#excalibur24

It just never ends. Excalibur finally arrive back home at the end of their Cross Time Caper, after traveling to dozens of alternate dimensions and fucking up a countless number of timelines. And when they do, Galactus is waiting for them. (Excalibur #24 – July 1990)

Kurt’s incredibly unsophisticated plan of hiding Rachel by dressing her up to look like Kitty fools every single one of these god damned supremely powerful inter-dimensional beings, even though the 12$ wig she bought from Wish keeps falling off her head. Like, wouldn’t you think there’d be one telepath or a single bounty hunter with more intuition than that of a jelly fish?? This is like the first 2 season of Dexter where the only cop in Miami who even gets a hint of Dexter being a serial killer is James Doakes. (Excalibur #24 – July 1990)

Excalibur is transported to an inter-dimensional hub which, for all we know, could very well be the center of all creation, and they are confronted by omnipotent beings who exist outside space and time and who are responsible for keeping order throughout the universe. Which is why I find it so damn funny that Kurt’s plan to hide Rachel from the authorities is to dress her up in a wig and costume so she looks like Kitty. And when they get confronted by an inter-dimensional gatekeeper whose job it is to make sure things are in order, Rachel’s reaction isn’t one of fear because her life is in jeopardy. It’s “Hey, jerk! It’s called PUBERTY. Look it up, asshole!” And it works!! Who is that artist supposed to be? These inside jokes from the Marvel creators never get old. That was sarcasm. (Excalibur #24 – July 1990)

Now this is some grade A comic book shananagans right here. I love how Kurt’s solution to the omniversal magestrex wanting to murder Rachel is to throw a wig on her and pretend she’s Kitty. And I fucking LOVE how much Rachel both hates this idea and yet she begrudgingly goes along with it. If all of Excalibur's Cross Time Capers had been this hilarious, I would have loved the whole event! (Excalibur #24 – July 1990)

Jesus, THANK YOU. Send these assholes home already. If it was this easy, why did Opal Luna Saturnyne (how the heck do you pronounce that anyway?) wait so god damn long for? Excalibur has shit all over about 50 different alternate dimensions, fucking most of them up, and NOW the omniversal magestrex finally decides to do something about it. Man, I just love how much Meggan hates this chick. And I love how she’s always calling her denigrating names. What is the history with these characters??? (Excalibur #24 – July 1990)

Hey now we’re talking! This is the first issue of the Cross Time Caper that I actually liked! It’s got humor, intrigue, character development, great art, surprises, and best of all, our heroes finally make it home to their own dimension. Too bad this is the last god damned issue of the 12 issue story (what was that bullshit on the cover of the first issue where it said it was only going to be 9 issues???). It’s like Claremont remembered how to write a fucking comic book. (Excalibur #24 – July 1990)

Yeah she jerked that robot off. (Excalibur #24 – July 1990)

And thennnnn! AND THEN. Courtney lets Kitty ride off on a god damn boat, with a bunch of STRANGERS, so she can… “dance the night away.” This is in Europe mind you! Yeah, she is not coming back alive on that thing. I mean, I know all about Europe because I’ve seen both Hostel movies. If you ask me, Courtney is trying WAY too hard to be the cool mom. Yes Kitty needs to have some fun. NO sending her off unsupervised to do ecstasy and have an orgy with a bunch of strangers who are probably going to film it and put it on the internet is not the way a 15 year old girl should be having fun. (Excalibur #24 – July 1990)