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Dudee I'm so mad. There is only Flareon, Vaperon, and Jolteon as Evee's evolutions in Pokemon Go
Yeah I know. :c I wanted a Sylveon sooooooo badly. Sigh. But at least they have Jolteon. I wouldnāt be able to live without my #1 baby. Haha.
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Of stuff. And be congratulated by someone who sees your improvement and progress and can tells you you're on the right path. And you can express any concerns about anything and have someone to rant to. It makes everyday life a little easier.
I actually thought up a few talking points with a friend last night. And thennnnnā¦some nightmares last night reminded me of a MAJOR issue that I needed to talk about and address. Hopefully I donāt get locked up for it because it does fall under the homicidal categoryā¦but I donāt have any plans to act on the urges. So Idk if I would get locked up for talking about it. But how would I ever get to the bottom of it and fix it if I canāt talk about it??? Uggggggggh.
Idk.
Itās just like..wtf do neurotypical people have to bitch about psychologically??? Why in the world would a neurotypical person go to regular weekly therapy? Iām neurotypical, as long as I take my medsā¦I think. So itās really hard to imagine what therapy is going to be like.
But thank you, Janles, for sending me this. This eases my worries a lot. <3
I know this from my experience in therapy after my overdose, that you just talk about what's going on day to day and how you cope with it. Yes it sounds like a waste of time, but it isn't. It's good to talk to someone on the outside about this kind
HEY. -mini Janles fairy incoming- Don't listen to her. You're absolutely fucking gorgeous. You're family is shallow and apparently they're all pieces of shit. You're fucking awesome. You can overcome all this negativity. Don't give in. Keep smiling.
Ugh. Thank youā¦my mom can really be such a bitch sometimes. And itās not like my mom is fucking itty bittyā¦
But, as you know, itās ALWAYS about appearances with my family. If everything isnāt 200 percent PERFECT on the outside, my parents have to criticize it until it becomes perfect, no matter what means it becomes perfect by. They SAY they careā¦but they really donāt. If I have to become skinny by ana and mia again, they donāt careā¦as long as Iām skinny. As long as Iām the perfect child. As long as Iām perfect. That is ALL theyāve EVER cared about. Fucking christ. Thatās why I didnāt want to come back here ever. Iām so sick of being the perfect child. I cannot fucking WAIT to go to New Orleans be the NON perfect child.
You know what? When I start hormonesā¦.if my parents tell the rest of my family that I died in a car crash or something? SO FUCKING WHAT. I WILL BE HAPPY ABOUT IT. FUCK IT. I am living for me now. NOT my parents.
I will be whoever I damn well want to be.
And yes I do want to be skinny. Who doesnāt? But ANYONE who is on antipsychotics, especially high doses on antipsychotics, will fucking be able to tell you that it is near impossible to be skinny while on them. Antipsychotics are known for weight gain. There IS NO ANTIPSYCHOTIC THAT DOES NOT CAUSE WEIGHT GAIN. NO SUCH THING. THEY ALL DO. And I literally HAVE to be on an antipsychotic to have a normal life so itās not my fucking fault. A lot of them, like the one I am on now, change the way your body takes in and stores sugar. So even if you eat right and exercise, it doesnāt matter. Youāre STILL going to gain weight.
Ughā¦.I canāt stop thinking about that comment, though. I want to cry, tbh. I hate being so isolated here and I hate having nothing to focus on. I seriously cannot wait till school starts or until I can get a transcription jobā¦because having something to work on would really be great right about now. I feel like Iāve lost motivation and energy right now and idk if itās a permanent thing or a just right now kind of thingā¦if itās a permanent thing, Iām going to be really upset. Fuckā¦
Idk. I just feel really down. Iām TRYING to look at the positive side of things, butā¦itās hard, man. Itās really hard. Especially when everyone around you seems to be against youā¦
Bring it on. I'll get a marshmallow shooter.
Oh my lord. Lol. The marshmallow shooter will forever be my nemesis.Ā
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Or or or what if like we could astral project to each other so whenever were sad or lonely or bored or wanna talk or whatever one of us would just show up in like spirit form and boom. Instant buddy.
Thaaaaat would be reaaaaaally awesome! Holy fuck! I actually wonder how far astral projection can goā¦Coz I know it can go short distancesā¦I doubt it can go as far as from North Carolina to Kansas, though. Lol. But thatād be so freakinā cool, though. Whenever weāre sad or lonely or whateverā¦just astral project andā¦.yeah. God, thatād be so useful.
That reminds me of those pillow things that were going around a while ago. You remember those? Idk if you saw them. The pillows for long distance friends where you could hear your friends heart beat or whatever? I think thatās what they did. Thatās what this reminds me of. Lol.
But no wait. Like. If someone tried to bother you, I'd fly in their face and yell at them with my tiny rage. And bite them.
Youād be the most helpful little mini ever. Youād be my own personal watch dog. :p
Damn autocorrect and yes a literal fox.
Lmao. Literal fox. Idk why, but I just like saying that out loud.Ā āLiteral fox.ā
