#except not literally

i'm hungover and depressed and what does my boyfriend do? DRAG ME THROUGH THE COALS.

Really wish I could build a massive stone wall around my house to turn it into a proper castle. Unfortunately my city has "regulations" and finds it "impermissible" to "block driveway sightlines" or "have fences taller than six feet" (and shorter in front).

Does Melanie Scrofano just exclusively get hired in roles to fight scary shit or what

There’s certain emotions I want to avoid so bad that I’d literally rather die

you know that whole idea that you “grow up” and, like, stop being a silly goober? that concept always bummed me out as a kid, and still does for the people it applies to (like my aunt who is the most stereotypically boring, joyless adult), but I’m regularly reassured that won’t happen to you if you don’t let it by my mom, who regularly slides around the house in her socks like a little kid (and also sneaks cookie batter, also like a little kid. my mom is a toddler trapped in the body of a 59 yr old retired teacher).