#everything upward

The end of it all looked like a gunfight, a heavily damaged freighter, and Poe putting himself in harm’s way far more than had ever been planned. But it looked like both of them walking away from the mission, while a pair of astromechs repaired what they could fix of the freighter.

“Transit back looks like it’ll take longer than expected,” Iennyr lied, not caring whether or not the lie was obvious. They both needed time before they had to be in charge of anything or anyone again, and the least they could have was an extra twelve hours. “We should be back tomorrow afternoon.”

“Alright Commander,” General Organa acknowledged. “I want to see you both for debriefing, but until then have a safe journey.” Relief flooded her veins the moment the holomessage was shut off from the General’s end. No more responsibility for a bit.

“Come here,” Poe mumbled, pulling her toward him and guiding her head to rest on his shoulder so it didn’t matter if she’d heard him or not. He hadn’t thought any further ahead, just wanting her close, so he could stop thinking about the mission. The low level emergency lighting did wonders to calm them both, and the stars floating by outside of the viewport kept them focussed on something other than their immediate memories.

“I… that was way too close,” Iennyr said, burying her head further into his shoulder until she felt his chin rest on top of it. “I can’t lose you.” The silence between them was usually comfortable, comforting sometimes. For Poe, in the moment it felt heavy, and loud. They’d both come back from the kind of mission people didn’t come back from, purely because of how well they’d worked together. There was so much more to tell someone like that. So much, that he wondered if the silence was preferable to the end of everything he’d ever shared with her. From the early days of despising each other’s presence and reluctantly taking on board ideas, to promises to keep each other safe that were still yet to fall through. He’d stopped thinking of the present, letting his exhausted thoughts impulsively run free.

“I love you,” he muttered. Iennyr might not have heard had there been any more background noise, but the freighter was nearly silent, aside from the background rumble of the engines. Poe felt her lift her head and move fractionally away from him, turning to face him. The slightly concerned expression on her face wasn’t exactly what he’d hoped for, and he started considering everything he’d just thrown away with one thoughtlessly expressed sentiment. The look she got from him was exhausted and dejected. “You had to know.”

“I do,” she replied quickly, easily. Of course she knew. People didn’t risk their lives for those they didn’t love, not like he had time and time again. They didn’t spend as much time around people they didn’t love, they wouldn’t wait up all night in the medbay, or risk being professionally reprimanded to the degree he had just for a few more hours together for someone they didn’t love. It had never not been clear, and without realising it the moment it changed, she’d done the same. 

“No, but—” Her hand on his cheek stopped any more words of protest, and his thoughts were halted too.

“I know,” Iennyr reiterated, unsure how else to make him get it. Her gaze softened from its intensity. “I’ve known for a long time.” 

“Are you— Are we—” All of a sudden, he caught up with everything she meant, and everything she’d ever meant. Every interaction they’d ever had came together in his mind. It all made sense. “Can I kiss you?” He was a lot less nervous about saying it.

“That’s what I’m getting at,” she smiled, warm and bright. 

"We both did," Iennyr attempted to reassure him, although she considered the consequences from the New Republic might be a little harsher. She was incredibly relieved he was physically more or less okay, no longer on the defensive now she really felt safe as she sat beside him, and Torrin lifted the Nysillin Horizon from the surface of Lothal. "I'm sorry for getting you shot. And for getting frustrated at you back there, you didn't deserve it."

“If you’re taking the blame for the mission, I think I can take the blame for getting shot,” Poe smiled but she knew better than to take his lighthearted words without reading his face. He had the New Republic to answer to on top of General Organa, and even without knowing him that well, it was evident he was anxious about his reputation after it. 

“Whether the mission went smoothly or not, I’ve got a lot of respect for you Dameron,” she told him. It was honest. “I shouldn’t have ever doubted you.” The soft, genuine smile that crossed his face replaced his usual confident smirk, something she found she liked.

“I appreciate it.” Poe looked back to her from where his focus had previously settled on an empty space of floor, his eyebrows slowly pulling together in concern as he scanned her face. "How didn't I notice that?" He ran his thumb over her cheek, a small area stinging at his touch, before he gently turned her head to the side to get a better look at the various scratches and cuts she'd accumulated. 

"That's a little friendly," Iennyr laughed, picking up on his lack of aversion to touching her face despite only meeting her twice now, running a finger over a small scratch on his jawline herself. "You're the same."

