May 17
having weird feelings sort of abt my ex but also abt their family. I'm not planning on seeing my ex again but. their family I am legitimately never going to see again and I have this strange feeling in the pit of my stomach abt it.
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having weird feelings sort of abt my ex but also abt their family. I'm not planning on seeing my ex again but. their family I am legitimately never going to see again and I have this strange feeling in the pit of my stomach abt it.
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it probably all sounds pretty bad when I lay it out like that but it's been the better part of a decade and I'm fine about it now <- guy who has never been fine about anything bad that's ever happened in hir life
I kind of miss my ex’s friends... is that weird?
having a Bad Time and remembering trauma from my last ex tonight
it’s so weird when this happens because it’s like I’m looking at it from the outside, like a spectator who has no real stake in the game and who doesn’t feel much of anything at all about it. and then at the same time I’m in there, inhabiting my past body, and it makes me feel... nothing, still, but a bad, weird, detached kind of nothing. it makes me slightly sick to my stomach and I keep hearing the echoes in my head, because the things they said were the loudest, clearest part. I don’t remember what it felt like or how they looked. so even when I’m looking from the outside, it’s not like I can actually see what happened. it’s just a dramatic reenactment, with a piece of my brain saying in a voice that is only sort of mine, “how embarrassing.”
I’m never going to be “the right person” for anyone. I’m too difficult. my last ex proved it. even ppl I think are okay with me get tired of waiting for things I can’t give.
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when I say I hope that they’re okay, I mean it. when I say that I worry for them, I mean it.
when I say that I never want to talk to them again, I mean it.
is it “normal” to be think this much abt your ex and to constantly go back to (usually bad) memories of/with them after six months or is this The Trauma(tm)
I wish that so many things didn’t remind me of my ex. I wish nothing reminded me of them so I could forget them and stop going back to that last month, that last day.