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The Grammys and the baby announcement have had me reeling.

I wasn’t a fan of Taylor Swift’s music (I was an indie music snob, but have changed my ways) until I fell down a rabbit 🐇 hole when I googled “Why does TS date so many closeted men?” (🤦🏻‍♀️) Her choices were painfully obvious and I didn’t get it (my closed-minded hetero-normative thinking was to blame and I’m not proud of that). Suddenly her lyrics and music all had double meanings and I was heart broken that this artist had to live in a closet.

As a new Kaylor when “Lover” was released, “Cruel Summer” made perfect sense and was perplexed when my friends who were Swifties say they didn’t get it (P.S. all I want is a whole St. Vincent / Taylor Swift album!). Everything made sense. Everything! Until KK announced she was having a K*shner baby AND TS named J%e as WB.

When Karlie announced the pregnancy on IG I thought it was so brazen when M!k#yH#ss wrote “Cannot wait to watch (and be a part of it)!”

With Jerk’s IG announcement M!key wrote “We love him so much already,” which is very intense for a male best friend.

How crazy would it be if 6’2” Karlie carried twins as a mom and surrogate? What if the final stroke of freedom involved giving two men a baby boy while you kept a child? Obviously I know this is a far fetched / insane/ grasping at straws theory...

As a woman who struggled with infertility for years, the song “Hoax” really pinged for me but why would TS write something like it (“your sleight of hand, my barren land”)? I had a fertility- related surgery that gave me scars that resembled C-section scars in an attempt to get pregnant and when that didn’t work out, I swear my scars would ache when people would mention their C-section. (“You knew it still hurt underneath my scars From when they pulled me apart But what you did was just as dark.”). Then KK announced her pregnancy and it felt like 💡.

Now giving J%e credit and Aaron tagging him in the post does seem to validate JA as a song writer. But as long as TS is with J%e she can write freely about love and forever and as soon as they end people will wait for the record about heartache. What if TS never wants to write about heart ache again (if she can help it)?

I don’t think she planned on coming out during “Lover.” Why name the album “Lover,” if you were ending things or announcing you were Bi?

Her lyrics: “Every bait and switch was a work of art” AND “Forever is the sweetest con” lead me to believe she’ll be with J%e for a while. A long while.

Maybe he has a songwriter? Maybe they did write a song and allowing him to write with her is part of the contract? Maybe Karlie wrote it and they call her “Joe,” after her puppy but are giving J%e credit to further hide in the closet?

It’s her choice to come out when she wants but TS (my beloved TS) and KK, with her ties to the grossest family in their country (and that’s saying A LOT), have gaslighted us for so long and it has gone so deep that even when they throw Kaylors a bone it has now become too little too late.

And maybe Kaylor is no more but I do not believe Toe or Jerklie are real couples.

Again, these are jumbled, ridiculous thoughts from me. I’m not trying to convince anyone of anything, I’m just venting before I step back and give all of this a break.

I want Taylor to be happy. I hope she is, on her own terms.