"I don't think I am," he told her, carefully reaching up to her forehead which at first felt bruised as he touched it, but when his fingers reached into her hair she winced at the stinging sensation of a half-healing graze became more apparent. "Must've been from the explosion."

“I’ll get it checked over when we get back if things are quiet,” Iennyr reassured him, but as she noticed his right hand resting over the site of his blaster wound, she realised checking on her was a distraction from his own pain that she’d just ended. "We've got a little while on the journey, make yourself as comfortable as you can for now."

“Is it going to be a problem for anyone if I get some rest?” he asked, formality she knew she wouldn't see if they weren't on her father’s ship.

“Go ahead,” Iennyr told him. Her gratitude for the moment of quiet was nothing compared to his; she’d been a comforting presence since they’d met, a feeling of pure warmth, and that was something he’d never needed as much as he did now. Even he was surprised at how fast he’d got so comfortable around her, but she was so easy to be comfortable around. Poe’s head settled naturally on her shoulder as he fell asleep, her hand finding itself tangled in his hair as she ran her fingers through it, a gesture that comforted both of them. They were both too tired to think too hard about what they were doing. Slowly, Poe forgot about the extent of the pain in his arm as he relaxed against her, drifting off enough that he could just feel her warmth as the hum of the ship's engines faded down. She wasn't exactly sure what to do about the young man who was comfortable with her enough to nap up against her, but something about it was comforting for Iennyr too. There was a feeling that she wasn't as distant to the rest of the galaxy as she'd felt when she arrived on D'Qar, that if one person could be this comfortable around her then maybe she wasn't as cold as she'd felt she was. As Iennyr smiled softly at the idea, slowly closing her eyes too, her hand found its way to gently run through Poe's hair as her head rested against his, the contact enough to calm her too. With each passing second she lost the physical tension in her shoulders and her jaw. For once there was a sense that they wouldn't be in trouble forever, that everything would be alright; the Nysillin Horizon was a harbour of that sensation.

Both of them were asleep when the freighter touched down on D’Qar, Torrin unable to hold back his smile when he saw them. One of Poe’s arms was around the back of Iennyr’s waist, his injured arm resting over her lap in a loose embrace, and his hair a mess with Iennyr’s hand still in it. Her other hand lay over his on her thigh, and when Torrin gently shook a shoulder in an attempt to wake them, it was pure luck that it belonged to his daughter. She was a little startled to see her father looking down at her considering the position she was in, all she could really say was, “We’re here already?” Torrin just smiled.

“I contacted the General, she wants to see him now, and you after he’s gone. I’ll let you take it from here,” he told her, exiting the freighter and leaving the two of them responsible for themselves again.

Iennyr was hesitant to move at all, not really keen to receive a lecture from General Organa about her recklessness any more than she was to make herself get up and move, but she knew both were inevitable. Slowly, she attempted to neaten Poe’s hair a little, hoping the movement would be enough to wake him gently and by the time she was as done as was possible, he was awake again too.

“We’re here already?” he mumbled, quickly realising the position he was in and moving, muttering awkward apologies as he did. 

“General wants to see you before you go back to the New Republic,” Iennyr told him, stretching her arms out along the back of the bench as she waited for him to get up.

Upon descending the ramp of the Nysillin Horizon the two pilots were thrown back into the rush of the base, and it only took a few seconds for Poe to spot General Organa standing outside awaiting him.

“Hey,” Poe called Iennyr back as she went to leave the ship in the opposite direction. “If I don’t see you before I go, thanks for your help today.” He couldn’t properly explain how significantly both her quick-thinking and assistance had impacted him; he didn’t enjoy thinking about it but he suspected the New Republic would have expected him to have acted with more… independence. 

(List frequently under construction)

Everything Upward (Star Wars)

In which a hopeful pilot is faced with her wildest dreams and darkest nightmares faster than life itself. More on this can be found on my other blog @that-chandrilan-pilot

Wattpad | AO3

Laws of e(Motion)

uhhh a Jay Walker x OC movieverse fic

(I'll make this better later I promise)

Wattpad | AO3

Tales of Auradon (Descendants)

@celestias-descendants-au for the full AU and more detail

This series follows Elizabeth, Grace, Hannah, Rosa, and their friends while navigating life across Auradon and Neverland through pirate curses, love spells, and the legacy of Belle and Adam's first daughter no one talks about anymore...