I can't find the homunculus anywhere. Every now and then as I'm skulking around the village at night I swear I can hear its balls slapping against its thighs as it runs. But I can't find it anywhere. Last I checked, none of the kings are pregnant, so it's not there, which is a relief, I ran out of plan B pills to crush and spike their wine with. But I can't figure out where it's gone to.

Of course not, my liege! Magical accidents happen all the time! And wizards are famously very proud of their hats, so it's completely understandable.

Well to be honest, my liege, the sun has far more impact on the sky than the moon. Granted, they're both up there, but the sun definitely has a greater impact on the sky.

My new plushie, her name is faggot

But I need a good name to call her around my parents! What should I call her as her public identity?

Of course, my liege. I would personally suggest continuing to call her faggot, as one should never try to hide themselves for the comfort of those undeserving.

But I understand that some of my lords, ladies and lieges live in... Less than ideal circumstances, where such actions would be unsafe.

Who the hell are you and how did you get in here.