class, but it seems he blends right into the background. of course, he’s not particularly loud, and he’s only barely waving them over. main course students still make him nervous, even ones nanami has introduced him to. it’s different when she’s around. 

finally, though, there’s a straggler! a boy with wild, pink-white hair and a smile bordering on ditzy. he’s certain they’ve met! definitely! not that he can remember their name but that’s a separate issue. 

“h-hey!” hajime calls to get their attention, approaching apprehensively. “do you know if nanami will be out soon? i was just looking for her. and... you’re in the same class, right?” is it more or less rude to introduce himself again? 

when enoshima tells him he has a babysitting job, he’s already about to politely decline. it sounds like a waste of his time, and he really has no desire to be around children. before he can decline, however, she’s ringing a bell, and a boy about his age appears at her side, nearly materializing there with his prompt response. strange. 

‘i’m gonna be gone a few days, and i can’t take him with me. don’t want him setting shit on fire or something, so i told him he’s yours until i get back. make sure he’d like, fed and watered and all that, okay, izuru-chan?’ annoying. 

she leans forward, planting a kiss right on his cheek, handing him the end of the chain before flouncing off without another word. 

@excutient​ sent:

“Hey, Ibuki!” Nagito rushes over, colorful gift bag stuffed with equally colored paper in his hand, “I know it’s rather presumptuous, assuming someone as talented as you would want a gift from scum like me. It’s probably not even a very good gift,” He rubs the back of his neck as he laughs nervously, “But someone as wonderful as you deserves wonderful things! So I wanted to get you a gift!” Nagito holds out the large bag to her, very sincerely hoping she’ll like the holographic platform boots.

Ibuki’s eyes light up immediately at the sight of the giftbag, as attracted by the bright colours as she is by the potential gift inside. Before she takes the bag from Nagito however, she terns stern, wagging a finger at him.

‘Hey, hey, what did Ibuki tell you about calling yourself scum?? Or useless, worthless, trash, or any other form of talking shit about yourself??’ She raps her knuckles on his forehead. ‘We don’t do it!! Nagito is awesome and a super cool friend and Ibuki does not like to hear her friends talking badly about themselves!!’

Then she grins, returning her attention to the gift. ‘Especially friends who bring her gifts!!’ She tears out the coloured paper and then gasps, bouncing on the balls of her feet and then dancing from foot to foot, a loud squeal escaping her at the sight of the boots. ‘Especially especially friends who bring her super awesome gifts like this!!’

“ it’s starting to dawn on me that… the reason you might not want to come out about this is because you don’t really love me,” Nagito fidgets with their fingers, struggling to get the words out, to fake a smile, "but that's perfectly understandable! It would be completely foolish of me to think someone as absolutely wonderful as you could really love trash such as myself." (for Hajime)

hajime blinks once. twice. three times. 

not love them..?

it couldn’t be less true. he doesn’t even know where to start with that. for a moment, all he can think about is what a complete failure he is. the person he loves most in the world thinks he doesn’t really love them. how much of a fuck up is he? for a moment, all he can think about his how cold his parents have always been. and he wonders if he doesn’t know how to love. wonders if he’d even be able to learn or if it’s too late. 

the spiral comes to an abrupt stop, though, as he registers nagito calling himself trash. 

finally he’s able to reach out, taking nagito’s cheeks in his hands gently, caressing his jaw gently, looking right into the pale grey of their eyes. god they’re gorgeous. it’s unfair, really. 

“you’re the best thing in my life.” hajime starts, voice serious but wavering just a little with pangs of guilt. his thumbs brush over the juts of nagito’s cheekbones. how could he let them feel anything less than completely cherished?  “i’ve been... selfish.”

a deep breath. 

“being with you is the first thing in a long time that i’ve done just for me. just because i want to. just because it makes me happy.” his eyes dart away. keeping contact through this is too hard. being vulnerable like this feels impossible, twists knots in his stomach, but he can’t let nagito feel unloved. it isn’t fair to them. “and i didn’t want to have to answer questions. or have people - have my parents - pry. i wanted to have this, with you, and not have to worry about what anyone else has to say about it, not have to explain myself for once. because i’m not with you for some kind of benefits or something. i’m with you because i love you, and you make me incredibly happy.” his cheeks feel hot, no doubt flushed up to his ears. 

finally, he looks back to nagito, eyes scanning their face. “i-i’m not using you, or something like that. i don’t want you to be a secret. i’m really sorry... i didn’t know it was making you feel that way.” tentatively, he leans in, pressing a soft, chaste kiss to nagito’s lips.